Dear Blob,
I dreamt a boy I have a crush on dissed me for Mary Kate Olsen. I was pissed in the dream, but pleased when I awoke, that my nightmares are no longer about the house I live in (see www.TheUkuLady.com Song O'The Week "The Neighbor Song").
In other news, The Brittney Spears "comeback" was amazingly bad. She was such a hot child, a pedophilia posterchild, but as an adult, she is not only Not Hot, but extremely unremarkable in every way. Brittney's backup dancers consistently outshine her remedial "Dance for Beginners" moves - a couple tummy swirls thrown in between step, step, touch. In addition to her pathetic dancing, nasal, whiny, barely sexy and truly awful new single, Brittney didn't look like she was having any fun. She's fantastic tabloid fodder and for that I applaud her.
UkuLady Letter to Brittney:
Dear Brittney, please stick to what you're good at: getting knocked up, drunk and investigated by Child Protective Services! I love it when you flash your cooter, drive with your babies on your panty-free lap and smash cars with umbrellas! Love The UkuLady
Showing posts with label Child Protective Services. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Child Protective Services. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Brittney's new fragrance
Dear Blog,
I just went to Brittney's Official Website and she has a new fragrance in stores called In Control, and I'm sorry Blog, but I think In Control is the last thing that Brittney is. Not only is Brit not In Control, but the packaging for In Control resembles a pregnancy kit home tester or some sort of creepy feminine protection. Also, Brittney is still insisting that things are great between her and the repulsive KFed. Wake Up Brittney! That should be the name of her new frgrance! Or Get The Fuck Out Of My Mansion! That would be a good fragrance name. If KFed puts out a fragance, it should be called Wear A Fucking Condom! I mean, poor Brittney! She's not only fat, but she's going to have 2 really unattractive babies under 2 with the worst rapper in the world; and, poor Brit, Child Protective Services have alread visited the Mansion twice? Three times? Unfortunately her website didn't provide that information.
Speaking of the physical unattractiveness of Brittney's baby, I don't mean to be unkind. However, that child is truly pretty ugly. The strange thing is, he was part of People Magazine's Cutest Babies spread. Are they retarded? Perhaps. As People Mag is partially responsible for the iconography of ugly celebrities, such as Ashlee and Nicole Richie and barf, Nicky Hilton. Also, a quick query, have my myspace friendsies noticed that Paris Hilton is only photographed at angles? Seriously, she's never straight on. Also, there is some unbelievable Paris Hilton cameltoe pics available on the web. It's like she loves having her panties up her coot.
Yours, The UkuLady
I just went to Brittney's Official Website and she has a new fragrance in stores called In Control, and I'm sorry Blog, but I think In Control is the last thing that Brittney is. Not only is Brit not In Control, but the packaging for In Control resembles a pregnancy kit home tester or some sort of creepy feminine protection. Also, Brittney is still insisting that things are great between her and the repulsive KFed. Wake Up Brittney! That should be the name of her new frgrance! Or Get The Fuck Out Of My Mansion! That would be a good fragrance name. If KFed puts out a fragance, it should be called Wear A Fucking Condom! I mean, poor Brittney! She's not only fat, but she's going to have 2 really unattractive babies under 2 with the worst rapper in the world; and, poor Brit, Child Protective Services have alread visited the Mansion twice? Three times? Unfortunately her website didn't provide that information.
Speaking of the physical unattractiveness of Brittney's baby, I don't mean to be unkind. However, that child is truly pretty ugly. The strange thing is, he was part of People Magazine's Cutest Babies spread. Are they retarded? Perhaps. As People Mag is partially responsible for the iconography of ugly celebrities, such as Ashlee and Nicole Richie and barf, Nicky Hilton. Also, a quick query, have my myspace friendsies noticed that Paris Hilton is only photographed at angles? Seriously, she's never straight on. Also, there is some unbelievable Paris Hilton cameltoe pics available on the web. It's like she loves having her panties up her coot.
Yours, The UkuLady
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