UkuAdventures in Mexico: Dining Room Table Bed!

Day & Night


Dear Blob,
Ukuadventures are becoming increasingly ridiculous. I slept on the dining room table last night.

The flea problem, or whatever creatures are infesting Casa Azul, are in all 3 bedrooms and the couches and their number is growing. Of course we are on the hunt for a fumigator asap, however, this is Mexico and we are on Mexican time.

From the Beginning: Jessica's first week, she slept in the office bedroom, waking every morning, or in her case, noon, with dozens of bites, seemingly from spiders, mosquitoes and possibly fleas. So she switched to the master bedroom. The morning bites continued and a few days ago, we noticed flea creatures hopping around the couches.

Yesterday morning I awoke, after a poor 'n' itchy nights-unrest, covered in flea-seeming nibblets. My fitful sleep also resulted in a horrible dream about having 3 boobs. Last night, before bed, we changed all the sheets and pillowcases and I retired to bed. While reading (interviews with John Lennon & Yoko), I felt the distinct sensation of bugs hop-crawling on me; alert, I put aside the book and waited for the creatures. Within 5 minutes I killed at least 10. Disturbingly, some seemed like fleas, needing to be killed by fingernail slicing, while some were more easily crushed and left a tiny bug-blood smear. This worried me and the American panic of bed-bug infestation swept over Thessica.

Jessica, laptop in hand, skittled into the library bedroom and we researched bedbugs vs. fleas. We got the flashlights and examined all the mattress nooks 'n' crannies. None of the mattresses exhibited signs of bedbugs but the description of the blood-smear death-mark matched. I weighed my options: a bug-infested soft bed or the dining room table. I chose the table.

A couple towels and chair cushions, it was a pretty good night's rest. Luckily, I was fairly exhausted from a hard day of swimming 'n' sun in La Manzanilla, which is another story of new friendsies of the it's-a-small-world variety, a Mexican Andy Warhol & luxury swimming pool-party.

This morning I awoke to my first phone call, from HB Larry. Hot Town Scoop! Laura's hard-partying, hooker-humping, grocery-store boss died of a heart-attack and she was now in charge and dealing with funeral expenses & planning. I told him I slept on the table.

An email from Carmen & Sally directed us to Fumigator, "Lupe's Husband". Larry rang his doorbell by shouting over the wall, "Lupe!" Very Arrested Development. Lupe's Husband sent the 10 year old daughter to the front gate with the message his sprayer is broken.

We then went to Laura's sister's, Leelah, who advised HB Larry to perform the fumigation poison-party himself, as the other town fumigator is the nephew of the Dead Party-Lovin' Boss and is busy at the Wake.

We retired to Casa Azul for coffee at my bed, where, comparing hard-surface-sleep stories, Larry reminisced about falling asleep on a motor-boat-motor.

As of this writing, the Tomzap forum has provided another fumigator, Daniel, who will be here at 1:30 to assess the situation. We will look appropriately pathetic & sympathetic so's to avoid another night on the table. Crossies!

Love The Ukulady
ps: Small-World Magic: Larry's pal in La Manzanilla is Mark, a web-designer from LA. Mark is moving into the Title Guarantee Building in downtown LA on Sunday. My former roommate and BFF lives there and I'm supposed to write the building theme song for their weekly-Brunch'n'Supper Club.
pps: Mark hosted us at his gorgeous hillside home, where we swam, kept an eye out for scorpions & I broke a glass in his pool.
ppps: Chickens eat Scorpions! This is why we haven't seen many in the Barrio!

UkuAdventures in Mexico: Chips Brand Chips, Cigarettes & Dead Fish!

Chips Brand Chips!

Crafty Dress Washcloths

Creepy Cigarette Package

HOTEL

Pink Trike

Shell Jesus

Dead Eel Looks like Pillow for Door-Draft-Protector



Dead Fish!

UkuAdventures in Mexico: Ice Cream Truck, Beware Crocky & Friendsies!

Jessica & Fresh-Picked Mangos!

Shell-Diorama Jesus!

Rick, Cathy & Jessica in La Manzanilla!

Beware Crocky Wocky!

Ice Cream Truck Drives up & down the Beach!

UkuAdventures in Mexico: Canadians, Oysters & Beach Doughnuts!

Dear Blob,
Jessaly has spent the past two days on the Vacation part of our WorkCation. Both days found us in the charmycharm beachtown of La Manzanilla.

Yesterday we joined our new Canadian friends, Rick and Cathy, from Dawson's Creek, BC (Katie Holmes & Dawson instantly came to mind) for an adventure to their favorite beach, Boca de Iguanas. Our taxi driver, Tony, who has 3 daughters and 9 grandchildren, packed us in, our sweaty tankini-clad bodies smooshed against each other for a cozy get-to-know-you ride. Sadly the entrance to Boca De Iguanas was flooded with a crocodile lagoon, complete with a Dangereoso! Crocky Warning! sign, featuring an unfortunate stick-like dog be-jawed in the Boca de Crocky. So we retired to La Manzanilla for a day of swim, Canadian be-accented conversation and Wealthy Mexican-Families-on-Vacation-watching.

The surf of La Manzanilla is perfect; just rowdy enough to be exciting, but not too scary or dangerous. Rick & Cathy, true to their Canadian heritage, downed cold cervezas and showed off an impressive knowledge of good comedy, being Arrested Development Enthusiasts & referencing Faulty Towers.

A Beach Doughnut salesman appeared with a giant basket of tantalizing and seemingly-tasty Beach Doughnuts! Thrillingly, Thessica posed for photos with the favorite sin-snack and purchased 3. It was one of the most disgusting, so-called treats, I've ever bitten into. I had to take 3 bites, just to make sure it was as horrible as I thought at the first bite, I was so shocked at The Beach Doughnut's inferiority. We returned 2 and paid for one, which unfinished, I bagged and urged my companions to try, to experience a Truly Horrible Doughnut. They refused.

We sunned & swam, sometimes in light rain, which was delightfully cinematic, then returned to Barra De Navidad where I recorded a song for my Heart-on-a-Sleeve album, U, which I'm finishing at Casa Azul, in between the sounds of roosters crowing, cicadas squeak-meeping and street vendors hawking gas, water & shrimp.

We concluded our WorkCation Vacation day with a Rick 'n' Cathy visit. They biked over bearing a 12-sack of fresh, hot, crunchysweet churros and a cooler of beer. The beer had been delivered to their home by an 8 year-old on a motorcycle. The 8 yr. old Beer Delivery Kid needed to pick up the empties the following morning, so we were instructed we needed to finish the beer. My weak physiology allowed for 2 beers and 4 Churros. I could have eaten the whole sack, but a quick swing of my upper-arm flab reminded me of restraint.

The Kanucks are remarkable beer drinkers. They showed no signs of intoxication, despite having drunk at least 15 - 20 beers each, throughout the day. Granted, they were half-sized bottles, but still, I was impressed by their fortitude. They said it's the long winters, which is also the reason for their relocation to Barra. Good time PartyMagic with Rick 'n' Cathy!

Today we caught a ride with Heroic Burbank Larry, breakfasted beachside, crocodile-watched and promptly retired to the sand and sea. Get It While You Can! La Manzanilla is a $500 peso roundtrip taxride, so a free trip there was much appreciated.

We ate fresh-caught oysters on the beach, delivered by Elias, the toothless, Mexican Oyster diver, who used to live in Venice Beach; they were extraordinarily delicious; about $1 dollar each. We met an odd rodent-like creature, looked like a mix of a possum and a raccoon, called a FILL-IN-THE-BLANK and We rode from Melaque to Barra in the back of Larry's pickup, true redneck style; it was fantastically fun! No wonder everyone does it around here. Granted, there are highway shrines everywhere, homages to the car-crashed dead, so we will limit our back-of-the-pickup riding to nearby locations, to avoid becoming a shrine.

1. Crocodiles are totally not our Peeps.
2. Crocodiles are totally crinkled.
3. Casa Azul's Magic Garden has Siamese kittens and a giant black iguana-creature who lives in the wall; real iguanas are emerald green and protected by the state. The Black I-Can't-Remember-Their-Scientific-Name iguana-like reptiles are unprotected and hence, eaten by the locals.

Love The Ukulady
ps: There are beach tchotchke salespeople swarming La Manzanilla. I started doing push-ups and sit-ups every time they approached and discovered exercising is a tchotchke-salesperson deterrent!
pps: We saw hilarious Mexican crafts today: animals made of shells with googly-eyes & dead Jesuses in shell dioramas. Etsy has an untapped market here in Mexico!

UkuAdventures in Mexico: Crocodiles, Butterflies & Paddle-Beak Birds!

Dear Blob,
1. Every outing in Mexico is an unexpected adventure, from crocodile-watching to getting my bag peed on by an Mexican basset hound, to stumbling upon a carnival.

2. The 1980's arcade games, once a usual item in the US, are not in private mansions, like in the Silver Spoons mansion, but they're all in Mexico enjoying a second life.

3. Cornrows on any and all non-black people are the International symbol of Vacation.

4. Mexicans seem to be the ultimate Salespeople/Entrepreneurs. Everyone has something to sell, from tacos to sponges to coconut balls.

Yesterday, leaving Jessica home sick, I visited La Manzanilla, the ultimate stereotype of a Sleepy Mexico Fishing'n'Vacation town. La Manzanilla is not Manzanillo and features a crocodile preserve, which riveted me for almost 2 hours. Crocodiles are the perfect example of Darwinism, crawling out of the water on their stubby webbed-feet-legs; almost land mammals, but reptileish water creatures. Their hefty-thick torsos are fascinatingly leathery and they would totally win at Statues. I also saw a pink paddle-beaked bird, butterflies and schmoozed with Pedro, the fish-taco-truck guy, who used to live in San Diego.

The La Manzanillo beach is almost perfect, except for the distressing piles of garbage everywhere. It was difficult to find a garbage-free place to sit. Apparently, the restauranteurs only clean the beach during the high season. Regardless, it was deeply pleasant, lolling in the water, people-watching wealthy Mexican families and nibbling a honey-drenched coconut ball, purchased from a Beach Vendor.

I felt smugly self-reliant, pampering myself with a Fresa popsicle until my quiet moment was interrupted by a chatty & probably-pervy gringo who asked if I wanted to "Take a Ride."

In other news, there is a tiny carnival in our barrio, Buster is a musical genius, amongst his genius-titles, and we enjoyed straws coated in tamarind and sugar from the grandmotherly Candy Stand lady - super tangy!

Love The Ukulady
ps: Mexico's dichotomies are Much More ShinyBrightBold, as is everything here, than in the US. We have shantytowns and shacks made of garbage, but it's all clustered together; if you avoid LA skid row, seeing shacks of garbage is rare. Here you come upon a poverty-shack right next to a middle-classish home, which is surprising.

pps: The Carpet has moved back inside!

ppps: We mistook a lizard-chameleon creature for a butterfly! Stick-colored, it blends in until it swells it's neck into an exotic, orange fan, which looks like a butterfly wing! Total show-off!