Showing posts with label mexican fumigator. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mexican fumigator. Show all posts

Friday, July 22, 2011

UkuAdventures in Mexico: Flea Free!

PHOTOS: Children's Mural, Barra De Navidad, Jalisco, Mexico



Dear Blob,
It's glorious to sleep in a Flea-Free bed! Jessica has an interesting flea-theory, a creation myth explaining their brief Casa Azul domination:

Carmen & Sally, the most frequent Casa Azulians, have 2 dogs and Conchita Cat, who get regular flea treatment. While the animals live inside, the fleas hop aboard the pets and instantly die from the flea-treated pet-poison. There have been no succulent Inside Pets during Jessaly's stay and the subsequent time from the furry-pet departure to the fleas explosive appearance, seems to be the perfect breeding time for whatever few fleas were left behind. Instead of tasty dog, the fleas were left with tasty un-flea-treated person and partied like rock stars.

Raise Your Glass! May the Fleas be the final drama of the purported It-Comes-In-3's: Flood, Baby OC Debacle, Fleas!

In other news, Jessica wants to invent the Mosquito-Net Burka. Genius. Another wide-open million-dollar market.

Love The Ukulady
ps: I do have an odd mini-rash on my stomach, which reminds me of poison oak, which doesn't seem to grow in Mexico.

pps: While jogging through the barrio, I've noticed many disabled people, retarded, wheelchair-bound, extremely old; it occurred to me that in the US, we like to hide our disabled away from the general population. I admire Mexican's dedication to their family, no matter what the circumstances, however, they go too far, being obsessed with family. Teens start child-bearing around 14 and having 9 - 12 children is still common. When will humans learn to Balance? Be dedicated to family, but be aware of the World and the population problems facing humanity. Is this the fault of the Catholic Church & it's iron fist clutching Latin America?

Thursday, July 21, 2011

UkuAdventures in Mexico: Think of the Donner Party...

PHOTOS: Barra De Navidad in Mural! Churros!



Dear Blob,
This has been one of those travel-days when one is ready to:

A. Change one's ticket home to Right Now
B. Flee for the nearest 4-star hotel, which should be fairly nice in Mexico.
C. Think often about The Donner Party and their trials and tribulations.
D. Feel deserving of Chips Brand Chips, Beer & Churros all at the exact same time. (didn't really happen)
E. Consider what a 3rd World Country is like, as Mexico is only a "Developing Nation".

I remember this day when I was traveling in Southeast Asia; it happened on the Thai island of Ko Chang, when, exhausted from a 12 hour bus ride through Cambodia, I and my travel-companion were hoodwinked into pre-paying for 2 nights at a sub-par Australian Party-Resort. It was a different Difficult that dealing with Fleas in Mexico; the main problem today being 2 nights with poor sleep. Anyone who wakes up on a dining room table is bound to be wearing crankypants & bitchy boots.

Daniel, the Mexican Fumigator, shocked us all by arriving promptly at 1:30. A thorough investigation of Casa Azul revealed dozens of fat spider nests 'n' eggs; the Fleas were elusive, but Daniel was confident they were living in the furniture. Unfortunately, he was unable to spray for both at the same time and we were forced to choose. We went with Fleas.

Remember the famed neighborhood Dryer, recently acquired by our neighbor Laura? We were probably the first lucky neighbors to enjoy the privilege of it's heat-power. We took all the bedding, linens and clothing of the house and loaded it in her dryer to kill the fleas 'n' eggs. After pleading with Daniel to fumigate today, he said to expect him at 5pm.

Daniel the Fumigator is the first Early Mexican I've ever met. He was on LA-Actor's Time, showing up 20 minutes before 5, while we were attempting to eat our first food of the traumatic day. Not only did he show up early, but before we could even greet him, the man had his poison sprayer out and began indiscriminately, squirting poison everywhere. He got my backpack, almost got our lunch, which had been a debacle in itself, involving mayonnaise, my most-hated food-item and was ready to spray us, when we hastily found keys, packed our purselets at hopped on bikes, in search of a fancy hotel pool to sneak into.

Once we got to town, we couldn't find the house keys, which Jessica determined she left at the house. She raced back to Casa Azul, while I, hippie-like, collapsed on the ground, under a shady tree, confusing the fleets Wealthy Mexican tourists, as I have neither dreadlocks or tie-dye and I was not selling handmade hemp jewelery.

20 minutes later Jessica returned, beet-red, upper-lip glistening with bike-sweat; both of us were sheathed in perspiration, like the gelatinous sheen on chicken after it's been in the fridge overnight. She was keyless. The first time I trusted her with the keys and she lost them. The good news is they were actually hidden in one of our bags. In our haste to not be poisoned by Daniel's speed-spraying, she'd forgetfully dropped them in a secret pocket.

Just re-telling this story exhausts me further. We ended the difficult day being allowed by a hotel to drink cervezas poolside, but not allowed to actually go in their pool. We did anyway and then made BFF with all the vacationing children, who were thrilled to practice their English on us. There was a cold-shower by the pool, overlooking a gorgeous ocean with sun-glisten-sparkles, so we stayed cool and our senses of humor were restored by hilarious children, who remain the same throughout the world: joyful, curious & life-affirming.

One girl asked me in Spanish if I ate eggs at my Grandma's house. We blew a couple kids from LA's minds, when they learned that we too, were from LA! The LA kids, from Highland Park, enjoyed guessing my age, which went from 14 to 48 in the same breath.

Currently, we are back at Casa Azul, our beds remade, our fingers crossed. There are still hundreds of spiders and flying cockroaches to contend with and if the fleas are not gone, we flee to a hotel.

In other news, the debacles should not overshadow the Good & Interestingness of Mexico; I'm constantly impressed by most Mexican's eagerness to help, no matter what the circumstances. A nice couple on a date dirtied their hands helping me fix my broken bike chain, in the rain.

I was considering the un-diversity of Mexico, when I remembered I'm in a tiny Mexican beach town. If a Mexican came to a tiny town in just about anywhere, America, s/he too, would be surprised at the un-diversity of America. Diversity lives in Big Cities.

Mexicans Love Plastic Bags & Styrofoam Plates.

Love The Ukulady
ps: Chicken City is a good name for a Cartoon City.
pps: A lot of cameltoe around here.
ppps: I don't think I'm young enough to be interested in dealing with the 3rd world. That means ebola, malaria, dengue & yellow fever, no indoor plumbing and more. I'm old; for a 14 year old.
pppps: Larry told me he upped my status to Senora because most folks around here cannot understand how I could possibly be unmarried & childless and in my 30's! Unfathomable.

UkuAdventures in Mexico: Dining Room Table Bed!

Day & Night


Dear Blob,
Ukuadventures are becoming increasingly ridiculous. I slept on the dining room table last night.

The flea problem, or whatever creatures are infesting Casa Azul, are in all 3 bedrooms and the couches and their number is growing. Of course we are on the hunt for a fumigator asap, however, this is Mexico and we are on Mexican time.

From the Beginning: Jessica's first week, she slept in the office bedroom, waking every morning, or in her case, noon, with dozens of bites, seemingly from spiders, mosquitoes and possibly fleas. So she switched to the master bedroom. The morning bites continued and a few days ago, we noticed flea creatures hopping around the couches.

Yesterday morning I awoke, after a poor 'n' itchy nights-unrest, covered in flea-seeming nibblets. My fitful sleep also resulted in a horrible dream about having 3 boobs. Last night, before bed, we changed all the sheets and pillowcases and I retired to bed. While reading (interviews with John Lennon & Yoko), I felt the distinct sensation of bugs hop-crawling on me; alert, I put aside the book and waited for the creatures. Within 5 minutes I killed at least 10. Disturbingly, some seemed like fleas, needing to be killed by fingernail slicing, while some were more easily crushed and left a tiny bug-blood smear. This worried me and the American panic of bed-bug infestation swept over Thessica.

Jessica, laptop in hand, skittled into the library bedroom and we researched bedbugs vs. fleas. We got the flashlights and examined all the mattress nooks 'n' crannies. None of the mattresses exhibited signs of bedbugs but the description of the blood-smear death-mark matched. I weighed my options: a bug-infested soft bed or the dining room table. I chose the table.

A couple towels and chair cushions, it was a pretty good night's rest. Luckily, I was fairly exhausted from a hard day of swimming 'n' sun in La Manzanilla, which is another story of new friendsies of the it's-a-small-world variety, a Mexican Andy Warhol & luxury swimming pool-party.

This morning I awoke to my first phone call, from HB Larry. Hot Town Scoop! Laura's hard-partying, hooker-humping, grocery-store boss died of a heart-attack and she was now in charge and dealing with funeral expenses & planning. I told him I slept on the table.

An email from Carmen & Sally directed us to Fumigator, "Lupe's Husband". Larry rang his doorbell by shouting over the wall, "Lupe!" Very Arrested Development. Lupe's Husband sent the 10 year old daughter to the front gate with the message his sprayer is broken.

We then went to Laura's sister's, Leelah, who advised HB Larry to perform the fumigation poison-party himself, as the other town fumigator is the nephew of the Dead Party-Lovin' Boss and is busy at the Wake.

We retired to Casa Azul for coffee at my bed, where, comparing hard-surface-sleep stories, Larry reminisced about falling asleep on a motor-boat-motor.

As of this writing, the Tomzap forum has provided another fumigator, Daniel, who will be here at 1:30 to assess the situation. We will look appropriately pathetic & sympathetic so's to avoid another night on the table. Crossies!

Love The Ukulady
ps: Small-World Magic: Larry's pal in La Manzanilla is Mark, a web-designer from LA. Mark is moving into the Title Guarantee Building in downtown LA on Sunday. My former roommate and BFF lives there and I'm supposed to write the building theme song for their weekly-Brunch'n'Supper Club.
pps: Mark hosted us at his gorgeous hillside home, where we swam, kept an eye out for scorpions & I broke a glass in his pool.
ppps: Chickens eat Scorpions! This is why we haven't seen many in the Barrio!