Dear Blob,
The day before Thanksgiving, my brother reported that his new best friend, the great-grandson of the president of Venezuela, would be joining the Lerner clan, for dinner. The word "great" didn't really register with me and so thrilled, I assumed I would be dining with Hugo Chavez's great grandson! Hugo Chavez is such a rabble rouser, and while he is not the special-sweater-wearing South American politician (Bolivia?), he is certainly infamous. Romolo wore a jaunty scarf, appeared bemused at the Lerner Thanksgiving and is not Hugo Chavez's grandson, great or not. Some other long-dead Venezuelan president who is Not on the front page of the newspapers, holds the title of Romolo's great-grandfather. I was a little disappointed, but Hugo Chavez is pretty dictorial, anyway.
Some Highlights from the Lerner Thanksgiving:
1. Trader Jews - the renamed store
2. The Tidbits, a band
3. The Nitwit Tidbits, a better band
4. The Culturally Jewish/Brooklyn Taxi-Driver Butler - you have to know my father to find this funny. This came up because Romolo's step-father is a butler in San Francisco. The thought of my culturally Jewish dad being employed as a butler, is horrifyingly hilarious. It's a union, because then he is un-fireable.
In other news, The UkuLady is finally going to Vegas. I hope to find the thrift stores with loads of glitter bikinis and '70's mumus....
Love The UkuLady
Showing posts with label Jews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jews. Show all posts
Monday, November 26, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Cinchy!
Dear Blog,
The UkuLady is so over news of suicide bombings in iraq, racial--freakout-incidents and the Severe Lack of Left-Turn Lanes and arrows in Los Angeles. The first two topics only briefly affect my mood. The Severe Lack Of LFT&A's in LA are a constant. As are Mini-vans, the seemingly-car-of-choice for really bad and slow drivers who are partial to beanie babies and Jesus fish. I've ranted about this before. How fucking boring and repetetive. Oh, I've been censured from my former-weekly Uke shows at the Heeb Deli for saying Fuck too much. It's my upbringing; my former-NYC-Cab-Driver dad says it a lot too, as in "These fucking mini-van drivers driving 45 in the fucking fast lane on the fucking freeway!".
Meanwhile, I'm wondering if the kids are still saying, "Get Jiggy" and "That's da Bomb". My yoga teacher said "Cinchy" the other day, as in, "This pose is cinchy!" It wasn't, but she was describing the kind of attitude that will make the pose Cinchy. Love Cinchy. I don't feel comfortable saying "Jiggy". Cinchy, though...bring it!
Love The UkuLady
PS: I did my taxes and it was pretty cinchy! Everyone should be taught by a fiscally-saavy cultural-heeb (my dad) how to do their own taxes. It's cinchy!
PPS: I'm totesies getting money back!
PPS: The Heebs are truly genetically-fiscally saavy. No one can fire me from my job as the UkuLady, for saying that; because I work for myself; because I am a fiscally-saavy cultural-heeb. It's true. Us, the frizzy-headed, pushy, loud-mouths are totally good with money. It's cinchy because it's genetic. Bring on the debate....(See www.TheUkuLady.com songpage song, "Waxing Confessional")
The UkuLady is so over news of suicide bombings in iraq, racial--freakout-incidents and the Severe Lack of Left-Turn Lanes and arrows in Los Angeles. The first two topics only briefly affect my mood. The Severe Lack Of LFT&A's in LA are a constant. As are Mini-vans, the seemingly-car-of-choice for really bad and slow drivers who are partial to beanie babies and Jesus fish. I've ranted about this before. How fucking boring and repetetive. Oh, I've been censured from my former-weekly Uke shows at the Heeb Deli for saying Fuck too much. It's my upbringing; my former-NYC-Cab-Driver dad says it a lot too, as in "These fucking mini-van drivers driving 45 in the fucking fast lane on the fucking freeway!".
Meanwhile, I'm wondering if the kids are still saying, "Get Jiggy" and "That's da Bomb". My yoga teacher said "Cinchy" the other day, as in, "This pose is cinchy!" It wasn't, but she was describing the kind of attitude that will make the pose Cinchy. Love Cinchy. I don't feel comfortable saying "Jiggy". Cinchy, though...bring it!
Love The UkuLady
PS: I did my taxes and it was pretty cinchy! Everyone should be taught by a fiscally-saavy cultural-heeb (my dad) how to do their own taxes. It's cinchy!
PPS: I'm totesies getting money back!
PPS: The Heebs are truly genetically-fiscally saavy. No one can fire me from my job as the UkuLady, for saying that; because I work for myself; because I am a fiscally-saavy cultural-heeb. It's true. Us, the frizzy-headed, pushy, loud-mouths are totally good with money. It's cinchy because it's genetic. Bring on the debate....(See www.TheUkuLady.com songpage song, "Waxing Confessional")
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Jewhovah's Witness of Echo Park
Dear Blog,
A regular occurence in Echo Park on Sunday mornings, is the fleet of Jehovah's Witness that stalk my street. I live on a one-block street and one would think that the Jay Dub's (phonetic initialsies) would let their peeps know that our house is occupied by 1. English speakers only and 2. Hippie Pagans with Buddist leanings and Jew instincts. Every Sunday, as I sit on my porch drinking imported-from-SF coffee, reading the pape, the cowbell strategically hung on our gate, dongs, and the Ross Dress For Less fancy-outfit-garbed Witnesses lurk in front of our gate debating, in Spanish, if our house holds possible Targets for Conversion; one brave Witness without fail, opens the gate and crankily, I shout from my porch perch, "I'm a Hippie Buddist Jew! And so are the neighbors!" This is a lie, as Carla and Junko are certainly not Jews. Phillipino/PuertoRican=PhilliRican & Japanese American respectively. Honorary Cultural Heebs. I can't believe the Witness don't have a more efficient Conversion-Plan. They should have a phone-tree of sorts, which let's them know who's, not only NOT Down to be converted, but who on the block doesn't speak Spanish. Because they don't speak English. Racism in Action! But it's generally truesies. I mistakenly wrote Jewhovah in the title and I love it. Good times.
Love The UkuLady
PS: I've discovered Firefox and I can't believe I've been living without it. Safari sucks.
PPS: Producer/Engineer/Boy-I-Heart called and fixed my recording equiptsies via phone! Said it was the easiest tech-call he ever fielded, but what would I know since I'm just a girl. He was at the weho (West Hollywood) farmer's market. I love him.
A regular occurence in Echo Park on Sunday mornings, is the fleet of Jehovah's Witness that stalk my street. I live on a one-block street and one would think that the Jay Dub's (phonetic initialsies) would let their peeps know that our house is occupied by 1. English speakers only and 2. Hippie Pagans with Buddist leanings and Jew instincts. Every Sunday, as I sit on my porch drinking imported-from-SF coffee, reading the pape, the cowbell strategically hung on our gate, dongs, and the Ross Dress For Less fancy-outfit-garbed Witnesses lurk in front of our gate debating, in Spanish, if our house holds possible Targets for Conversion; one brave Witness without fail, opens the gate and crankily, I shout from my porch perch, "I'm a Hippie Buddist Jew! And so are the neighbors!" This is a lie, as Carla and Junko are certainly not Jews. Phillipino/PuertoRican=PhilliRican & Japanese American respectively. Honorary Cultural Heebs. I can't believe the Witness don't have a more efficient Conversion-Plan. They should have a phone-tree of sorts, which let's them know who's, not only NOT Down to be converted, but who on the block doesn't speak Spanish. Because they don't speak English. Racism in Action! But it's generally truesies. I mistakenly wrote Jewhovah in the title and I love it. Good times.
Love The UkuLady
PS: I've discovered Firefox and I can't believe I've been living without it. Safari sucks.
PPS: Producer/Engineer/Boy-I-Heart called and fixed my recording equiptsies via phone! Said it was the easiest tech-call he ever fielded, but what would I know since I'm just a girl. He was at the weho (West Hollywood) farmer's market. I love him.
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