Gene Simmons, Brangelina, Parasitic Twins & Camping!
Dear Blob,
I performed for Gene Simmons last week and am contractually forbidden to say anything on the subject. I auditioned to be an in UnNamed soon-to-be-aired reality television show, based on songwriting. Gene told me I am a natural performer and I am proud of him for not being dead. Once the show airs, I will post a full-disclosure blob on the subject.
In other news, I dreamt I was BFF with Brangelina and all their kids. In real life, I did go to Jane Fonda's acting summer camp with Angelina, in the '80's. She and I were never in the same bunk, and I recall her being extremely shy, so a tween friendship never materialized.
An early morning question queried by my manpanion:
"If Siamese twins have sex, is it masturbation, or incest?" Wow. Probably both. Weird. I'm relieved I don't have a parasitic twin. I'm also relieved I wasn't born with two faces. Google that one, Blob! A baby in India was born with a rare condition, two faces. I don't recommend googling medical oddities and deformities, before bed.
Love The Ukulady
ps: Manpanion and I went camping last weekend and a skeevy wannabe hippie was making the rounds, attempting to befriend other campers. Luckily, Manpanion wore his comedy Republican hat, discovered to be The Best Deterrent for skeevy wannabe hippies. The schmucky one-world-one-love-hippie saw Manpanion's "Proud to be a Republican" hat and pleasingly, steered clear of our campsite.
pps: Do not go camping in the summer. Schmucks abound, with a enormous disrespect for other campers and the earth, as proven by a pristine emerald waterfall, fringed with moss, ferns, a cast-aside lavender g-string and a dirty diaper.
Showing posts with label Hippies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hippies. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Dare to Suck & Fuck Fear
Dear Blob,
The UkuLady has been receiving an overwhelming number of emails lately, thanks to my incredible gay-heeb-manager's marketing diligence. The emails are daily affirmations and while I don't have time to answer all of them, one came in that I am compelled to share with you, Blob, and my readers.
FROM SARAHCAKES, My MYSPACE FRIEND:
I have a question. You are awesome to the max. But How do you just not care what people say or think? I always am careful with what I say to people. I'm a big ol' chicken. I hate giving speeches and so on. I wish I could be like you and just not give a damn.
Sarah
The opportunity has come for The Ukulady to change the world. I told Sarah I have 2 mottoes:
1. Fuck Fear
2. Dare To Suck
If humans could eliminate Fear from their psyches, this world will change for the better. Fear drives many people and I believe it is the root of all evil. Daring to suck is related to self-love and self acceptance. If everyone really loved themselves and stopped judging themselves, again, planet earth could transform. We will still have hurt and grief and pain, because loss is inevitable. However miscommunication, anger, doubt, greed and all the other negative creatures of the shadowbox, will weaken. I heart Love. What a fucking hippie thing to say.
Love The Ukulady
ps: simultaneous to this email, my amazing sister (www.judemooney.com) told me I should be a motivational speaker.
pps: I'm done hating Britney, Lindsey and Jenna. I love them. But not in a lesbian way, or in an admiration way. More in a pity way and they doing the best they can possibly do. Because like Anne Frank, I believe all people are good at heart.
The UkuLady has been receiving an overwhelming number of emails lately, thanks to my incredible gay-heeb-manager's marketing diligence. The emails are daily affirmations and while I don't have time to answer all of them, one came in that I am compelled to share with you, Blob, and my readers.
FROM SARAHCAKES, My MYSPACE FRIEND:
I have a question. You are awesome to the max. But How do you just not care what people say or think? I always am careful with what I say to people. I'm a big ol' chicken. I hate giving speeches and so on. I wish I could be like you and just not give a damn.
Sarah
The opportunity has come for The Ukulady to change the world. I told Sarah I have 2 mottoes:
1. Fuck Fear
2. Dare To Suck
If humans could eliminate Fear from their psyches, this world will change for the better. Fear drives many people and I believe it is the root of all evil. Daring to suck is related to self-love and self acceptance. If everyone really loved themselves and stopped judging themselves, again, planet earth could transform. We will still have hurt and grief and pain, because loss is inevitable. However miscommunication, anger, doubt, greed and all the other negative creatures of the shadowbox, will weaken. I heart Love. What a fucking hippie thing to say.
Love The Ukulady
ps: simultaneous to this email, my amazing sister (www.judemooney.com) told me I should be a motivational speaker.
pps: I'm done hating Britney, Lindsey and Jenna. I love them. But not in a lesbian way, or in an admiration way. More in a pity way and they doing the best they can possibly do. Because like Anne Frank, I believe all people are good at heart.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Jewhovah's Witness of Echo Park
Dear Blog,
A regular occurence in Echo Park on Sunday mornings, is the fleet of Jehovah's Witness that stalk my street. I live on a one-block street and one would think that the Jay Dub's (phonetic initialsies) would let their peeps know that our house is occupied by 1. English speakers only and 2. Hippie Pagans with Buddist leanings and Jew instincts. Every Sunday, as I sit on my porch drinking imported-from-SF coffee, reading the pape, the cowbell strategically hung on our gate, dongs, and the Ross Dress For Less fancy-outfit-garbed Witnesses lurk in front of our gate debating, in Spanish, if our house holds possible Targets for Conversion; one brave Witness without fail, opens the gate and crankily, I shout from my porch perch, "I'm a Hippie Buddist Jew! And so are the neighbors!" This is a lie, as Carla and Junko are certainly not Jews. Phillipino/PuertoRican=PhilliRican & Japanese American respectively. Honorary Cultural Heebs. I can't believe the Witness don't have a more efficient Conversion-Plan. They should have a phone-tree of sorts, which let's them know who's, not only NOT Down to be converted, but who on the block doesn't speak Spanish. Because they don't speak English. Racism in Action! But it's generally truesies. I mistakenly wrote Jewhovah in the title and I love it. Good times.
Love The UkuLady
PS: I've discovered Firefox and I can't believe I've been living without it. Safari sucks.
PPS: Producer/Engineer/Boy-I-Heart called and fixed my recording equiptsies via phone! Said it was the easiest tech-call he ever fielded, but what would I know since I'm just a girl. He was at the weho (West Hollywood) farmer's market. I love him.
A regular occurence in Echo Park on Sunday mornings, is the fleet of Jehovah's Witness that stalk my street. I live on a one-block street and one would think that the Jay Dub's (phonetic initialsies) would let their peeps know that our house is occupied by 1. English speakers only and 2. Hippie Pagans with Buddist leanings and Jew instincts. Every Sunday, as I sit on my porch drinking imported-from-SF coffee, reading the pape, the cowbell strategically hung on our gate, dongs, and the Ross Dress For Less fancy-outfit-garbed Witnesses lurk in front of our gate debating, in Spanish, if our house holds possible Targets for Conversion; one brave Witness without fail, opens the gate and crankily, I shout from my porch perch, "I'm a Hippie Buddist Jew! And so are the neighbors!" This is a lie, as Carla and Junko are certainly not Jews. Phillipino/PuertoRican=PhilliRican & Japanese American respectively. Honorary Cultural Heebs. I can't believe the Witness don't have a more efficient Conversion-Plan. They should have a phone-tree of sorts, which let's them know who's, not only NOT Down to be converted, but who on the block doesn't speak Spanish. Because they don't speak English. Racism in Action! But it's generally truesies. I mistakenly wrote Jewhovah in the title and I love it. Good times.
Love The UkuLady
PS: I've discovered Firefox and I can't believe I've been living without it. Safari sucks.
PPS: Producer/Engineer/Boy-I-Heart called and fixed my recording equiptsies via phone! Said it was the easiest tech-call he ever fielded, but what would I know since I'm just a girl. He was at the weho (West Hollywood) farmer's market. I love him.
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