UkuLady at Gay Pride!!!

Dear Blog!
Today I played my first Gay Pride Festival in San Diego, which is like a tropical San Francisco, but smaller. I recruited my future roommate, and Best LA Pal, Don Black (www.InfiniteCrux.com) to be my roadie and he wore Feminine-Hygiene-Pink sneakers we found last year at Ross Dress for Less, but I think everyone knew he was straight, regardless of his festive foot-wear. I was a hit with the gay men and hit on by the lesbians, and we ate gyros and threw our garbage in bins sponsored by the Lube Co. In general, gay men are extremely hot, physically-fit and hyper-conscious of their skin-suits, but gay women, not so much. This is not a new observation, just re-affirmed.
On our way to Pride, we stopped at Krispy Kreme Donuts in Orange County and I practiced my set list while Don retired to the powder room; three children, post-donut, wearing Krispy Kreme hats were riveted by my ukulele, pink & orange mumu, and I struck up conversation with them, and after describing an Octagon, played the The Octocado (see www.blogspot.ukulady.com), which was an instant hit. They demanded a repeat performance, but Don emerged, so I gave the Parents a card, explained we were off to Gay Pride, and away we drove.
It was a glorious day, full of theoretical magic ponies, new best friendsies and fresh sea air. Upon our return to LA, we ate taco truck tacos from a trolley at what I am calling Smog Check Tacos, as the trolley is stationed at the Smog Check place. They were asadalicious.
Love The UkuLady
PS: There are also many hot lesbians and I was hit on by one, which we taped.
PPS: I love gay men so much.
PPPS: It is awkward singing about hefty Americans in my song, LA County Fair (see www.TheUkuLady.com), when there are several hefty audience members. I always try to avoid looking at them when I sing about the Fat People eating corndogs, but Don said, I inadvertently look at them. Guilt. Sorry. I love you Hefty Americans; I just want you to feel healthy and good about yourself.

What's up Jenna Bush? Call me!

Dear Jenna Bush!
Ok, I think I've been a really patient myspace friend, but I have to admit, I'm getting a little fed-up! You didn't make it to any of my UkuLady shows in SF or LA and apparently you haven't told your dad to get out of Iraq, because according to my daily newspaper, the US is still deeply intrenched and young poor kids with few options and prospects aside from the military, are getting killed daily, not to mentioned the scores of Iraqi citizens. What's the deal? If you were a really good daughter and myspace friend, you would hold a bit more sway over your dad.
Speaking of Washington, what do you think about Representative Foley, the homophobic homosexual pedophile Republican? Pretty interesting, but hell, I don't blame him! I mean, I like my boyfriends to have young firm asses too, don't you? I don't like them young, though. I like men, not boys. Is your dad into the same stuff as Representative Foley? Anyway, The UkuLady is going to to be on www.RingMyBell.tv wednesday, October 4th from 11am to noon and you can totally call in: 323-603-6300 and we can totally talk about whatevsies! I have to go underwear shopping at Ross soon - wanna come?
Love The UkuLady

The Downfall of Delta Burke

Dear Blog!
Poor Delta Burke! Today, browsing in the Ross Dress for Less underwear section, I discovered what Delta's been up too since her weight gain, divorce from that famous guy and subsequent disappearance from the spotlight...She's got an underwear line for fat ladies. I almost, so close, bought them. The $14 dollar price tag was a bit too steep for comedy puposes. It made me sad. The Delta Burke Fat Lady Panties weren't even pretty. They are ugly.
Love The UkuLady