Dear Blob,
Poor Lindsey Lohan! According to US Weekly, she's almost broke! How heartbreaking! Apparently, she can't get any movie work and has moved in with her suspected girlfriend because she wants to save money on rent! Luckily for Lindsey, The Ukulady has some hot money-saving tips for her during these tough economic times.
1. Stop buying expensive handbags, Lindsey. A girl really only needs about 3 handbags. If you are really attached to your high-end designer bags, keep a few and sell the rest on E-Bay! I'm sure there are some die-hard Lindsey Lohan Fans who can navigate the E-Bay landscape for you! You can become the Lindsey Lohan of E-Bay!
2. Sell your fancy vehicle and get a Toyota or a Honda! It's a buyers market, Lindsey! And I'm sure there is some die-hard Lindsey Lohan fan who will be thrilled to buy your expensive car and drive it around! Then we can be twinsies, because I have a Honda!
3. Only do other people's drugs. Drugs like cocaine are expensive and you should definitely be able to mooch off other recreational users who hang out at the Chateau Marmont! I'm sure you know that people want to hang out with you because you are so beautiful (totally true and earnest - Lindsey is Stunning.) and since you seem to be into recreational drug-use, using other's coke is a great way to save money!
I applaud your decision, Lindsey, to save on rent by moving in with Samantha! Yay! I wish someone would move in with the Ukulady & Gay Fab Roommate (GFR) because our rent is outrageous. Good luck on getting work, Lindsey! I and all my struggling actor pals are also having a hard time getting work, so remember, you are not alone! There are thousands of talented actors who can't even get a theatrical agent, so Lindsey, consider yourself lucky, count your blessings and do something smart with your next paycheck! I recommend Bay Area real-estate (when you're surrounded by water, there's limited land-room!).
Love The Ukulady
ps: Maybe you can apply for unemployment, Lindsey!
pps: Taco Trucks are cheap and delicious! The best one is on Alvarado, in Echo Park, in front of the Vons!
Showing posts with label handbags. Show all posts
Showing posts with label handbags. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Sunday, February 10, 2008
The Racism Handbag Tote
Dear Blob,
One of my Fleet of Gay Men has invested in the gayest thing ever, a line of handbag totes designed by another gay man. At my investorPal's house last night, he invited me to the garage for a preview of the line, which is debuting in Vegas this week. There are 4 handbag totes to choose from, each complete with original art by the Designer. InvestorPal broke into the fresh-from-China boxes of 1000 handbag totes and showed me the first 3, a yellow, the Mao bag, with cutouts of the lovable dictator, and a green one (which I eventually chose to take home); but he was searching for "The Red Bag" and said I would love it! After a few boxes, he finally, gaily exlaimed, "Aha!" and The Red Bag was revealed. Upon first glance, I exhaled a gaspy wow-ish kind of sound and a phrase similar to, "OMG, that's incredibly racist!" was expelled from my awed mouth. The Red Handbag Tote features cutout collage pictures of the Amos & Andy/Mammy Blackface kids of yesteryear, symbols of oppression, racism and slavery.
InvestorPal-of-200-Racism-Tote-Handbags, (which donate a percentage of sales to an AIDS charity) divulged that the Tote-Handbag-Designer had no idea the blackface cartoons were symbols of racism and it was a total Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm Moment. One of my Fleet Of Gay Men is stuck owning 200 Racist Designer Handbags and is going to try and sell them to the public. Apparently Muhammed Ali's daughter was given one of the Blackface handbags, which she graciously accepted. I like to think I have a great sense of humor, but I wouldn't be caught dead carrying one of those, especially during my upcoming trip to The South., which is not to say I was offended. I was not offended, but amazed that the designer was unaware that Blackface isn't really acceptable in California and I think the rest of the United States & Canada.
Love The Ukulady
ps: When I lived in Holland in 1995 the department store was selling Carnival costumes advertised as - I can't believe I'm going to write this word: Negro!
pps: And during the same time, McDonalds in Germany was selling Asian-themed McNuggets, which came in a red box featuring a buck-toothed slanty-eyed Ching-Chong-Chinaman.
ppps: I think talking about racism is healthy.
pppps: Heal Britney!
One of my Fleet of Gay Men has invested in the gayest thing ever, a line of handbag totes designed by another gay man. At my investorPal's house last night, he invited me to the garage for a preview of the line, which is debuting in Vegas this week. There are 4 handbag totes to choose from, each complete with original art by the Designer. InvestorPal broke into the fresh-from-China boxes of 1000 handbag totes and showed me the first 3, a yellow, the Mao bag, with cutouts of the lovable dictator, and a green one (which I eventually chose to take home); but he was searching for "The Red Bag" and said I would love it! After a few boxes, he finally, gaily exlaimed, "Aha!" and The Red Bag was revealed. Upon first glance, I exhaled a gaspy wow-ish kind of sound and a phrase similar to, "OMG, that's incredibly racist!" was expelled from my awed mouth. The Red Handbag Tote features cutout collage pictures of the Amos & Andy/Mammy Blackface kids of yesteryear, symbols of oppression, racism and slavery.
InvestorPal-of-200-Racism-Tote-Handbags, (which donate a percentage of sales to an AIDS charity) divulged that the Tote-Handbag-Designer had no idea the blackface cartoons were symbols of racism and it was a total Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm Moment. One of my Fleet Of Gay Men is stuck owning 200 Racist Designer Handbags and is going to try and sell them to the public. Apparently Muhammed Ali's daughter was given one of the Blackface handbags, which she graciously accepted. I like to think I have a great sense of humor, but I wouldn't be caught dead carrying one of those, especially during my upcoming trip to The South., which is not to say I was offended. I was not offended, but amazed that the designer was unaware that Blackface isn't really acceptable in California and I think the rest of the United States & Canada.
Love The Ukulady
ps: When I lived in Holland in 1995 the department store was selling Carnival costumes advertised as - I can't believe I'm going to write this word: Negro!
pps: And during the same time, McDonalds in Germany was selling Asian-themed McNuggets, which came in a red box featuring a buck-toothed slanty-eyed Ching-Chong-Chinaman.
ppps: I think talking about racism is healthy.
pppps: Heal Britney!
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