BREAKING NEWS: Mitch Stein Files Discrimination Lawsuit!

CARTOON BEARS! By Will Guy of GoopyMart.com For My Bear-BFF, Mitch Stein!

Dear Blob,
Breaking News! Fired-For-Being-Gay BFF, Mitch Stein, filed his lawsuit against homophobic Charter Oak High School of LA County, today! Read all about it here!

While fighting a lawsuit is totally sucky, it's, unfortunately necessary in this ridiculous civilization we have been born into. Disappointingly, Humans have complicated every aspect of daily life by inventing dozens of ways to simplify daily life, which actually has unsimplified life.

The hot scoop from the plumply kissable lips of Mitch Stein is that he truly did not want to file a lawsuit. He wanted Unicorn Magic to happen (don't we all!). However, Charter Oak High School does not believe in either Unicorn Magic, Sit-Down Communication or Equal Rights for All.

The hypocrites (Christian Right) make me feel throat-barfy throwing around sentences like "We are protecting the Children" and other drivel. The question is Why is Mitch's daughter, Devynn, a second-class citizen? Why can't Devynn's dad be a coach like the straight parents of her pals?

Essentially the Christian Right is saying Gays and Lesbians are not Equal Human Beings. How can we be in 2012 and still have small-minded idiots running the world? How can any human with a brain actually believe in the old-bible God? Particularly a God who Hates the Peeps who throw the Best Parties, look the cutest and create almost-All of the Entertainment of Planet Earth?

Why are Bible-Thumpers so obsessed with what other adults are doing in the bedroom? I, personally, am obsessed with the Donner Party and Pioneers. This is a healthy obsession...making maple syrup from sap, covered wagons and cannibalism; Evangelical's obsession over cooters, booty and weiners is un-evolved. My advice to the Evangelicals is Get a New Obsession (not shopping). Try gardening! UFO research! Crafting Felt Owls out of used sweaters!

Go Mitch Stein and may we all Raise a Glass To The Downfall of Evil!

Love The Ukulady
ps: Aside from being lawsuit-filing upset, Mitch is also bummed about the unflattering photo chosen by the Glendora Patch. He does look...puffy, in the photo. Friendsies, since that fatty-photo moment, Mitch has lost over 40 pounds with exercise and eating well! Girl, you are Fierce! Bring it on!
pps: How awesome is the word Drivel? Love it!

Fired-For-Being-Gay, BFF, Mitch Stein, Speaks Out!

Dear Blob,
Fired-For-Being-Gay BFF, Mitch Stein, speaks about homophobia, discrimination & honesty at Citrus Community College:



Love The Ukulady
ps: Sound quality gets much better about 30 seconds in....

Fired for Posing with Corndog vs. Public Heroin-Use & Tasty Kakes!

Dear Blob,
While Fired-For-Being-Gay BFF, Mitch Stein's pro-bono lawyer gathers the paperwork to serve the Charter Oak High School District for discrimination, more interesting media stories are emerging, like the basil seedlings I planted a few weeks ago.

My basil seedlets, peeking out of the dirt, are covered in weird black-tar-like meep from odd mushroom spores, which have also emerged from the earth, making the usually-tantalizing basil, creepy and disturbing, just like this recent story in the San Gabriel Tribune: Click Here!

The San Gabriel Tribune reports that an Azusa teacher was (merely) placed on leave after posting on Facebook (quote!), "For the next 40 days I will be giving up heroin - in all its forms" as well as celebrating underage drinking in Europe.

Announcing to Facebook that you are Lenting-it-Up with your Heroin use and the school district only Puts you on Leave?! And Mitch was Fired for posing with a Corndog & some Drag Queens? The glaring homophobia shines as bright as sequin glitter-sparkles favored by drag queens, 5 year old girls and pagaent enthusiasts.

The black mushroom tar-substance of the story is thickening! Just like pudding!

Speaking of pudding, I enjoyed my first Philadelphia Tasty Kake yesterday, courtesy of my new favorite HilariousGayComic, Jackie Jones, a Philly native, who also educated us on the Best Philly Steak, found, not in Philly, but in Atlantic City, New Jersey! The Joy of Learning!

There is more exciting pudding-plot thickening going on with Fired-For-Being-Gay BFF, Mitch, but I'm not allowed to blob about it yet.... Stay tuned...

Love The Ukulady

ps: Tasty Kake, peanut butter flavor, was delicious; way better than any Hostess or Little Debbie product.

pps: I just went to the Tasty Kake website and they have a product called Krimpets! Meeep!

UkuAdventures in LA: The Horror of the LA County Fair & Fired-For-Being-Gay Mitch Update!

PHOTOS: Wiggle Wurm, Giant Pumpkin, Man's Neck



Dear Blob,
I made the mistake of going to the LA County Fair yesterday. It was dollar-day and Fired-For-Being-Gay BFF Mitch, his daughter Devynn and the Ukulad, were up for the event.

I love county fairs, being surrounded by cordog stands and shiny, bright rides, even though I don't enjoy riding; however the LA County Fair is like the Far Side Hell version of the Fair.

Several years ago I wrote this song about the LA County Fair; perhaps I thought it had changed, but it is still a Vortex of the Worst of Humanity, including:

1. Whore Mommies: These are tarted-up mommies (usually very young), in super-high-heels and skimpy, skin-tight outfits, pushing strollers. Who goes to the Fair in stilettos? Perhaps they have robot-feet.

2. Extreme Pouches: Like Extreme Sports, Extreme Pouches are tummy pouches taken to the next level. LA County Fair patrons, when not in Whore Mommy outfits, are clad in what Tina Fey calls Mom Jeans, I call them Pouch Pants: usually plus-sized humans in thick, tight jeans, waistbanded just under the bosom, cinched tight at the upper waist (located above the belly button), with ballooning pouches sheathed in denim above and below the belt, causing the Extreme Pouch People to resemble gigantic 8's.

3. Babies drinking Slurpees, Sodas & eating French Fries.

4. Mullets, cameltoes, gluttony, consumerism, heat-exhaustion medicated with softee-serve.

6. Family abuse. This was the tipping point of Awfulness. I made the huge mistake of standing in a 30 minute line for a corndog, when I saw an adult man punch a pre-teen boy, who seemed to be his stepson. The mother stood by, snacking on her fried-stick, 2 smaller boys, resembling the adult man, ignored the violence and continued munching fried stix, probably relieved they were not the target.

It was horrible and horrifying and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to give the punched kid a card for a family-abuse hotline/non-profit; I wanted to yell at the mother to protect her kids and notify authorities of the abuse. However, surrounded by thousands of people, flashing ride-lights and carnies hawking, there wasn't much I could do. The father was the kind of guy who would probably punch me if I said anything.

I wanted to take photos of all the incredibly horrible Outfit No's, but instead, I took a picture with my Cameraheart.

Why is the LA County Fair worse than other fairs? It could be the 15 million Angelinos, disconnected to nature and community, unaccustomed to looking strangers in the eyeballs and de-programmed from saying hello on the street. A sea of sweating humans gorging on shiny-tan-foods in checkered baskets made from trees, soon to be landfill.

We marveled at the amount of money coming in; Mitch estimated one carnie stand was bringing in $40 every 5 minutes.

The best part of the fair is the convention hall of plants and tacky National Park displays with paper-mache wolves 'n' bears.

The Ukulad: They tore up real nature to construct fake nature.

Humans flocked to the cool halls of green chlorophyll and kids happily frolicked on a man-made tree-laden hill with dioramas of fake animals mixed with real animals in glass cases. The Angeles Mountains were clear in the distance, the smog of LA joyously blown away. I longed to be in the mountains, but at the same time my eyeballs enjoyed the rainbow sparkles of the carnival rides and portable candy-snack-shacks.

Positive LA County Fair highlights included the table-setting competition, the quilts and looking at old baked goods in competition display cabinets.

Love The Ukulady

ps: Update from Fired-For-Being-Gay Mitch: The school district refuses to make a statement and has downgraded his facebook photos from Obscene to Inappropriate. The parents of the water-polo players have made Team Stein tee-shirts and all the players cheered when Mitch appeared on the pool deck, cooler of water and oranges in hand, to cheer on the team.

The homophobic principal announced she would make appear at a water-polo-parent meeting and make a statement, but she was a no-show. Several other high schools have offered coaching jobs to Mitch, but he turned them down, as the point of coaching was to spend time with his daughter. Devynn loves high school. Stay tuned for more.... Newspaper articles should be out soon....

pps: During the Pig Races, I sat behind a man with the most extraordinary crinkly-neck: see photo.