Dear Blob,
Fired-For-Being-Gay BFF, Mitch Stein, speaks about homophobia, discrimination & honesty at Citrus Community College:
Love The Ukulady
ps: Sound quality gets much better about 30 seconds in....
Showing posts with label ukalady blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ukalady blog. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
We Go Together!
Dear Blob,
I am a Valentine & Nature Enthusiast! This song was written in Barra De Navidad, Mexico and videoed in Joshua Tree, CA.
Love The Ukulady
I am a Valentine & Nature Enthusiast! This song was written in Barra De Navidad, Mexico and videoed in Joshua Tree, CA.
Love The Ukulady
Thursday, September 15, 2011
10 Pleasing Word Combos: Day 3
Dear Blob,
10 Pleasing Thoughts 'n' Word Combos:
1. The Trip-Trapping of the Von Trapp children...
2. Kim Jong Ill: When you are feeling sickly-despotic/manical; use: "I'm feeling really Kim Jon Ill! I Rule the Universe!"
3. Tidbit Quibble: "Stop Tidbit Quibbling! Todd gets the crumb, Velva gets the morsel!"
4. Flesh Vest & Flesh Cuffs: Kim Jong Il wore a Double-breasted Flesh Vest with Flesh Cuffs.
5. Pillogne: Pillowy Bologne
6. Muffin Man vs. Muscle Man
7. Ukuladian Geometry
8. Temps eating Tempeh in Tempe, Az.
9. Stage Parents vs. Stage Peanuts
10: Organic Ice: "This ice is organic...."
Love The Ukulady
ps: 10.5. Ricotta Frittata on Cibatta!
Monday, September 12, 2011
10 Pleasing Thoughts: Day 1
Dear Blob,
10 Pleasing Thoughts: Verbally or Visually
1. Minions with Bunions: The Egyptian slaves, hauling all those stone blocks....
2. Excellence Day
3. Fashion Model Fish
4. Spungry: Spunky & Hungry
5. Chartreuse: a girl's name
6. Ganhdi: I put the Fist in Pacifist!
7. She-Whistle vs. He-Whistle
8. Baby-Steps vs. Booby-Traps
9. Christ-Krispies: a Cereal for the Devout
10. Knee Caps: Hats for Knees
Love The Ukulady
ps: Squid Square
Saturday, September 10, 2011
UkuAdventures: Resignation Mired in Capitalism!
Dear Blob,
1. Waiting Rooms are a Vortex of Hell. This week I was forced to watch Gluttony TV in a medical Waiting Room. The only redemption was the fact that I am not actually in a cinematic Far-Sideish Hell and I didn't have to stay there forever.
2. Gluttony TV: Man vs. Food the Television Show is an exceptional example of Humanity at its Worst. If I was an alien mother and my alien child wanted to take the spacecraft to cruise Planet Earth, I would show my alien child an episode of that television show in hopes of deterring his journey.
Yet, the gluttonous part of me enjoys the enormous melty-cheese-heavy foods consumed by the host and I'm interesting in visiting the Giant Food Eateries featured. However by the end of the show, when the host, sweating melted-cheese and MSG, stuffs the last of a 5 pound cheeseburger into his pie-hole, I'm repelled by the Celebration of Gluttony and disappointed, once again, in American Television's Promotion of Excess.
These are times, not of Unawareness of the Dark Side, of which Gluttony is part of, but Resignation mired in Capitalism. "Shrug, sigh, oh well, the '60's movement didn't work; there's a serious water problem, toxic-waste everywhere, politicians have learned nothing from the last 1000 years, human genes will either mutate & get with the program or die-off, so I may as well make some money so I can afford to live in a non-polluted part of planet earth....Mmmm, French Fries..."
When Greed & Narcissism, which seem ingrained in human genetics, are bred out of humans, my pretend Alien Mother will allow my pretend Alien child to visit Planet Earth.
Love The Ukulady
ps: My pal's psychic step-mother (take it in) says that when Planet Earth has catastrophic toxic events occur, like Fukushima, there is a rise in UFO sightenings because radiation affects ET's and the Universe... Time to Celebrate Life Today!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
UkuCrafting Fever!
Dear Blob,
Will someone please invent an awesome hot glue gun? Hot Glue Gun technology is seriously stuck in the sixties.
Love The Ukulady
Will someone please invent an awesome hot glue gun? Hot Glue Gun technology is seriously stuck in the sixties.
Love The Ukulady
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
UkuAdventures in LA: Monster Truck Hits The Ukulady!
PHOTOS: Ukulady, Phil Proctor of Firesign Theater & Evil Strawberry Sandwich!
Dear Blob,
I started my day calling 911 and ended my day with doughnut crumbs in my hair. An unbelievable 10 hours.
After an early am hour in excruciating lady-pain, moaning on the couch, thinking of the pioneers, clutching my pouch and awaiting ibuprofen to kick in, which it did, I embarked on an excursion to my voiceover agency in Studio City.
My car was fresh with 2 new tires and an alignment after the flat tire on the 405 incident 2 days ago. I and Zippy Cupcake entered the hell of the 405 North at morning rush hour. I turned on my indicator, checked my mirrors, noticed a monster truck in the next lane, behind me, with plenty of room to merge. I began to change lanes and was shocked when the monster truck hit me smack on the back of my car. I pulled to the side of the 405 for the second time in 3 days and surprisingly, another small silver car also pulled over. Apparently the monster truck hit both of us and oddly, in the exact same place. She had been behind me, merging as well and he clearly did not see either of us. My theory is his truck was too high and our cars are low to the ground.
It was ridiculous being in the shoulder of the 405 twice in 3 days. The truck driver became defensive and schmucky, yelling at me and the other girl in the small car that we had run into him. It was an odd moment, deciding to call 911; I was unsure whether it was a 911 situation. It was an emergency but not life-threatening; there should be another number for Sort-Of-Emergencies; Non life-threatening emergencies.
The coppers arrived and we were ordered back in our cars while they did their police business. Awaiting the cops for my story-version, there was another fender bender right next to us. It was surreal, watching and hearing their crunching crash and I felt somewhat jealous of them because their accident situation was not going to involve waiting for cops, as they were already right there with our accident. We could have had an accident party and networked!
Police report done, car inspected, it appeared I could drive on to my audition. I pulled on to the freeway and got up to about 50 mph, when I heard beeping and a white car pulled up alongside me, frantically waving for to get off the freeway. Thank meep I did, because the white car turned out to be a AAA technician who noticed my back tire, where the Monster Truck hit it, wobbling and about to come off!
My new BFF, Daniel, the AAA Technician from El Salvador, saved my life! Chatting with him as we awaited Alphie and his tow truck, I felt like I was in the movie Crash. Daniel and I discussed God, The Universe, Death, Nature & Pupusas. I got to know about Daniel's absent father and his pre-school teacher wife, whom he brought from El Salvador. He knew my voiceover work from The Sims and Silent Hill and we talked about having children. It was a cinematic meeting and I hugged him farewell when Alphie arrived.
Alphie, a recent UCLA microbiology graduate, inspected my car, declared my axel bent and towed my car to Jessy the Mechanic.
Along the way, Alphie told me a riveting story of his college buddies who were recently beaten by SF Cops and had captured it on video! One of the beaten kids's father is a Bel Air Lawyer/DA. Bad kid for the police to beat up. Alphie also revealed he'd towed Jay Leno's car and Pierce Bronsnan's, who startled Alphie with his extraordinary in-real-life-beauty, even though Alphie is not gay. It was the best AAA experience possible.
Jessy the Mechanic was awesome, insurance-reporting was smooth and Dayton at Hertz was hilarious. Five hours after I left the Marshmallow, I arrived at my agency where I pretended to be cartoon flamingo twins. I hope I book the parts.
I arrived home to Jessica for band rehearsal and collapsed, my body depleted of energy from the adrenalin.
Somehow I revived by 7 to play dress-up and perform songs at a variety show for an audience of Phil Proctor of Firesign Theater and other oddball artists. I wore my pioneer bonnet for a rendition of Campfire Vampire. After the show, Jessica bought us doughnuts, reminiscent of our Churro Times in Mexico.
I returned the the Marshmallow and wearing my doughnut pants, covered in glaze and powdered sugar, considered my day; it was unexpected, but the smoothest, most pleasant car-garbagecrap day/experience/event possible, thanks to Daniel, Alphie & Jessy. They made me want to be a AAA Technician, the Modern Hero.
Love The Ukulady
ps: Lately I've been wanting to do every job I've been around: Elvis Impersonator, AAA Techie, Mechanic, Accordion Player....
pps: Everyone's LA Car-Crap Card comes up at some point. May the past 4 days last me many years to come.
Dear Blob,
I started my day calling 911 and ended my day with doughnut crumbs in my hair. An unbelievable 10 hours.
After an early am hour in excruciating lady-pain, moaning on the couch, thinking of the pioneers, clutching my pouch and awaiting ibuprofen to kick in, which it did, I embarked on an excursion to my voiceover agency in Studio City.
My car was fresh with 2 new tires and an alignment after the flat tire on the 405 incident 2 days ago. I and Zippy Cupcake entered the hell of the 405 North at morning rush hour. I turned on my indicator, checked my mirrors, noticed a monster truck in the next lane, behind me, with plenty of room to merge. I began to change lanes and was shocked when the monster truck hit me smack on the back of my car. I pulled to the side of the 405 for the second time in 3 days and surprisingly, another small silver car also pulled over. Apparently the monster truck hit both of us and oddly, in the exact same place. She had been behind me, merging as well and he clearly did not see either of us. My theory is his truck was too high and our cars are low to the ground.
It was ridiculous being in the shoulder of the 405 twice in 3 days. The truck driver became defensive and schmucky, yelling at me and the other girl in the small car that we had run into him. It was an odd moment, deciding to call 911; I was unsure whether it was a 911 situation. It was an emergency but not life-threatening; there should be another number for Sort-Of-Emergencies; Non life-threatening emergencies.
The coppers arrived and we were ordered back in our cars while they did their police business. Awaiting the cops for my story-version, there was another fender bender right next to us. It was surreal, watching and hearing their crunching crash and I felt somewhat jealous of them because their accident situation was not going to involve waiting for cops, as they were already right there with our accident. We could have had an accident party and networked!
Police report done, car inspected, it appeared I could drive on to my audition. I pulled on to the freeway and got up to about 50 mph, when I heard beeping and a white car pulled up alongside me, frantically waving for to get off the freeway. Thank meep I did, because the white car turned out to be a AAA technician who noticed my back tire, where the Monster Truck hit it, wobbling and about to come off!
My new BFF, Daniel, the AAA Technician from El Salvador, saved my life! Chatting with him as we awaited Alphie and his tow truck, I felt like I was in the movie Crash. Daniel and I discussed God, The Universe, Death, Nature & Pupusas. I got to know about Daniel's absent father and his pre-school teacher wife, whom he brought from El Salvador. He knew my voiceover work from The Sims and Silent Hill and we talked about having children. It was a cinematic meeting and I hugged him farewell when Alphie arrived.
Alphie, a recent UCLA microbiology graduate, inspected my car, declared my axel bent and towed my car to Jessy the Mechanic.
Along the way, Alphie told me a riveting story of his college buddies who were recently beaten by SF Cops and had captured it on video! One of the beaten kids's father is a Bel Air Lawyer/DA. Bad kid for the police to beat up. Alphie also revealed he'd towed Jay Leno's car and Pierce Bronsnan's, who startled Alphie with his extraordinary in-real-life-beauty, even though Alphie is not gay. It was the best AAA experience possible.
Jessy the Mechanic was awesome, insurance-reporting was smooth and Dayton at Hertz was hilarious. Five hours after I left the Marshmallow, I arrived at my agency where I pretended to be cartoon flamingo twins. I hope I book the parts.
I arrived home to Jessica for band rehearsal and collapsed, my body depleted of energy from the adrenalin.
Somehow I revived by 7 to play dress-up and perform songs at a variety show for an audience of Phil Proctor of Firesign Theater and other oddball artists. I wore my pioneer bonnet for a rendition of Campfire Vampire. After the show, Jessica bought us doughnuts, reminiscent of our Churro Times in Mexico.
I returned the the Marshmallow and wearing my doughnut pants, covered in glaze and powdered sugar, considered my day; it was unexpected, but the smoothest, most pleasant car-garbagecrap day/experience/event possible, thanks to Daniel, Alphie & Jessy. They made me want to be a AAA Technician, the Modern Hero.
Love The Ukulady
ps: Lately I've been wanting to do every job I've been around: Elvis Impersonator, AAA Techie, Mechanic, Accordion Player....
pps: Everyone's LA Car-Crap Card comes up at some point. May the past 4 days last me many years to come.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
UkuAdventures in LA: Mycological Meep!
Dear Blob,
Mornings with UkuMommy are for enjoying hot beverages and chatting. Off we go garage saleing! Enjoy this mycological video
Love The Ukulady
ps: Yesterday we found the largest thrift store in LA!
Mornings with UkuMommy are for enjoying hot beverages and chatting. Off we go garage saleing! Enjoy this mycological video
Love The Ukulady
ps: Yesterday we found the largest thrift store in LA!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
UkuAdventures in LA: Meeping in Highland Park
PHOTOS: Garden with Fake Flowers, UkuFamily, Unicorndog & Succulents
Dear Blob,
The other day was Take-Your-Girlfriend-To-Work Day, so I went to Highland Park with the Ukulad to meep around the neighborhood. What a gem of a 'hood, full of hillsides packed with craftsman houses in need of TLC, abuelitas & secret stairwalks. The downside is the hideous smog, which in the summertime, gets trapped inland, making it difficult to see the gorgeous Angeles Mountains. I wandered around the hilly streets, stumbling upon vintage Victorians and sweeping palm-tree-lined boulevards, which reminded me of parts of Oakland, near Lake Merritt.
The gritty main drag, York, is packed full of taco-shops and ridiculous stores, like SoCal Flagpole Supply. Is there a NorCal Flagpole Supply? I'm surprised there's enough of a demand to keep a flagpole supply shop in business; what are the flagpole enthusiasts purchasing once they have their pole and flag? Flagpole polish? Do the Polish polish things?
In other news, there is a street in Mt. Washington/Highland Park called Marmion, which sounds like an animal or a race of people: Look at the Marmions in that tree! The Marmions of Marmia! Marmions are known for their Marmion hospitality and Marmion cheese.
Love The Ukulady
ps: Meeping around Highland Park, I came upon a magical garden, full of colorful, blooming flowers; however, upon further inspection, the yard was actually decorated with fake flowers planted in pots of dirt. My grandma used to plant fake flowers.
pps: Highland Park is full of chickens; not too many chickens in Mar Vista. The Chickens of Highland Park!
Dear Blob,
The other day was Take-Your-Girlfriend-To-Work Day, so I went to Highland Park with the Ukulad to meep around the neighborhood. What a gem of a 'hood, full of hillsides packed with craftsman houses in need of TLC, abuelitas & secret stairwalks. The downside is the hideous smog, which in the summertime, gets trapped inland, making it difficult to see the gorgeous Angeles Mountains. I wandered around the hilly streets, stumbling upon vintage Victorians and sweeping palm-tree-lined boulevards, which reminded me of parts of Oakland, near Lake Merritt.
The gritty main drag, York, is packed full of taco-shops and ridiculous stores, like SoCal Flagpole Supply. Is there a NorCal Flagpole Supply? I'm surprised there's enough of a demand to keep a flagpole supply shop in business; what are the flagpole enthusiasts purchasing once they have their pole and flag? Flagpole polish? Do the Polish polish things?
In other news, there is a street in Mt. Washington/Highland Park called Marmion, which sounds like an animal or a race of people: Look at the Marmions in that tree! The Marmions of Marmia! Marmions are known for their Marmion hospitality and Marmion cheese.
Love The Ukulady
ps: Meeping around Highland Park, I came upon a magical garden, full of colorful, blooming flowers; however, upon further inspection, the yard was actually decorated with fake flowers planted in pots of dirt. My grandma used to plant fake flowers.
pps: Highland Park is full of chickens; not too many chickens in Mar Vista. The Chickens of Highland Park!
Monday, August 15, 2011
UkuAdventures in LA: The Crop Circle of Car Stories!
Dear Blob,
This weekend brought the Crop Circle of Car Stories! Due to a morning band photo-shoot, The Ukulad and I, dressed in our matching chicken 'n' egg outfits at 10:30am on Sunday, were outside, when the Lad noticed some schmuck had parked in the driveway belonging to our house; then he realized the car was his!
In the middle of the night his car, in park and with the parking brake on, had been pushed roughly 10 feet forward. No locks had been tampered with, the back bumper was undamaged and there were skid marks 10 feet, indicating the wheels had been pushed. It was the weirdest thing. Either a fleet of linebackers were playing a prank, a huge truck pushed the car in hopes the driveway-owners would tow it, or a mythical giant pushed it for fun.
We are mystified, disturbed & concerned. But not too much; we are mostly thrilled around here, beautifying our yard, planting basil, arugula & weeding constantly-overgrowing morning-glories.
In other news, I love Home Depot because it is so full of Potential: Make a New kitchen! Plant a pretty garden! Build a house! Home Depot shoppers appear so empowered and confident, comparing drills & purchasing do-it-yourself items.
Sunday is totally Couples-Day at Home Depot but every other day is a great day for single ladies to meet men. Forget bars! Home Depot or Guitar Center are the best places to meet fellows. Home Depot is better than Guitar Center, which is full of pale, slacker musicians, where as Home Depot men are go-getters and will fix things around your future house. I'm going to suggest it to my single friends.
Love The Ukulady
ps: If any readers have theories about the Crop-Circle Car story, please share!
pps: The matching Chicken ''n Egg outfits were found at a Salvation Army in Roswell, New Mexico, over 10 years ago. I held on to the outfit, waiting to find a manpanion to fit the shirt. Ukulad fits the shirt and wears it!
ppps: It's so pioneerishly-satisfying to spend the weekend gardening, home-beautifying & cooking handmade cornmeal-crust pizza with handmade sauce from garden-picked tomatoes 'n' basil. Pizza dough is not difficult to make and kneading dough is a pleasing mini-fitness workout.
pppps: The time has come in America, for Home Ec. to return; kids need to learn healthy cooking. This opinion comes after another marathon computer-tv session of watching Heavy, which is riveting & rewarding television. My initial dislike of Beverly Perfect, the health-trainer, is gone and now I wish I could go to South Carolina and work out with Beverly Perfect.
pppps: Read about my UkuAdventures in Echo Park here!
Friday, August 12, 2011
UkuAdventures in LA: Brain-Chips, Pioneers & Singing Telegrams!
PHOTO: Ukulad-Made Stool & Bookcase!
Dear Blob,
From Egpyt to sociological-weight-loss TV-shows to Pioneers, I require a constant infusion of intellectual stimulation. Like humans snack on chips between meals, my brain snacks on books between working. This week's Chips-For-The-Brain has been Pioneer women literature, purchased in last weekend's comically-large used booksale. Riveting! While Pioneer Women made Pioneer Men feel well-fed, sexually-satisfied & homey, Pioneer Women make me feel:
1. so physically wimpy.
2. so much better about life-hardships.
These women wrote journals about baking dozens of bread-loafs, washing clothing in water they lugged from the spring & heated themselves, killing a couple prairie chickens, plucking & preparing & then giving birth, all in the same day! And finding time to write in their Blog!
If I have to drive across town in traffic, have multiple friend-like-schmooze-meetings, go to Trader Joe's and jog all in the same day, I am exhausted. Add a yoga class to the mix and I collapse, porcine-like, on a couch that neither I nor the Ukulad made from scratch (although I am currently writing this blob perched upon a cute-stool The Ukulad made from scratch!).
It's odd to realize that the majority of potato-Americans leading sedentary lives, sprung forth from ridiculously physically-fit ancestors only a few generations ago,. If they learned the rules and trained for maybe a week, Pioneer Women could easily beat professional lady wrestlers.
I would love to see Jill Michaels go up against Elinore Stewart, a Wyoming homesteader who not only raised cellarfuls of root vegetables but also herded cattle, performed weddings 'n' funerals, thought nothing of taking her young daughter camping in the snow, cooked for dozens with food she grew, birthed kids, midwifed and wrote a bookful of eloquent letters to her Denver friends, describing her life. She had no Korea Spa to rejuvinate in.
In other news, The Ukulad honored the life of the dead lead singer from Warrant this morning by playing '80's hair-metal-band music. I am partial to the power-ballads.
Love The Ukulady
ps: I, like the rest of America, spend most of my energy on making money or scheming to make money, which buys me food, a home & other life-necessities. The Pioneers spent their energy on creating what they needed themselves. It would be ideal if our civilization found a balance of the two: self-sufficiency mixed with money-making self-sufficiency.
It seems my generation, formerly the Gen-Xers, now the 30's/40's peeps, are striving towards that goal. Many peers have food gardens & chickens; however is this trend only happening in the urban centers, where books like The Omnivore's Dilemma, circulate like "Hot Models Needed to Circulate at Hollywood Events"? That's a posting from a typical LA craigslist job listing.
pps: The Ukulady now offers Singing Telegrams! If you are not in the greater-SoCal, USA area, The Ukulady offers Telephone Singing Telegrams! Tell that Special Meep You Are Special! Ukulady style! Contact meep to get started!
Dear Blob,
From Egpyt to sociological-weight-loss TV-shows to Pioneers, I require a constant infusion of intellectual stimulation. Like humans snack on chips between meals, my brain snacks on books between working. This week's Chips-For-The-Brain has been Pioneer women literature, purchased in last weekend's comically-large used booksale. Riveting! While Pioneer Women made Pioneer Men feel well-fed, sexually-satisfied & homey, Pioneer Women make me feel:
1. so physically wimpy.
2. so much better about life-hardships.
These women wrote journals about baking dozens of bread-loafs, washing clothing in water they lugged from the spring & heated themselves, killing a couple prairie chickens, plucking & preparing & then giving birth, all in the same day! And finding time to write in their Blog!
If I have to drive across town in traffic, have multiple friend-like-schmooze-meetings, go to Trader Joe's and jog all in the same day, I am exhausted. Add a yoga class to the mix and I collapse, porcine-like, on a couch that neither I nor the Ukulad made from scratch (although I am currently writing this blob perched upon a cute-stool The Ukulad made from scratch!).
It's odd to realize that the majority of potato-Americans leading sedentary lives, sprung forth from ridiculously physically-fit ancestors only a few generations ago,. If they learned the rules and trained for maybe a week, Pioneer Women could easily beat professional lady wrestlers.
I would love to see Jill Michaels go up against Elinore Stewart, a Wyoming homesteader who not only raised cellarfuls of root vegetables but also herded cattle, performed weddings 'n' funerals, thought nothing of taking her young daughter camping in the snow, cooked for dozens with food she grew, birthed kids, midwifed and wrote a bookful of eloquent letters to her Denver friends, describing her life. She had no Korea Spa to rejuvinate in.
In other news, The Ukulad honored the life of the dead lead singer from Warrant this morning by playing '80's hair-metal-band music. I am partial to the power-ballads.
Love The Ukulady
ps: I, like the rest of America, spend most of my energy on making money or scheming to make money, which buys me food, a home & other life-necessities. The Pioneers spent their energy on creating what they needed themselves. It would be ideal if our civilization found a balance of the two: self-sufficiency mixed with money-making self-sufficiency.
It seems my generation, formerly the Gen-Xers, now the 30's/40's peeps, are striving towards that goal. Many peers have food gardens & chickens; however is this trend only happening in the urban centers, where books like The Omnivore's Dilemma, circulate like "Hot Models Needed to Circulate at Hollywood Events"? That's a posting from a typical LA craigslist job listing.
pps: The Ukulady now offers Singing Telegrams! If you are not in the greater-SoCal, USA area, The Ukulady offers Telephone Singing Telegrams! Tell that Special Meep You Are Special! Ukulady style! Contact meep to get started!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
UkuAdventures in LA: Imagine if Gandhi ran ABC/Disney...
PHOTOS: New Zoo Review, X the Owl, Woodsy the Owl!
Dear Blob,
My Egyptology obsession has passed and now I'm obsessed with A&E's show Heavy. I made the Lad watch 3 episodes last night, a computer-tv record for me, as I usually fall asleep after thirty minutes. I love shows about people overcoming physical & mental challenges, particularly weight-loss shows. It gives me hope for humanity.
I love the positivity and inspiration of weight-loss reality-shows, lacking in most reality shows which glorify backstabbing, betrayal & overall sleazy-douchebaggery. I occasionally enjoy gawking-oddity reality shows about conjoined twins or 19 chilun', but can't watch more than one episode. I was intrigued by The 19 chilun' religious-nut show and Toddler's & Tiaras, but both made me angry & repulsed. A recent viewing of a conjoined twin documentary left me feeling overwhelmingly thankful that I don't have a conjoined twin and gave me nightmares.
A&E's Heavy is riveting and this morning I googled the cast members, informing The Lad that I am thinking of Liking some of my favorites, like Rickywayne, on Facebook.... I Facebook-Like Ruby, a former 700 pound, deeply charismatic & hilarious reality-show star, keeping up-to-date on her lifelong weight-loss journey.
Media is humanity's most powerful tool. When Jessaly was in Mexico, we decided Mexico desperately needs an anti-littering media campaign, featuring an enigmatic, lovable mascot. I grew up with Give a Hoot, Don't Pollute, vaguely recalled by The Lad, although he didn't remember Woodsy the Owl, who pops into my mind upon hearing the slogan, which conjures vague recollections of a ballerina Hippopotamus and turtle-necked Frog, who were actually part of the New Zoo Review. My childhood television-watching-memories are a hazy blend of happy, googly-eyed creature-friends singing and dancing... A lot of Owls; Mister Roger's featured an Owl friend as well.
Humans love to feel better about themselves by watching trainwrecks on television and there is certainly a time & place for garbage TV, but it's upsetting & disappointing that the majority of television offerings are an enormous waste of resources. American Movies are worse, wasting ridiculous amounts of money, time & human-energy on utter-crap and worse, brainwashing millions of impressionable teens, shamelessly encouraging them to, not only indulge in, but celebrate materialism, greed & narcissism.
I am in LA to work in Media for the Non-Dark-Side. TV is an incredible tool for the Downfall of Evil. It's time to shift Control of the Media. Imagine if Do-Gooders like Gandhi, MLK & Mother Theresa, (or undead ones) were in control of ABC/Disney! If Donald Trump's media presence was replaced by Thich Nhat Hanh! That's my version of John Lennon's Imagine.
Love The Ukulady
ps: I am pleased that blob-writing made me realize I don't just enjoy shows about losing weight because I'm concern-obsessed with obesity.
pps: I like to exercise along with the Heavy Contestants, even at midnight.
Dear Blob,
My Egyptology obsession has passed and now I'm obsessed with A&E's show Heavy. I made the Lad watch 3 episodes last night, a computer-tv record for me, as I usually fall asleep after thirty minutes. I love shows about people overcoming physical & mental challenges, particularly weight-loss shows. It gives me hope for humanity.
I love the positivity and inspiration of weight-loss reality-shows, lacking in most reality shows which glorify backstabbing, betrayal & overall sleazy-douchebaggery. I occasionally enjoy gawking-oddity reality shows about conjoined twins or 19 chilun', but can't watch more than one episode. I was intrigued by The 19 chilun' religious-nut show and Toddler's & Tiaras, but both made me angry & repulsed. A recent viewing of a conjoined twin documentary left me feeling overwhelmingly thankful that I don't have a conjoined twin and gave me nightmares.
A&E's Heavy is riveting and this morning I googled the cast members, informing The Lad that I am thinking of Liking some of my favorites, like Rickywayne, on Facebook.... I Facebook-Like Ruby, a former 700 pound, deeply charismatic & hilarious reality-show star, keeping up-to-date on her lifelong weight-loss journey.
Media is humanity's most powerful tool. When Jessaly was in Mexico, we decided Mexico desperately needs an anti-littering media campaign, featuring an enigmatic, lovable mascot. I grew up with Give a Hoot, Don't Pollute, vaguely recalled by The Lad, although he didn't remember Woodsy the Owl, who pops into my mind upon hearing the slogan, which conjures vague recollections of a ballerina Hippopotamus and turtle-necked Frog, who were actually part of the New Zoo Review. My childhood television-watching-memories are a hazy blend of happy, googly-eyed creature-friends singing and dancing... A lot of Owls; Mister Roger's featured an Owl friend as well.
Humans love to feel better about themselves by watching trainwrecks on television and there is certainly a time & place for garbage TV, but it's upsetting & disappointing that the majority of television offerings are an enormous waste of resources. American Movies are worse, wasting ridiculous amounts of money, time & human-energy on utter-crap and worse, brainwashing millions of impressionable teens, shamelessly encouraging them to, not only indulge in, but celebrate materialism, greed & narcissism.
I am in LA to work in Media for the Non-Dark-Side. TV is an incredible tool for the Downfall of Evil. It's time to shift Control of the Media. Imagine if Do-Gooders like Gandhi, MLK & Mother Theresa, (or undead ones) were in control of ABC/Disney! If Donald Trump's media presence was replaced by Thich Nhat Hanh! That's my version of John Lennon's Imagine.
Love The Ukulady
ps: I am pleased that blob-writing made me realize I don't just enjoy shows about losing weight because I'm concern-obsessed with obesity.
pps: I like to exercise along with the Heavy Contestants, even at midnight.
Friday, August 5, 2011
UkuAdventures in LA: King Tut, City-Wide Healing Circles and Lobster
PHOTO: Astrid Strudelman, The Unicorn Whisperer
Dear Blob,
I've become newly obsessed with Egyptology. Last Sunday, I found an intriguing-looking book in a Free Box; Ukulad calls it a Pee Box. The books were slightly dew-damp, mostly discarded plays of a disillusioned former-actor and 1 book on my new friend, King Tut.
Reading Rules! It's so exciting to learn why, how, where, when, what, particularly about iconic topics. I had no idea Tut's assumed pharaoh-father was a religious visionary, parting from thousands of years of Egyptian polytheism to start his own monotheistic sun-worshipping religion. He built his own royal city and shirked all usual pharaoh-duties, like sacking Libya, Nubia and Turkey, letting Egypt fall into disarray.
When Tut's pop died, the court-officials swept Tut and his half-sister, now wife, (eww!) back to the traditional royal city of Thebes, where poor Tut was a puppet of a scheming old dude named Aye, who possibly murdered Tut, married his young wife and became the Pharaoh. Riveting! Drama! It's just like Dallas & Falcon Crest! Humans haven't changed in thousands of years; we are still power-hungry, greedy narcissists. Donald Trump 'n' Paris Hilton would fit in perfectly at Egyptian court.
In other news shifting cultures is challenging on the body. Returning from 5 weeks in Mexico has been draining my energy in a quiet way. Landing in Mexico was dramatic, as everything in Mexican culture is, with extreme dehydration and heat-lethargy saying, "Yo Meep! Rest all day, Meep all night!"
I didn't expect physical-challenges in returning to my busy-bee LA life, but on the contrary there is a quiet, but persistent drain of energy as my senses recalibrate to being surrounded by millions of people, cars, sounds & the ever-present freelancer-make-money pressure-party. Everyone in LA needs to go to some sort of giant healing-energy circle where we all hold hands and look each other in the eyeball and learn to communicate non-passive-aggressively.
Today's "Odd" News, I call it ridic: Tibetan Buddhist Monks purchased 600 delicious New England lobsters and setting them free (the news article doesn't call the lobsters delicious). What a waste of time, money and energy, particularly when there are famine reports on the front page and starving children right in the Boston area who probably would benefit from a delicious 'n' decadent lobster dinner. I'm totally into Buddhist monks, but this story makes them look like schmucks.
Love The Ukulady
ps: The Tibetan anti-lobster-dinner monks should come to LA and conduct the City-Wide Friendship-Healing-Circles.
pps: There will be no traffic that day!
Dear Blob,
I've become newly obsessed with Egyptology. Last Sunday, I found an intriguing-looking book in a Free Box; Ukulad calls it a Pee Box. The books were slightly dew-damp, mostly discarded plays of a disillusioned former-actor and 1 book on my new friend, King Tut.
Reading Rules! It's so exciting to learn why, how, where, when, what, particularly about iconic topics. I had no idea Tut's assumed pharaoh-father was a religious visionary, parting from thousands of years of Egyptian polytheism to start his own monotheistic sun-worshipping religion. He built his own royal city and shirked all usual pharaoh-duties, like sacking Libya, Nubia and Turkey, letting Egypt fall into disarray.
When Tut's pop died, the court-officials swept Tut and his half-sister, now wife, (eww!) back to the traditional royal city of Thebes, where poor Tut was a puppet of a scheming old dude named Aye, who possibly murdered Tut, married his young wife and became the Pharaoh. Riveting! Drama! It's just like Dallas & Falcon Crest! Humans haven't changed in thousands of years; we are still power-hungry, greedy narcissists. Donald Trump 'n' Paris Hilton would fit in perfectly at Egyptian court.
In other news shifting cultures is challenging on the body. Returning from 5 weeks in Mexico has been draining my energy in a quiet way. Landing in Mexico was dramatic, as everything in Mexican culture is, with extreme dehydration and heat-lethargy saying, "Yo Meep! Rest all day, Meep all night!"
I didn't expect physical-challenges in returning to my busy-bee LA life, but on the contrary there is a quiet, but persistent drain of energy as my senses recalibrate to being surrounded by millions of people, cars, sounds & the ever-present freelancer-make-money pressure-party. Everyone in LA needs to go to some sort of giant healing-energy circle where we all hold hands and look each other in the eyeball and learn to communicate non-passive-aggressively.
Today's "Odd" News, I call it ridic: Tibetan Buddhist Monks purchased 600 delicious New England lobsters and setting them free (the news article doesn't call the lobsters delicious). What a waste of time, money and energy, particularly when there are famine reports on the front page and starving children right in the Boston area who probably would benefit from a delicious 'n' decadent lobster dinner. I'm totally into Buddhist monks, but this story makes them look like schmucks.
Love The Ukulady
ps: The Tibetan anti-lobster-dinner monks should come to LA and conduct the City-Wide Friendship-Healing-Circles.
pps: There will be no traffic that day!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
UkuAdventures in LA: Cuddle Therapy, Soba Noodles & Pioneers!
Dear Blob,
Since detoxing in Mexico from the American Media, particularly The News, I find myself much more relaxed and less angry. I'm a Naturally Happy person, often startled to realize I've been whistling unconsciously in line at Trader Joes or giggling in yoga class during Hanuman, also known as The Spilts. However, nothing makes me not whistle like Hypocrisy in Religion and Politics.
It's certainly important to be aware of what our government is spending the non-rich's money on, but at this juncture it's pointless to listen to NPR's political updates. Washington politics is like Junior High; Politicians are the puppets of the Corporations, like JV Cheerleaders are Varsity's puppets; the American public is the helpless student body and I'm in the nerdy theater-debate AV club. I'm over it.
The only good thing about the News are tidbit gems like this one: Cuddle Therapy for Gay Men by "Formerly-Gay" Men. Ha - Gay men being cuddled to Straight by Closeted-Gay Men. It costs a shocking $650! As the article says, toddle on down to your nearest bathhouse, in the UkuHousehold, that's 1/2 block away at Roman Holiday, and enjoy Cuddle Therapy for much cheaper.
I yearn for a world where people mind their own business and celebrate fellow humans for just being alive and surviving the constant challenges of life. Humans today are so concerned with celebrity cooters, how much sex and what kind of sex other people are having; if half of that energy went towards saying Hi on the street or growing a kitchen-garden everyone would feel a lot better. It would affect the pharmaceutical companies and the religious empires, as their coffers would no doubt, dwindle, as human's natural joy increased. It seems like a no-brainer. It's obvious, yet humans can't seem to do it. No wonder Aliens have no interest in our planet. We are boringly unevolved.
In other news, I cooked a tasty Soba noodle dish tonight with Ahi tuna and Kale! I felt very mature and artisan. The Ukulad has a condition which disallows him to eat garlic, onion, tomato & peppers. It used to be challenging to cook onion/garlic-free, but his meepy adorability is worth giving up chocolate for. Shocking, but true. The Pioneers didn't even have chocolate! Or the Ukulad! (He has Chocolate, but the Pioneers didn't have him). This evening's Soba dish wore a moisture-outfit of lemon 'n' lime juice, accessible from our yard-trees, soy sauce, fresh ginger, sesame oil & the secret magic ingredient, sugar. It was delicious!
Love The Ukulady
ps: I will be bi-weekly blogging about the LA Neighborhoods of Echo Park 'n' Silverlake, focusing on snacks, stairwalks 'n' succulents. Tune in here!
pps: I am totally a celebrity-cooter-news-reader. Everytime I go to the drugstore I head right for trashy magazineland. It's important to know if Lindsey Lohan has been arrested this week or if Brittney is knocked up again yet.
ppps: In audition-waiting-rooms, though, I like to smugly pull out a Harpers or New Yorker.
UkuAdventures in LA: My Gay BFF's!
Dear Blob,
One of the best parts of LA is getting to hang out with my fleet of Gay Men. I'm unsure why I am naturally BFF with virtually every gay man I meet, but generally, I have an insta-connection and am ready to invite every one over for artisan nibblies after 5 minutes. I'm also partial to my gay ladies, BFFing it up within mere moments.
I was confused as to the Bible's vehement dislike of my peeps and an interesting theory from The Ukulad, raised Southern Baptist, brings insight. Generally, all gay men I meet are The Best! They have the best taste, throw the best parties, are the most loyal and wonderful friends; a joy to be around, ready to put on a show, dress-up, socialize, be fabulous but not in a drag-queeny way, in a Enjoy-The-Finest-In-Life way.
I couldn't figure out why the Bible, ridiculously edited hundreds of times, would have such hatred towards the most wonderful race (if it's genetic, which I firmly believe it is, it's a race) of people. They just want to party!
The Ukulad's Theory: The Bible was written in times of consta-warring humans, looting, plundering, murdering, raping everyone indiscriminately. Humans haven't changed too much, we still love to go to war, but hopefully the indiscriminate raping has chilled out.
The Lad thinks the Bible isn't talking about my fabulous friends who can re-organize your furniture and make your house look roomier, lighter & more beautiful in 10 minutes; but the war-mongering rapists who set villages on fire and meeped men, women, animals, anything. The Bible's hypocritical hatred for Gays is meant for the rapists, not the Sassy Gay Friend that everyone needs.
It's human's Hypocrisy that gets me down. I prefer Love to Fear.
Love The Ukulady
ps: I wore a coat and drove 70mph on the freeway yesterday! I am Not in Mexico!
One of the best parts of LA is getting to hang out with my fleet of Gay Men. I'm unsure why I am naturally BFF with virtually every gay man I meet, but generally, I have an insta-connection and am ready to invite every one over for artisan nibblies after 5 minutes. I'm also partial to my gay ladies, BFFing it up within mere moments.
I was confused as to the Bible's vehement dislike of my peeps and an interesting theory from The Ukulad, raised Southern Baptist, brings insight. Generally, all gay men I meet are The Best! They have the best taste, throw the best parties, are the most loyal and wonderful friends; a joy to be around, ready to put on a show, dress-up, socialize, be fabulous but not in a drag-queeny way, in a Enjoy-The-Finest-In-Life way.
I couldn't figure out why the Bible, ridiculously edited hundreds of times, would have such hatred towards the most wonderful race (if it's genetic, which I firmly believe it is, it's a race) of people. They just want to party!
The Ukulad's Theory: The Bible was written in times of consta-warring humans, looting, plundering, murdering, raping everyone indiscriminately. Humans haven't changed too much, we still love to go to war, but hopefully the indiscriminate raping has chilled out.
The Lad thinks the Bible isn't talking about my fabulous friends who can re-organize your furniture and make your house look roomier, lighter & more beautiful in 10 minutes; but the war-mongering rapists who set villages on fire and meeped men, women, animals, anything. The Bible's hypocritical hatred for Gays is meant for the rapists, not the Sassy Gay Friend that everyone needs.
It's human's Hypocrisy that gets me down. I prefer Love to Fear.
Love The Ukulady
ps: I wore a coat and drove 70mph on the freeway yesterday! I am Not in Mexico!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
UkuAdventures in LA: Green Beetles, Sleepwalking & Avocados!
Dear Blob,
I am a lifelong sleepwalker. Memorable sleepwalking moments relayed to me by the Awake include urgently asking, "What are we doing, eating cookies?!" and getting dressed for work at 3am. I sleep fitfully and sleepwalk when in a new location; last night I slept-walk-awoke several times, thinking our Marshmallow Studiohouse was in Mexico, a confusing Wizard-of-Oz-like concept.
I used to live in Gloria Swanson's mansion in Angelino Heights, a historic LA neighborhood of Victorians & Craftsmans. Mansion life was subsidized by my fab roommate with a real job and my now-gone-7-year regular VO job as a gibberish-speaking-expert. The crashing economy and the Joy of Change led The Ukulad and I to our current UkuHome, which we call The Marshmallow, as it's like living inside an Artisan Square Marshmallow. It's like a Weeble House. My reverse-culture-shock is limited to sleep-talking, wondering if we are in Mexico and minor jet-lag, awaking at 6am and passing out at 9pm, regardless of David Cross's hilarity on computerTV.
Why are Artisan Marshmallows always square?
In other news, the Irridescent Green Beetles of LA are in season, whizzing around like cartoon bugs and reminding Angelinos that LA is actually on Planet Earth and Nature is Here; not just man-made nature, but nature Nature.
The Ukulad and I have inherited a food-garden from our awesome landlords/friendsies, who left LA to be Geniuses at MIT. It's exciting to make dinner from snacks plucked from the yard. The Avocado Tree is a couple weeks away from Guacamole-Every-Day, it's branches laden with hundreds of valuable fruitlets. If we were ancient-old-fashioned merchants, we would be rich! I'm curious if I can sell them on the corner.... Will people stop to buy from a white-ish lady? Will I get a ticket? Will I become rich in money, not just avocados? Is it worth hanging out alongside traffic? Will I get sick of Guacomole? These are the important questions!
Love The Ukulady
ps: I've emailed the Mexican Bug Repellent company, YA! questing for their awesome, all-natural-pleasnt-smelling bug-repellent-wipes in America... No return emeep yet, but stay tuned!
pps: Mexico-Nostalgia has set in...
UkuThanks from The Ukulady & The Unicorndog!
Thank You for Being a UkuFriendsie! To Commission Your Very Own Personal Jingle or a Custom Singing Telegram, Click Here!
Monday, August 1, 2011
UkuAdventures in LA: Jean-Slimming, The Eco-Beautiful & Baby Nirvana!
Dear Blob,
As a visit to the American South or Midwest is psychologically slimming, so is a pants-free-swimsuit-heavy journey, quietly shifting one's body perception to a mix of acceptance, realization that every woman, except most in LA, have cellulite/tummy-pouches and just not giving a meep anymore.
Yesterday I dressed in jeans for the first time in 5 weeks and my primary triumphant thought was: "My churro 'n' taco diet made me lose weight!" Then The Ukulady dashed my slimjoy to the Rocks of Comedy-Reality and told me he had stretched all my jeans in my absence to make me feel great upon my return. Then I realized I am not actually trimmer, I just haven't worn jeans in a long time and it's shocking-good news that are not snug after the all-churro diet.
I am very tan and the tan-narcissist who lives within my head asked The Ukulad to comment on it continuously for the next few weeks:
UKULADY: Lad, I want you to admiringly, tell me how tan I am throughout the day.
UKULAD: I'm not going to do that. If you want to hear it, I'll say it once and you can record it and play it whenever you want. I charge non-union voiceover rates.
What an awesome invention: The Virtual Audio-Gal or Manpanion! The size of a tiny pen/mp3 recorder, it comes with a bevy of complimentary phrases like, "You look adorable today!" or "Wow, you're popular!" or "I know you're going to Get That Job/Book That Series-Regular/Get Published in Harpers/New Yorker/Paris Review!"
In other news, Ukulad and I went to the Mar Vista Farmer's Market yesterday and it was a bit irritating to be thrust back into the culture of Eco-Beautiful people. The Eco-Beautiful are mixed with the Plastic-Surgery Enthusiasts, primarily older ladies with the always-repulsive Trout-Lips. I love the opportunity and potential LA provides, but navigating the stunningly-attractive narcissists, clueless & power-hungry is ridiculous. It's kind of like living in on Planet Unicorn.
LA's Eco-Beautiful are so obsessed with their pets that the Farmer's Market has a dog-sitting service. It's ludicrous to take one's dog to the Farmer's Market, to pay someone else to watch it, while one shops for overpriced, organic, hybrid fruit. The treat-your-dog-like-a-baby phenomenon thrives like herpes here in Lalaland as most folks, like me, are shocking-to-the-Mexicans, childless until late 30's/early 40's, ambitiously toiling in the industry-bowels towards our childhood dreams.
A perfect segway to the Children of the Farmer's Market Eco-Beautiful; the American-Child Tantrum was in full display at yesterday's market. There's an Eco-Beautiful-Parenting trend of Reasoning-with-Children:
EXAMPLE:
(Child Flipping out)
MOM: (softly, soothing) Brooklyn, is that behavior a good choice?
(Brooklyn screams louder)
MOM: Brooklyn, I can't understand you when you scream; choose your words. Consider another option.
(Brooklyn flings herself on the Farmer's Market ground and screams louder. Mom, cellulite-free, clad in pricey yoga-ensemble, sighs and shrugs towards her identical mom-friend)
MOM: I think she's allergic to soy.
The kids behavior is usually blamed on food allergies, light autism or ADD. I am adverse to Reasoning-with-Kids. They are instinctual beings with no control over their emotions; I know adults who don't understand what "Consider another option" even means. I saw a Mexican mom in Melaque do the old-fashioned ear-grip 'n' drag of a screaming child. It worked remarkably well and the kid shut up. Stick to the classics, Parents.
In other news, The Ukulad is adverse to eating BBQ in LA. There's a trend of Industry-Burnouts turning to artisan food-production, with delightful and overpriced snack-trucks & treateries everywhere, keeping the over-abundant pilates/yoga studios in business.
UKULAD: I don't want to eat fancy BBQ. I want my BBQ served to me in a cheap-paper-paddle-boat by a toothless person.
It's kind of like me and my snobbery about bagels & lox.
Love The Ukulady
ps: Baby-stores in LA are selling Baby Nirvana Onesies. Ridiculous.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
UkuAdventures in Mexico: Airport, Customs & Kissercise!
PHOTOS: Mexican Heart Plant, Sponch Truck, Cucumbers & Popcorn!
Dear Blob,
The Free Thrill of LA's now-seeming Cool Breeze is incredible! Yesterday I wore a sweatshirt, zipped through US customs with no searches or issues and invented Kissercise. Kissercise is an ab-workout mixed with smooching (the workout-ee does ab.crunches to meet the pucker of the Kissercise partner).
Thessica's journey was shockingly quick and easy, like a fast-teen getting his first bootycall, but unlike the teen's virginity-loss, it was the Best Airport Experience I've ever had, even though every traveler's bags are hand-searched, another similarity to the teens. HB Larry drove us to the airport and we said Adios, Mexico!
Interestingly, Manzanillo's airport has no checked-luggage x-ray machines, but each bag is human-checked by overly-serious workers, amusingly, keeping absolute professionalism and straight faces as they unpack and re-pack satchels of plastic blow-up toys, liquor & swimsuits. Thessica wondered what the most interesting things they'd found are; I said dead bodies; Jessica thought fetish gear.
I was mildly concerned about the few prescription meds I was traveling with. US law says the traveler needs a prescription from a US doctor, which is ridiculous, considering many travelers live in Mexico and have Mexican doctors. I purchased a blood-pressure med for Ukulad's mom; she pays $80 a month; I paid $1.50, which brought about seething disgust and anger at America's broken healthcare system. Jessaly had no problems with our various meds mingling with googly-eyed puppets and 25 pounds of Mexican floral 'n' fruited vinyl; US customs merely asked me why I was in Mexico and if I had fun.
The weekly Manzanillo-LAX flight erupted into applause upon our landing, not because we had a rough flight, but I assume because folks were so happy to be in LA. It was interesting emerging into the International Terminal, being surrounded by It's a Small World in real life. I realized the melting potness of America, which is the culture of urban America, is the cause It's-Challenging-Understanding-Humans, a nice way to say Racism.
In Mexico, surrounded by mostly all Mexicans, I began to grasp an understanding of Mexicans and their culture and vaguely know what to expect; Mexican Time is real and everyone-but-our-fumigator is on it, Mexican Drivers are extraordinarily bad, either driving ridiculously slow or frighteningly fast, Family is Numero Uno and if you are in a relationship with a Mexican, you are in a relationship with 25 other people as well (Meep! to HB Larry!).
In urban America, particularly LA, every culture in the world is here and humans feel frightened and resentful of those we don't understand, leading to deep xenophobia, racism and isolation of and from one's neighbors. When I say Hi to peeps on the LA streets, they are shocked and rarely say Hi in return. The community of the Barra de Navidad's Barrio will be missed.
It's understandable to want to party with Peeps-You-Understand, but too often in American cities, fear drives human's car-bodies and leads to sense of non-community and non-unity, the biggest problems of LA.
In other news, it's always fab to Return Home!
Love The Ukulady
ps: LAX's International Terminal hosts a medley of Fashion No's, including White-Jeans-With-No-Panties, Daisy Duke jean-shorts with stupid-knitted-cap over perfectly-coiffed model-hair 'n' fur boots & fat-pouch-pants.
pps: Nice to brush my teeth with water from the tap! Nice to not worry about never-before-seen creatures noodling in my space! Nice to not be consta-hot! Meepmazing to wear long sleeves!
ppps: I was confused what to wear last night; I was compelled to wear my swimsuit as I haven't worn much else all week, but it was Cold! Free Thrills!
Dear Blob,
The Free Thrill of LA's now-seeming Cool Breeze is incredible! Yesterday I wore a sweatshirt, zipped through US customs with no searches or issues and invented Kissercise. Kissercise is an ab-workout mixed with smooching (the workout-ee does ab.crunches to meet the pucker of the Kissercise partner).
Thessica's journey was shockingly quick and easy, like a fast-teen getting his first bootycall, but unlike the teen's virginity-loss, it was the Best Airport Experience I've ever had, even though every traveler's bags are hand-searched, another similarity to the teens. HB Larry drove us to the airport and we said Adios, Mexico!
Interestingly, Manzanillo's airport has no checked-luggage x-ray machines, but each bag is human-checked by overly-serious workers, amusingly, keeping absolute professionalism and straight faces as they unpack and re-pack satchels of plastic blow-up toys, liquor & swimsuits. Thessica wondered what the most interesting things they'd found are; I said dead bodies; Jessica thought fetish gear.
I was mildly concerned about the few prescription meds I was traveling with. US law says the traveler needs a prescription from a US doctor, which is ridiculous, considering many travelers live in Mexico and have Mexican doctors. I purchased a blood-pressure med for Ukulad's mom; she pays $80 a month; I paid $1.50, which brought about seething disgust and anger at America's broken healthcare system. Jessaly had no problems with our various meds mingling with googly-eyed puppets and 25 pounds of Mexican floral 'n' fruited vinyl; US customs merely asked me why I was in Mexico and if I had fun.
The weekly Manzanillo-LAX flight erupted into applause upon our landing, not because we had a rough flight, but I assume because folks were so happy to be in LA. It was interesting emerging into the International Terminal, being surrounded by It's a Small World in real life. I realized the melting potness of America, which is the culture of urban America, is the cause It's-Challenging-Understanding-Humans, a nice way to say Racism.
In Mexico, surrounded by mostly all Mexicans, I began to grasp an understanding of Mexicans and their culture and vaguely know what to expect; Mexican Time is real and everyone-but-our-fumigator is on it, Mexican Drivers are extraordinarily bad, either driving ridiculously slow or frighteningly fast, Family is Numero Uno and if you are in a relationship with a Mexican, you are in a relationship with 25 other people as well (Meep! to HB Larry!).
In urban America, particularly LA, every culture in the world is here and humans feel frightened and resentful of those we don't understand, leading to deep xenophobia, racism and isolation of and from one's neighbors. When I say Hi to peeps on the LA streets, they are shocked and rarely say Hi in return. The community of the Barra de Navidad's Barrio will be missed.
It's understandable to want to party with Peeps-You-Understand, but too often in American cities, fear drives human's car-bodies and leads to sense of non-community and non-unity, the biggest problems of LA.
In other news, it's always fab to Return Home!
Love The Ukulady
ps: LAX's International Terminal hosts a medley of Fashion No's, including White-Jeans-With-No-Panties, Daisy Duke jean-shorts with stupid-knitted-cap over perfectly-coiffed model-hair 'n' fur boots & fat-pouch-pants.
pps: Nice to brush my teeth with water from the tap! Nice to not worry about never-before-seen creatures noodling in my space! Nice to not be consta-hot! Meepmazing to wear long sleeves!
ppps: I was confused what to wear last night; I was compelled to wear my swimsuit as I haven't worn much else all week, but it was Cold! Free Thrills!
Friday, July 29, 2011
UkuAdventures in Mexico: Happy Birthday UkuDad!
PHOTOS: UkuParents! Mother Mary Comes to Meep....
Dear Blob,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the Best Dad in the World, Mister Michael Lerner, formerly of Brooklym, NY, Mill Valley, CA & currently of Petaluma, CA!
Jessica and I have been creating a lot of music at Casa Azul (it's our Mexican Yaddo) and when I was a kid he used to play the guitar and sing this gorgeous song a lot. We made this for him; Congrats on making it to 65 & getting Social Security!
Tonight we, for our Going-Away Party, we are playing a Beatles cover set at Bar ReyMomo! Hope to see you readers there! 8:30pm.
Love The Ukulady
ps: We are currently all dressed up with nowhere to go; 8am in swimsuits 'n' sunscreen. This morning Fernando was going to take us to Tenacatita, the famed snorkling reef-beach, which evil developers have taken control of, to the dismay of every citizen of Mexico's Pacific Coast. It's still snorkle-able, but no cameras or phones; snacks are the only thing allowed in the gates.
We dragged our late-night meeps out of bed at 8am, I got us hopped up on coffee and Fernando called to say, "Girl, it's going to storm!" but he didn't say girl; that's the sassy black lady in my head.
pps: It's been shockingly rain-free for 10 days and the dark clouds are a welcome respite to the withering afternoon heat.
ppps: Sadly, my mini-Flip video camera has been sacrificed to the Mexican Gods, lost in Melaque, chock-full of footage for a Mexico video; sad meep. Stay tuned for the alternative....
Dear Blob,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the Best Dad in the World, Mister Michael Lerner, formerly of Brooklym, NY, Mill Valley, CA & currently of Petaluma, CA!
Jessica and I have been creating a lot of music at Casa Azul (it's our Mexican Yaddo) and when I was a kid he used to play the guitar and sing this gorgeous song a lot. We made this for him; Congrats on making it to 65 & getting Social Security!
Tonight we, for our Going-Away Party, we are playing a Beatles cover set at Bar ReyMomo! Hope to see you readers there! 8:30pm.
Love The Ukulady
ps: We are currently all dressed up with nowhere to go; 8am in swimsuits 'n' sunscreen. This morning Fernando was going to take us to Tenacatita, the famed snorkling reef-beach, which evil developers have taken control of, to the dismay of every citizen of Mexico's Pacific Coast. It's still snorkle-able, but no cameras or phones; snacks are the only thing allowed in the gates.
We dragged our late-night meeps out of bed at 8am, I got us hopped up on coffee and Fernando called to say, "Girl, it's going to storm!" but he didn't say girl; that's the sassy black lady in my head.
pps: It's been shockingly rain-free for 10 days and the dark clouds are a welcome respite to the withering afternoon heat.
ppps: Sadly, my mini-Flip video camera has been sacrificed to the Mexican Gods, lost in Melaque, chock-full of footage for a Mexico video; sad meep. Stay tuned for the alternative....
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