Why Freelancers Love the Tabloids

Dear Blob,
Reading the Interweb news this morning on yahoo's "front page", I skimmed the bleak economic update, Obama's visit to Iraq, but upon coming to yahoo news's front page scoop of Lindsey Lohan and Samantha Ronson's for-now-breakup, I actually gasped aloud with interest and excitment. I was mostly excited by Lindsey being, apparently, barred from a Ronson Family party.

Being an expensively-educated, critical-thinker, labeled by my dad an intellectual, I felt a moment of shame for being so excited about Lindsey's difficulties.

Then I realized: at my home office, I have no water cooler to gather around or anyone to gather with; no Jim & Pam of The Office TV show, to speculate upon; not even my real & facebook friends have much to gossip about. Nothing as interesting as Lindsey, Brittney & Rhianna. For freelancers, tabloid gossip replaces around-the-water-cooler gossip. Without celebrity mishaps, how can us freelancers feel good about our relationships, constant-looming unemployment & genetic cellulite?

Poor Lindsey. Maybe she'll turn to yoga like Jennifer Aniston. I did.
Love The Ukulady

ps: I'm also intrigued by the Odd News section of the interweb news.
pps: I've discontinued my LA Times subscription. Too expensive for less-than-stellar content. Poor Newspaper Industry.

American Idol & Economy UnFever: Equally Important World News!

Dear Blob,
Because of economy-UnFever, I'm trimming my expenses and sadly, the first thing to go is my morning newspaper. I really heart reading a paper every morning, but the LA Times is so lame and the NY Times is so expensive. So I've switched to interweb news, which my eyeballs aren't totally thrilled with. This morning's World News from yahoo included Pakistan, Palestine & American Idol. I am a huge kareoke fan. I even used to go to The Mint kareoke bar in San Francisco, by myself. I am sick of most world news, but am not quite on board with American Idol being up there with genocide, global economic unfever and North Korea's reluctance to feed it's people.

Love The Ukulady

ps: The local LA News is all car crashes & murder. I think I will be more relaxed not reading the LA Times every morning.
pps: Is Energy & Commerce Committee Chairman, Rep. Henry Waxman the most rodent-ee-looking public figure? He resembles a Disney Beaver.

Lindsay VS. Iraq

Dear Blog,
I like to drink my strong-imported-from-San-Francisco-french-pressed-coffee and read the morning news made out of paper. This morning I discovered that these days I care very little about the latest bullshit from Bush, Baghdad and Barack. What compels me is the front-page news of Lindsay Lohan's cocaine 'n' alcohol Memorial Day weekend binge. I scan the Iraq Casualty/Hillary Clinton headlines, but read the entire article about Lindsay Lohan's fuck-ups. And I love it. I want more from Lindsay. I want Lindsay to wrinkle early, to burn visible cocaine holes in her face, to get fat. This is front-page news in America. I don't want to be sad and frustrated that poor kids who want to go to college on the GI bill are being killed along with thousands of darkies in the Cradle of Civilization. I want to feel good about myself. And knowing that Lindsay, Paris & Brittney appear to be empty vessels of insecurity, self-loathing and saddness, makes me feel good about myself!
Love The UkuLady
PS: I'm also compelled by the Food section. I like it when the restaurant critics hate. I like the expensive fussy-food restaurants to be ripped apart and the cheap taco trucks & pie shacks, celebrated.
PPS: Unfortunately Lindsay's latest debacle will only earn her more money as no publicity is bad publicity. If only she'd give some of her endorsement cash to the homeless junkies who can't afford the outrageously-priced rehabs; instead she purchases thousand-dollar tee-shirts to wear with No Underwear.
PPS: I just called Promises Rehab Center and they refused to tell me how much they charge per day. And their website does not offer that information. If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
PPPS: I feel like a real Beat Reporter doing actual blog-research to give my readers the price of Lindsay's rehab center! I feel smugly self-satistfied, pleased with my brief foray into real fact-finding.
PPPPS: I'll continue the rehab-price-research, but not right now.