Dear Blob,
The pioneers made johnny cake, pickles and log cabins; I made this yesterday:
Work-Seeking these days!
Love The Ukulady
ps: Along with audio Voiceover Reels, The Ukulady is now offering Video Voiceover Reels for Voiceover Actors! Emeep to get started!
Showing posts with label The Sims 2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Sims 2. Show all posts
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Friday, April 18, 2008
Sims Session Tidbit NIbblets
Dear Blob,
I enjoyed 2 days in the Sims studio this week with my awesome fellow Sim Voiceover pals, Jack and Gerri! Here are some tidbit nibblets from our sessions:
1. Wand Man! A Superhero
2. Kvetchshirts - Sweatshirts for the Jews.
3. Teasly and Sparcity - Unfortunately-named girls.
4. the Pillsbury Dough Witch
5. The Witch Laugh Comp! A Great Parlour Game!
6. Gay Phone! You have to sing it, like it's a jingle: Gay Phone! And picture a fabulous queeny boy chatting on his fabulous Gay Phone!
7. Florkle - a ladle fork, cousin to the Spork.
8. Slice, the drink - where has it gone?
Love The Ukulady
ps: I made Heart Binoculars and asked Jack what they were, and he said FriendHeart Goggles.
pps: For all you Sims fans....this expansion pack is not Sims Domestic Servant or Sims Illegal Immigrant.....something to hope for in the future....
pps: For those of you who do not know, these tidbit nibblets come out of speaking in gibberish for 6 hours in a row.
I enjoyed 2 days in the Sims studio this week with my awesome fellow Sim Voiceover pals, Jack and Gerri! Here are some tidbit nibblets from our sessions:
1. Wand Man! A Superhero
2. Kvetchshirts - Sweatshirts for the Jews.
3. Teasly and Sparcity - Unfortunately-named girls.
4. the Pillsbury Dough Witch
5. The Witch Laugh Comp! A Great Parlour Game!
6. Gay Phone! You have to sing it, like it's a jingle: Gay Phone! And picture a fabulous queeny boy chatting on his fabulous Gay Phone!
7. Florkle - a ladle fork, cousin to the Spork.
8. Slice, the drink - where has it gone?
Love The Ukulady
ps: I made Heart Binoculars and asked Jack what they were, and he said FriendHeart Goggles.
pps: For all you Sims fans....this expansion pack is not Sims Domestic Servant or Sims Illegal Immigrant.....something to hope for in the future....
pps: For those of you who do not know, these tidbit nibblets come out of speaking in gibberish for 6 hours in a row.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Blob O' the Business Trabler...
Dear Blob!
Greetings from the Hotel Sofitel, where I am once again, a business traveler and thankfully, employed! This, the third week after Brittney Spears’s unfortunate un-comeback on the VMA awards, I am headed into my fifth year of being the voice of Electronic Art’s Teenage girl Sim on The Sims 2 videogames. Today’s first day back on the EA campus was a mini-reunion, catching up with who’s had a baby, who’s band has finally and regrettably, stopped playing together and how long this ridiculously awesome job is going to last. The bad news is EA is considering not hiring any of the Sims 2 talent back for Sims 3. The good news is maybe we have a year left being Sims. Alas, nothing is constant but change. In fact, the Hotel Sofitel changed their complimentary moisturizer and chocolates, The new free accessories are sadly inferior to the moisturizer of yesteryear. They also ceased free wireless internet, which irks me like BrittneySpear’s is probably irked by the endless pestering of Child Protective Services. If I were paying for the Sofitel, I would not spend my hard-earned EA cash on their overpriced fees, but would find a quaint Peninsula B&B with free internet and a spa bathtub. I often wonder what the khaki-panted, polo-shirted business travelers, who frequent the Sofitel bar, think of me; ukulele in hand, pink thrift-cheer skirt, striped knee-socks, strumming about cametoe, reclining poolside at sunset….(see www.TheUkuLady .com songlist song “Camel & Moose”, written by the Sofitel pool last spring). Those are the moments I know I am blessed and all is well, no matter what changes the universe will bring. Voice over accounts come and go, as my mentor, Susan, former voice of Albertson’s Supermarkets, says. If only Brittney would share some of the 784,000 a month she earns, with The UkuLady….. For all the Sims fans out there, the latest Sims expansion packs will include exciting activities, such as tree-climbing, fruit-eating and simian-mimicry….. Squibbly Va Porklaj!
Love The UkuLady
Greetings from the Hotel Sofitel, where I am once again, a business traveler and thankfully, employed! This, the third week after Brittney Spears’s unfortunate un-comeback on the VMA awards, I am headed into my fifth year of being the voice of Electronic Art’s Teenage girl Sim on The Sims 2 videogames. Today’s first day back on the EA campus was a mini-reunion, catching up with who’s had a baby, who’s band has finally and regrettably, stopped playing together and how long this ridiculously awesome job is going to last. The bad news is EA is considering not hiring any of the Sims 2 talent back for Sims 3. The good news is maybe we have a year left being Sims. Alas, nothing is constant but change. In fact, the Hotel Sofitel changed their complimentary moisturizer and chocolates, The new free accessories are sadly inferior to the moisturizer of yesteryear. They also ceased free wireless internet, which irks me like BrittneySpear’s is probably irked by the endless pestering of Child Protective Services. If I were paying for the Sofitel, I would not spend my hard-earned EA cash on their overpriced fees, but would find a quaint Peninsula B&B with free internet and a spa bathtub. I often wonder what the khaki-panted, polo-shirted business travelers, who frequent the Sofitel bar, think of me; ukulele in hand, pink thrift-cheer skirt, striped knee-socks, strumming about cametoe, reclining poolside at sunset….(see www.TheUkuLady .com songlist song “Camel & Moose”, written by the Sofitel pool last spring). Those are the moments I know I am blessed and all is well, no matter what changes the universe will bring. Voice over accounts come and go, as my mentor, Susan, former voice of Albertson’s Supermarkets, says. If only Brittney would share some of the 784,000 a month she earns, with The UkuLady….. For all the Sims fans out there, the latest Sims expansion packs will include exciting activities, such as tree-climbing, fruit-eating and simian-mimicry….. Squibbly Va Porklaj!
Love The UkuLady
Friday, July 20, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
UkuLady at Circus Camp!
Dear Blog and readers!
Sorry for the extended vacation of sarcastic/earnest life observation and conversation! I've been working at the best, most fun place on earth, Camp Winnarainbow - www.CampWinnarainbow.org, teaching improv and songwriting and hanging out with hilarious children who talk about being superheros like Captain Traffic, inventors and love robots and volcanoes! I've unplugged from LA, cell phone and the internet for 2 weeks and am about to embark on a third magical week, complete with truth-spouting kids, clwon/doctor, Patch Adams and activist/clown, Wavy Gravy. An in-depth blog is forthcoming when I return to civilization; when my life is non-consumed by the pressing urgency of the Tornado of Talent, Unicycle Unispies and fire-juggling-training; when superheroes, strawberry-flavored t-bone steaks, and Mock-Facial-Hair Thursday are but a memory....Then I will weave the web of wonder for you, dear Blog and readersies!
Until next week, Love The UkuLady
Sorry for the extended vacation of sarcastic/earnest life observation and conversation! I've been working at the best, most fun place on earth, Camp Winnarainbow - www.CampWinnarainbow.org, teaching improv and songwriting and hanging out with hilarious children who talk about being superheros like Captain Traffic, inventors and love robots and volcanoes! I've unplugged from LA, cell phone and the internet for 2 weeks and am about to embark on a third magical week, complete with truth-spouting kids, clwon/doctor, Patch Adams and activist/clown, Wavy Gravy. An in-depth blog is forthcoming when I return to civilization; when my life is non-consumed by the pressing urgency of the Tornado of Talent, Unicycle Unispies and fire-juggling-training; when superheroes, strawberry-flavored t-bone steaks, and Mock-Facial-Hair Thursday are but a memory....Then I will weave the web of wonder for you, dear Blog and readersies!
Until next week, Love The UkuLady
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
The 80's & Jack
Dear Blog,
I forgot to tell you that Now We Have Faces! is the awesome collaboration between me and my delightful Sim voiceover work-associate, Jack. He finally graduated last year from college, so now we can take the magic that happens in the Sims recording studios, where we speak gibberish all day long, and creat magical, funny and beautiful things in English in the real world!
It's funny hanging out with a recent college graduate and his pals because they are doing things like just discovering Tom Waits. And sometimes Bill (Sims producer) Chris (Sims engineer) and I will be chatting about 80's pop culture and Jack has no idea what we are talking about. OMG! For instance, I just tested Jack (He's sitting on the couch next to me) and I asked him if he knows who Cyndi Lauper is and he straightfaced, said no. He seriously doesn't know who she is. Ok, I just tested him again; I said, in order, "Do you know who RIcky Schroeder is? Gary Coleman? Golden Girls?" And he said no to all of them. And then he said, with an intellectual wave of his hand, "I mean, these are all people I've heard of...but..." OMG!
OMG againsies! I just sang this song to Jack, "Believe it or not, I'm walking on air, I never thought I could feel so free..." And he has never heard that song. Imagine a life without the theme song from Greatest American Hero! Poor Jack.
However, although we can't chat about Rose, Blanche, Dorothy and Ma, among the many great things about hanging out with a recent college grad, is he's totally got the scoop on technology, like youtube, myspace, google, final cut pro! For Jack and I in action see the new videos on The UkuLady's myspace page! and on Now We Have Faces myspace page!
Love The UkuLady
PS: Hungry Like The Wolf video in NYC is up on www.TheUkuLady.com!
I forgot to tell you that Now We Have Faces! is the awesome collaboration between me and my delightful Sim voiceover work-associate, Jack. He finally graduated last year from college, so now we can take the magic that happens in the Sims recording studios, where we speak gibberish all day long, and creat magical, funny and beautiful things in English in the real world!
It's funny hanging out with a recent college graduate and his pals because they are doing things like just discovering Tom Waits. And sometimes Bill (Sims producer) Chris (Sims engineer) and I will be chatting about 80's pop culture and Jack has no idea what we are talking about. OMG! For instance, I just tested Jack (He's sitting on the couch next to me) and I asked him if he knows who Cyndi Lauper is and he straightfaced, said no. He seriously doesn't know who she is. Ok, I just tested him again; I said, in order, "Do you know who RIcky Schroeder is? Gary Coleman? Golden Girls?" And he said no to all of them. And then he said, with an intellectual wave of his hand, "I mean, these are all people I've heard of...but..." OMG!
OMG againsies! I just sang this song to Jack, "Believe it or not, I'm walking on air, I never thought I could feel so free..." And he has never heard that song. Imagine a life without the theme song from Greatest American Hero! Poor Jack.
However, although we can't chat about Rose, Blanche, Dorothy and Ma, among the many great things about hanging out with a recent college grad, is he's totally got the scoop on technology, like youtube, myspace, google, final cut pro! For Jack and I in action see the new videos on The UkuLady's myspace page! and on Now We Have Faces myspace page!
Love The UkuLady
PS: Hungry Like The Wolf video in NYC is up on www.TheUkuLady.com!
Now We Have Faces! Some 411
Dear Blog,
Jack is crazy about proper grammar! He' so high maintenance but I love him anyway and Now We Have Faces, our new band, which I think needs an exclamation point at the end, but Jack is mulling that over, is totally awesomesies! We've written 3 kick-ass songs this weekend, but Jack won't let me put rough scratchy tracks on our myspace page because he's also a perfectionist. No wonder he went to Stanford.
Love The UkuLady
PS: I'm going to put rough scratchy tracks on www.myspace/NowWeHaveFaces anyway. PPS: I get to because I'm older than Jack and sometimes I pull rank.
PPPS: Being in a band with someone is like a marriage and takes a lot of Compromise. PPPPS: It's not hard to compromise with Jack though because he's awesome and hilarious.
PPPPPS: Oh, Me and Jack, my co-worker on The Sims 2 (Teenage Boy) are a band and a comedy team and are working very hard to create some stellar content! www.myspace.com/NowWeHaveFaces
Jack is crazy about proper grammar! He' so high maintenance but I love him anyway and Now We Have Faces, our new band, which I think needs an exclamation point at the end, but Jack is mulling that over, is totally awesomesies! We've written 3 kick-ass songs this weekend, but Jack won't let me put rough scratchy tracks on our myspace page because he's also a perfectionist. No wonder he went to Stanford.
Love The UkuLady
PS: I'm going to put rough scratchy tracks on www.myspace/NowWeHaveFaces anyway. PPS: I get to because I'm older than Jack and sometimes I pull rank.
PPPS: Being in a band with someone is like a marriage and takes a lot of Compromise. PPPPS: It's not hard to compromise with Jack though because he's awesome and hilarious.
PPPPPS: Oh, Me and Jack, my co-worker on The Sims 2 (Teenage Boy) are a band and a comedy team and are working very hard to create some stellar content! www.myspace.com/NowWeHaveFaces
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
JetSetting & Sims Comedy Gold!
JetSetting & Sims Comedy Gold!
Dear Blog!
Last week was the most jet-setty week eversies! Within 2 days The UkuLady Felt the Magic in 4 major US cities, Boston, NYC, LA and SF! Upon my return to LA, I took a quickie yoga class with Tony (Remarkable yoga teacher: see wwwTheUkuLady.com song "Kick Ass Friend"), where I determined that yes indeed, minor indie-cult celebrity, Miranda July, is in my yoga class and we have spotted each other's handstands. She's not a very good spotter or handstander, but yoga isn't a place to judge, it's a place to gain understanding and expand outward while drawing inward to the core!
UkuLady Jetset Schedule:
TUESDAY:
AM: Boston - NYC
Day - PM: NYC - LA
picked up by the awesome Don Black (www.TheUkuLady.com inspiration for "The MakeOut Song"), who I don't want to make out with anymore, but he has moved into Best Friend Spot Number Onesies! (in LA). We ate peanuts in his truck and I misheard him call himself Dr. Festival. He said something else, but who cares because Dr. Festival is hilarious.
WEDNESDAY:
AM: Piled-up-mail browse-through, quickie repack and off to yoga where I apparently have gained "muscle memory", because I wasn't as sucky as I would have thought after such a long yoga hiatus.
Afternoon: Burbank - Oakland! for a record-comedy-notebook Sim Session Thursday! Sim voiceover director/Funniest-Man-Alive (tiesies with D. Black) Bill, was in rare form. He had been in the Sims studio for 12 days in a row. Here are the highlights! Understand these highlights are born from 6 hours of speaking gibberish. That's improv! :
SIM SESH HIGHLIGHTS:
1. Ready and…Tai Chi!
2. Color me Crazy!
3. Friend + Energy = Frengery!!!
4. A Ricotta Frittata on Ciabatta, eaten at the Regatta on the Watah.
5. Party Luge to the SexOlympics! It was funny at the time.
6. The Glove Boot.
7. Get ready for the LernerBurger with Conte Sauce (Jack Conte is my teen Sim counterpart). No one's ever called me LernerBurger. Love it.
8. Anonymous Sex Island!
9. Hobosexual – the gay homeless train-hoppers.
9.1 Man Glance! Perhaps what Hobosexuals shoot each other…
9.2 Bitch Tap! A new musical.
9.3 Tai Cheese.
9.4 Knife Eyes! A cousin of the Man Glance?
10. Comedy Wishes: Such as, "Please let Satan invite me to his birthday party!"
11. Jack said, "Thess can't reach because she has Shrinky arms."
12. Chicken Strips at the Strip Mall
13. Fish Sticks vs. Fish Strips
14. The Cooter Computer.
15. A Chair-Hog is Mr. Greedy Chairs.
16. What is the opposite of the Friend Heart?
17. 17. Cherish the Rainbow! A demand.
Love The UkuLady
PS: Bill is as funny as S. Colbert. As funny as J. Black. He's amazing.
Dear Blog!
Last week was the most jet-setty week eversies! Within 2 days The UkuLady Felt the Magic in 4 major US cities, Boston, NYC, LA and SF! Upon my return to LA, I took a quickie yoga class with Tony (Remarkable yoga teacher: see wwwTheUkuLady.com song "Kick Ass Friend"), where I determined that yes indeed, minor indie-cult celebrity, Miranda July, is in my yoga class and we have spotted each other's handstands. She's not a very good spotter or handstander, but yoga isn't a place to judge, it's a place to gain understanding and expand outward while drawing inward to the core!
UkuLady Jetset Schedule:
TUESDAY:
AM: Boston - NYC
Day - PM: NYC - LA
picked up by the awesome Don Black (www.TheUkuLady.com inspiration for "The MakeOut Song"), who I don't want to make out with anymore, but he has moved into Best Friend Spot Number Onesies! (in LA). We ate peanuts in his truck and I misheard him call himself Dr. Festival. He said something else, but who cares because Dr. Festival is hilarious.
WEDNESDAY:
AM: Piled-up-mail browse-through, quickie repack and off to yoga where I apparently have gained "muscle memory", because I wasn't as sucky as I would have thought after such a long yoga hiatus.
Afternoon: Burbank - Oakland! for a record-comedy-notebook Sim Session Thursday! Sim voiceover director/Funniest-Man-Alive (tiesies with D. Black) Bill, was in rare form. He had been in the Sims studio for 12 days in a row. Here are the highlights! Understand these highlights are born from 6 hours of speaking gibberish. That's improv! :
SIM SESH HIGHLIGHTS:
1. Ready and…Tai Chi!
2. Color me Crazy!
3. Friend + Energy = Frengery!!!
4. A Ricotta Frittata on Ciabatta, eaten at the Regatta on the Watah.
5. Party Luge to the SexOlympics! It was funny at the time.
6. The Glove Boot.
7. Get ready for the LernerBurger with Conte Sauce (Jack Conte is my teen Sim counterpart). No one's ever called me LernerBurger. Love it.
8. Anonymous Sex Island!
9. Hobosexual – the gay homeless train-hoppers.
9.1 Man Glance! Perhaps what Hobosexuals shoot each other…
9.2 Bitch Tap! A new musical.
9.3 Tai Cheese.
9.4 Knife Eyes! A cousin of the Man Glance?
10. Comedy Wishes: Such as, "Please let Satan invite me to his birthday party!"
11. Jack said, "Thess can't reach because she has Shrinky arms."
12. Chicken Strips at the Strip Mall
13. Fish Sticks vs. Fish Strips
14. The Cooter Computer.
15. A Chair-Hog is Mr. Greedy Chairs.
16. What is the opposite of the Friend Heart?
17. 17. Cherish the Rainbow! A demand.
Love The UkuLady
PS: Bill is as funny as S. Colbert. As funny as J. Black. He's amazing.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Sims-Sessions Winners-of-the-Week!
Dear Blog,
Although we laughed extensively at this week's Sims Session, in fact I was on the floor real-lifesies-weak-kneeed (sp?) there aren't many notes in my comedy notebook. Here are the few nibblets apparently worth writing down:
1. Moose Ganja. This was a Simlish slipup. I think we decided that moose are just funny no matter what. Meese. Whatever.
2. The FriendHeart. You'll find out soon....Ok, I can't resist, it's so delightful! When you and a friend have a disagreement, argument, fight, what have you; and you just want it to be over but you don't really want to work it out with theraputic hippie-attentive listening shit, you can just say to your friend, "Friend Heart." And make a heart with your hands and your friend won't be able to resist. No one can resist the Friend Heart. This is registered by ASCAP, AFTRA and SAG.
3. The Comedy Goat. It was funny at the time. After 6 hours in a recording studio speaking gibberish, almost everything is fucking hilarious.
4. Judo Mo. A Judo Master obviously. Possibly a fellow heeb.
5. Comedy Gold. As in, "That take was Comedy Gold." Or just CoGo.
6. Bell Hops vs. Concierge. Is there really a difference?
7. Nana Mammals. I suppose these would be grandmothers who are also mammals, such as my mom. I am not the child making my mom a grandmother, just for the record.
C'est Tout! As Patreek (phonetically-French-way-to-say Patrick), my, in retrospect, flamingly gay French teacher in high school used to say.
Love The UkuLady
PS: A Swedish couple has been forbidden by the Swedish tax board to name their baby girl Metallica. I think it's a pretty good name. Call her Meta. Very post-modern.
PPS: Speaking of Post-Modern, The UkuLady would like to give a Props-of-sorts Award-of-Theatrical-Dedication to my myspace friend and real life friend, Timmy, who is flying to Greece for 3 days only, in order to catch a couple performances of Nixon in China. That's artistic-appreciation-dedication! Hope you get some airplane tranquilizers.
Although we laughed extensively at this week's Sims Session, in fact I was on the floor real-lifesies-weak-kneeed (sp?) there aren't many notes in my comedy notebook. Here are the few nibblets apparently worth writing down:
1. Moose Ganja. This was a Simlish slipup. I think we decided that moose are just funny no matter what. Meese. Whatever.
2. The FriendHeart. You'll find out soon....Ok, I can't resist, it's so delightful! When you and a friend have a disagreement, argument, fight, what have you; and you just want it to be over but you don't really want to work it out with theraputic hippie-attentive listening shit, you can just say to your friend, "Friend Heart." And make a heart with your hands and your friend won't be able to resist. No one can resist the Friend Heart. This is registered by ASCAP, AFTRA and SAG.
3. The Comedy Goat. It was funny at the time. After 6 hours in a recording studio speaking gibberish, almost everything is fucking hilarious.
4. Judo Mo. A Judo Master obviously. Possibly a fellow heeb.
5. Comedy Gold. As in, "That take was Comedy Gold." Or just CoGo.
6. Bell Hops vs. Concierge. Is there really a difference?
7. Nana Mammals. I suppose these would be grandmothers who are also mammals, such as my mom. I am not the child making my mom a grandmother, just for the record.
C'est Tout! As Patreek (phonetically-French-way-to-say Patrick), my, in retrospect, flamingly gay French teacher in high school used to say.
Love The UkuLady
PS: A Swedish couple has been forbidden by the Swedish tax board to name their baby girl Metallica. I think it's a pretty good name. Call her Meta. Very post-modern.
PPS: Speaking of Post-Modern, The UkuLady would like to give a Props-of-sorts Award-of-Theatrical-Dedication to my myspace friend and real life friend, Timmy, who is flying to Greece for 3 days only, in order to catch a couple performances of Nixon in China. That's artistic-appreciation-dedication! Hope you get some airplane tranquilizers.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Pork Lodge & Pouches
Dear Blog!
Just now driving home to Echo Park from Canter's Kibitz Room, where I was politely blown-off, I misread the street sign, Park View as Pork View. I wish it was Pork View Street. For some reason, when I'm in my 6-hour Sim sessions, where we speak gibberish, I am compelled to often say Pork Lodge. As in, "Sneeb norbula flidge la Pork Lodge?" And then Jack, my Sim partner in crime, will give me that look, over the microphones, like," You are totally ridiculous - you said Pork lodge AGAIN!" Or when I mistakenly say vaj or waj, which also happens frequently, as in, "Wib globbet, sneej flam worbley vaj?" Jack gives me the same look. It's endearingly amused.
Speaking of the Sims, there were tour groups flocking the EA campus monday. Scores of youthful video-game mavens, taking pictures of things like the EA cafeteria. Granted, it's a nice dining space, but it seems that one's video-game obsession has been taken a bit far, if looking at photos of a cafeteria thrills one.
So I was kindly blown-off of my now-formerly weekly gigs at Canter's deli. 3 weeks ago I was asked to take 3 weeks off. An odd amount of time. I myspace messaged the booking guy, who's very nice, an Echo Park neighbor and a trained opera singer. He never got back to me. So me and my big Annie-rejected balls, got all dolled up tonight, practiced a UkuLady set, which included Rainbow Connection, Facts of Life and Silver Spoons, and showed up at the Kibitz Room anyway. I have a show next week, but I think I'm being kindly phased out. Bummer, as I made up 1000 postcards touting the weekly tuesday shows. I said fuck too much, and was asked to say bleep or friggin instead and my political songs were also censored. A whole lot of censoring for a small lady with a ukulele. I'm edgy! Or I have superior diction, compared to the rock bands that must say fuck or else they're not rock.
Love The UkuLady
PS: I have adult-onset acne! I never had pimples as a teen and since moving to the environmental disaster of LA, I am like a prepubescent tweenager who works amongst frenchfry fryers! Ok, I'm being a tad overdramatic, but I'm being forced by the hand of Narcissim to learn a new beauty evening regime in my old age, so's to remain Askable-For-ID-At-The-Bar.
PPS: I stole a washcloth from the Sofitel Hotel to aid my beauty regime in Echo Park.
PPPS: It's a pouch washcloth and Pouch is one of the Best Words Ever.
Just now driving home to Echo Park from Canter's Kibitz Room, where I was politely blown-off, I misread the street sign, Park View as Pork View. I wish it was Pork View Street. For some reason, when I'm in my 6-hour Sim sessions, where we speak gibberish, I am compelled to often say Pork Lodge. As in, "Sneeb norbula flidge la Pork Lodge?" And then Jack, my Sim partner in crime, will give me that look, over the microphones, like," You are totally ridiculous - you said Pork lodge AGAIN!" Or when I mistakenly say vaj or waj, which also happens frequently, as in, "Wib globbet, sneej flam worbley vaj?" Jack gives me the same look. It's endearingly amused.
Speaking of the Sims, there were tour groups flocking the EA campus monday. Scores of youthful video-game mavens, taking pictures of things like the EA cafeteria. Granted, it's a nice dining space, but it seems that one's video-game obsession has been taken a bit far, if looking at photos of a cafeteria thrills one.
So I was kindly blown-off of my now-formerly weekly gigs at Canter's deli. 3 weeks ago I was asked to take 3 weeks off. An odd amount of time. I myspace messaged the booking guy, who's very nice, an Echo Park neighbor and a trained opera singer. He never got back to me. So me and my big Annie-rejected balls, got all dolled up tonight, practiced a UkuLady set, which included Rainbow Connection, Facts of Life and Silver Spoons, and showed up at the Kibitz Room anyway. I have a show next week, but I think I'm being kindly phased out. Bummer, as I made up 1000 postcards touting the weekly tuesday shows. I said fuck too much, and was asked to say bleep or friggin instead and my political songs were also censored. A whole lot of censoring for a small lady with a ukulele. I'm edgy! Or I have superior diction, compared to the rock bands that must say fuck or else they're not rock.
Love The UkuLady
PS: I have adult-onset acne! I never had pimples as a teen and since moving to the environmental disaster of LA, I am like a prepubescent tweenager who works amongst frenchfry fryers! Ok, I'm being a tad overdramatic, but I'm being forced by the hand of Narcissim to learn a new beauty evening regime in my old age, so's to remain Askable-For-ID-At-The-Bar.
PPS: I stole a washcloth from the Sofitel Hotel to aid my beauty regime in Echo Park.
PPPS: It's a pouch washcloth and Pouch is one of the Best Words Ever.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Sim Season is here!
Dear Blog!
Finally I'm working for money again! I do so much work all day for the visualized millions I'm manifesting via money shrine, scheming and old-fashioned hard work. Blog, I know Jenna Bush thinks she has the greatest job in the world, giving to the poor children of the 3rd world for a week and then cutting a 6 figure book-deal about her rigorous & heart-hole-piercing experiences; but Blog, speaking in gibberish with my pals all day and then lounging by a fancy-hotel-pool, musing about cameltoe on ukulele and sipping complimentary red-wine in the California sunshine, really surpasses The Giving-of -Jenna-to-the-Poor! Some nibblets from our first Sim Session of the year:
1. Stew Kitty
2. The difficulty of toilet-training Hellen Keller
3. Man Ham
4. Ice Skater, Dorothy Hamster
5. Cat Pork Chops
6. The Great Taste of Shanooky
7. Mopaccinos, a delicious beverage for janitors or adorable moppet-orphans
8.Mr. Whiskerly Mittens, a cat of course.
9. Sims Guatamala! An Expansion Pack coming soon!
Friends and Blog, who are unfamiliar with The Sims:
It is apparently the biggest-selling PC video games of all time and pays my bills. Spring is Sim Expansion Pack season and I get to work with Jack, Bill and Chris! And I get to stay at the Sofitel Hotel, where I am a recognized Business Traveler, so I've been upgraded to a fancy-ass suite several times and plied with free alcohol by the French bar manager, Bertrand. I love my job. Meanwhile, no news of Brittany lately or Lindsey....Perhaps they've discovered Anusara yoga.
Love TSLerner
Finally I'm working for money again! I do so much work all day for the visualized millions I'm manifesting via money shrine, scheming and old-fashioned hard work. Blog, I know Jenna Bush thinks she has the greatest job in the world, giving to the poor children of the 3rd world for a week and then cutting a 6 figure book-deal about her rigorous & heart-hole-piercing experiences; but Blog, speaking in gibberish with my pals all day and then lounging by a fancy-hotel-pool, musing about cameltoe on ukulele and sipping complimentary red-wine in the California sunshine, really surpasses The Giving-of -Jenna-to-the-Poor! Some nibblets from our first Sim Session of the year:
1. Stew Kitty
2. The difficulty of toilet-training Hellen Keller
3. Man Ham
4. Ice Skater, Dorothy Hamster
5. Cat Pork Chops
6. The Great Taste of Shanooky
7. Mopaccinos, a delicious beverage for janitors or adorable moppet-orphans
8.Mr. Whiskerly Mittens, a cat of course.
9. Sims Guatamala! An Expansion Pack coming soon!
Friends and Blog, who are unfamiliar with The Sims:
It is apparently the biggest-selling PC video games of all time and pays my bills. Spring is Sim Expansion Pack season and I get to work with Jack, Bill and Chris! And I get to stay at the Sofitel Hotel, where I am a recognized Business Traveler, so I've been upgraded to a fancy-ass suite several times and plied with free alcohol by the French bar manager, Bertrand. I love my job. Meanwhile, no news of Brittany lately or Lindsey....Perhaps they've discovered Anusara yoga.
Love TSLerner
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Overdue Observations
Dear Blog,
FROM THE AUTUMN SIM & SOM SESSIONS...
1. What's the deal with celebrities flaunting 'n' flashing their shaved vaginas? If the pioneers or pilgrims knew their country had come to Paris, Brittney and Jenna Bush peekabooing their plucked cooters, they would probably become short of breath and choke on their salt pork snack.
2. Driving I5 between SF and LA there is a restaurant called The Apricot Tree, which is a pleasant stop as it houses a huge collection on vintage metal lunchboxes and thermi (plural thermos?). They have a giftshop which sells toy sleeping cats nestled in a basket and they breathe mechanically. They are fucked up. They also sell a book called How To Teach Your Child About God. I say, when they are about 18, give them some really good acid.
3. British-accented people talking about autistic artists.
A: He's Artistic!
B: Autistic?
A: Yes! Extremely Artistic!
B: Autistic?
A: Yes, Artistic!
4. Wussies from Worcester (using the appropriate New England accent)
5. Riding the Porkpole.
6. Living in the Pork Flats.
7. I'm a boarder in the whore quarter. That's what the filmmaker was who made that great documentary about the kids in the whore district in India. Good movie.
8. Like a Dove on Fire. FireDove - good album name.
9. Spungry - Spunky & Hungry
10. SimFluenza! That's what I have right now.
Love The UkuLady
FROM THE AUTUMN SIM & SOM SESSIONS...
1. What's the deal with celebrities flaunting 'n' flashing their shaved vaginas? If the pioneers or pilgrims knew their country had come to Paris, Brittney and Jenna Bush peekabooing their plucked cooters, they would probably become short of breath and choke on their salt pork snack.
2. Driving I5 between SF and LA there is a restaurant called The Apricot Tree, which is a pleasant stop as it houses a huge collection on vintage metal lunchboxes and thermi (plural thermos?). They have a giftshop which sells toy sleeping cats nestled in a basket and they breathe mechanically. They are fucked up. They also sell a book called How To Teach Your Child About God. I say, when they are about 18, give them some really good acid.
3. British-accented people talking about autistic artists.
A: He's Artistic!
B: Autistic?
A: Yes! Extremely Artistic!
B: Autistic?
A: Yes, Artistic!
4. Wussies from Worcester (using the appropriate New England accent)
5. Riding the Porkpole.
6. Living in the Pork Flats.
7. I'm a boarder in the whore quarter. That's what the filmmaker was who made that great documentary about the kids in the whore district in India. Good movie.
8. Like a Dove on Fire. FireDove - good album name.
9. Spungry - Spunky & Hungry
10. SimFluenza! That's what I have right now.
Love The UkuLady
Inside the Sim Studio!
Dear Blog!
Just like Inside the Actor's Studio, but different, kind of...this is my expensive BFA in Action! Picture our studio...big-ish for a voiceover stude, filled with expensive audio equiptment and odd foley stuff, like corstarch, punching bags and palmolive. red-haired Bill, director, and slim experimental-music Xtopher, our awesome engineer, behind the glass; Stanford senior Jack and I, friggin choreographing interpretive dance and pretending we are Muffers and Ginnsy, theoretically, but also for realsy. Thank god Bill is funny, although admitedly a bit depressed, because if he wasn't funny, our job would be extremely tedious, although fiscally worth it. So we speak in gibberish ALL DAY LONG! Here are the highlights of the day!:
1. Taming the Wind! A new musical! Hit song from Taming the Wind! ..."My Voice is my Soul"!
2. Grapples - a new fruit, apples and grapes, pronounced Grayples!
3. "I put the sensual in consensual..."
4. Locust vs. Low-cost
5. Evil Alive! another new musical
6. Silent Touch! another new musical
7. Loni Anderson Day - a celebration of Loni, where we make a statue of Loni out of Pork.
8. Compliment City vs. Condiment City
9. Rap City, where we use Rap Lube, for those oh-so-dry days.
10. ShoobiQuando - a martial art
11. Smoo Ching, the exchange student
12. Mockchovies, on top of pizza.
13. The Porklipse - kind of like an eclipse, but different.
14. Chip Wibner, newscaster
15. Clam Jim or clam jam.
16. Your laugh cuts like glass...ouchy
NEW BAND NAMES: The Potty Mouths, Pixie Stix, Swizel Stix, Nurse Princess, Mock Rocket.
I love my job, but I feel weird living at the Sofitel Hotel, kind of. I can't decide if I should work out or go eat. Oh, we love talking about HAM PANTS! They are much more comfy than jam pants, which stick to the chair and reveal naked flesh. I think I'm too tired to work out or go eat. Perhaps I'll read the New Yorker and feel smugly superior.
Love The UkuLady Teen Sim
Just like Inside the Actor's Studio, but different, kind of...this is my expensive BFA in Action! Picture our studio...big-ish for a voiceover stude, filled with expensive audio equiptment and odd foley stuff, like corstarch, punching bags and palmolive. red-haired Bill, director, and slim experimental-music Xtopher, our awesome engineer, behind the glass; Stanford senior Jack and I, friggin choreographing interpretive dance and pretending we are Muffers and Ginnsy, theoretically, but also for realsy. Thank god Bill is funny, although admitedly a bit depressed, because if he wasn't funny, our job would be extremely tedious, although fiscally worth it. So we speak in gibberish ALL DAY LONG! Here are the highlights of the day!:
1. Taming the Wind! A new musical! Hit song from Taming the Wind! ..."My Voice is my Soul"!
2. Grapples - a new fruit, apples and grapes, pronounced Grayples!
3. "I put the sensual in consensual..."
4. Locust vs. Low-cost
5. Evil Alive! another new musical
6. Silent Touch! another new musical
7. Loni Anderson Day - a celebration of Loni, where we make a statue of Loni out of Pork.
8. Compliment City vs. Condiment City
9. Rap City, where we use Rap Lube, for those oh-so-dry days.
10. ShoobiQuando - a martial art
11. Smoo Ching, the exchange student
12. Mockchovies, on top of pizza.
13. The Porklipse - kind of like an eclipse, but different.
14. Chip Wibner, newscaster
15. Clam Jim or clam jam.
16. Your laugh cuts like glass...ouchy
NEW BAND NAMES: The Potty Mouths, Pixie Stix, Swizel Stix, Nurse Princess, Mock Rocket.
I love my job, but I feel weird living at the Sofitel Hotel, kind of. I can't decide if I should work out or go eat. Oh, we love talking about HAM PANTS! They are much more comfy than jam pants, which stick to the chair and reveal naked flesh. I think I'm too tired to work out or go eat. Perhaps I'll read the New Yorker and feel smugly superior.
Love The UkuLady Teen Sim
Chat of the Sims
Dear Blog,
I'm writing you, once again, from the lounge of the Sofitel Hotel in Redwood city. Today during our sims recording sesh we discussed Fruzenglajen. Where is it now?! It's so eighties! Apparently, according to the web, it was sued by Haagen Daaz, and then the brand sold to Kraft, and perhaps Unilever, which I thought was a soap company. Fruzenglajen was so heavily marketed in the eighties. It's hard to believe it's simply vanished off the face of the earth, which apparently, according to the web, it has. Fruzenglajen exists only in memories! Also, my sim partner, Jack, is so young, he's never heard the song, "The Girl is Mine"! Nor has he seen Ab Fab. That is more believable, but to not have experiences Michael and Paul...I'm a Lover Not Fighter is such a classic line, important to mankind. Last week during sims I thought about Goulash vs. Galoshes. Also, I can't stop saying, unconciously, Pork Lodge. Or Jamocha. I talk about the Jamocha Pork Lodge all the time. I can't help it. We also have some great band names, like Self-Rising Flour and HeadLocker. Today at the Sofitel gym I watched Pretty in Pink, while riding the stationary bike. Ducky is so much hotter than Andrew McCarthy, who is named Blaine in the movie, which makes me think of Red, White and Blaine, the pageant in Waiting For Guffman. Molly Ringwald and the cast of P in P are SO YOUNG! I was shocked. I remember watching that movie multiple times as a tweenager and thinking how mature and sexy the cast was. Now I'm old. Way older than Molly Ringwald in P in P. Luckily she's older than me still. Thanks for listening, Blog!
Snerve The UkuLady Lerner
I'm writing you, once again, from the lounge of the Sofitel Hotel in Redwood city. Today during our sims recording sesh we discussed Fruzenglajen. Where is it now?! It's so eighties! Apparently, according to the web, it was sued by Haagen Daaz, and then the brand sold to Kraft, and perhaps Unilever, which I thought was a soap company. Fruzenglajen was so heavily marketed in the eighties. It's hard to believe it's simply vanished off the face of the earth, which apparently, according to the web, it has. Fruzenglajen exists only in memories! Also, my sim partner, Jack, is so young, he's never heard the song, "The Girl is Mine"! Nor has he seen Ab Fab. That is more believable, but to not have experiences Michael and Paul...I'm a Lover Not Fighter is such a classic line, important to mankind. Last week during sims I thought about Goulash vs. Galoshes. Also, I can't stop saying, unconciously, Pork Lodge. Or Jamocha. I talk about the Jamocha Pork Lodge all the time. I can't help it. We also have some great band names, like Self-Rising Flour and HeadLocker. Today at the Sofitel gym I watched Pretty in Pink, while riding the stationary bike. Ducky is so much hotter than Andrew McCarthy, who is named Blaine in the movie, which makes me think of Red, White and Blaine, the pageant in Waiting For Guffman. Molly Ringwald and the cast of P in P are SO YOUNG! I was shocked. I remember watching that movie multiple times as a tweenager and thinking how mature and sexy the cast was. Now I'm old. Way older than Molly Ringwald in P in P. Luckily she's older than me still. Thanks for listening, Blog!
Snerve The UkuLady Lerner
The Sims & Me!
Dear blog 'n' friends,
I'm writing tonight as a business traveler, from the lobby of the Sofitel hotel in Redwood City, CA, only minutes from the Electronic Arts "campus". Once again, I have been fiscally saved by the sims. I am dressed in jeans, a sweater and children's frog rainboots and am apparently, the only woman in the bar area, where the Sofitel provides free internet access, and to me, a frequent guest, a free glass of wine. Across from me, is a cluster of business travelers, men in button downs, loosening up with liquor after a tough day of business conferences perhaps. I think I look out-of-place and people are wondering what in the world brings me to the Sofitel (rather pricy, paid for by EA) as a business traveler. I spent the day in the recording studio with Jack, my fab teen cohort, saying squibbles and nibbler flanachki and apparently jamocha and flanucci; and fabsy Bill, our ridiculously superbly funny director, and xtopher, our post-modern fab engineer. Today the animations required Jack and I to puke, make out, clean the toilet, chat on a sofa and disturbingly, poop. We resisted the poop animations, citing their probably cutting due to Walmart's family values. Bill concurred. We get to eat in the EA cafeteria and Bill told me the best lie I've ever believed, that he was a deadbeat dad of 2 kids. I was relieved it was a lie/farce. The Sofitel has comfy beds. If Jack and I got residuals, we'd be rich. Damn those cd-rom/interactive game contracts!
snerve teen Sim lerner
I'm writing tonight as a business traveler, from the lobby of the Sofitel hotel in Redwood City, CA, only minutes from the Electronic Arts "campus". Once again, I have been fiscally saved by the sims. I am dressed in jeans, a sweater and children's frog rainboots and am apparently, the only woman in the bar area, where the Sofitel provides free internet access, and to me, a frequent guest, a free glass of wine. Across from me, is a cluster of business travelers, men in button downs, loosening up with liquor after a tough day of business conferences perhaps. I think I look out-of-place and people are wondering what in the world brings me to the Sofitel (rather pricy, paid for by EA) as a business traveler. I spent the day in the recording studio with Jack, my fab teen cohort, saying squibbles and nibbler flanachki and apparently jamocha and flanucci; and fabsy Bill, our ridiculously superbly funny director, and xtopher, our post-modern fab engineer. Today the animations required Jack and I to puke, make out, clean the toilet, chat on a sofa and disturbingly, poop. We resisted the poop animations, citing their probably cutting due to Walmart's family values. Bill concurred. We get to eat in the EA cafeteria and Bill told me the best lie I've ever believed, that he was a deadbeat dad of 2 kids. I was relieved it was a lie/farce. The Sofitel has comfy beds. If Jack and I got residuals, we'd be rich. Damn those cd-rom/interactive game contracts!
snerve teen Sim lerner
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