Thursday, December 29, 2011

Eye Candy!

Dear Blob,
I've discovered the magic of music sharing via the futuristic interweb! Click below to hear Eye Candy, by The Ukulady! A song about Pioneers, love and long-distance.

Eye Candy

Love The Ukulady
ps: Ukulele & Omnichord! Featuring Jessica Grant on Omnichord!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Kim Jong Il is Dead: My Most Surreal Hollywood Moment

Dear Blob,
Perhaps my most surreal Hollywood moment came last night at a holiday party, themed Christmas Island, complete with a tiki man-hut topped by a giant jack-o-lantern-like Santa who spewed soapy fake snow out his triangle eyes and a clam-shell punch fountain.

I and Fired-for-being-Gay-BFF, Mitch (See Blogs from October for the scoop), nibbling on peppermint bark, ham and mashed potatoes, found ourselves seated around an outside fire with gay comedy icon, Bruce Villanch, who I primarily associate with the Muppets. We discussed cameltoe vs. mooseknuckle, the marketability of the new Muppet movie and Atlantis cruises, when Bruce, glanced at his computer phone and casually announced, "Kim Jong Il is Dead." Then Triangle-Eye Santa started up again and it snowed in Gay Hollywood; it was shocking.

My favorite dictator is dead! First Mallomar G, Libya's marshmallow douchebag and now Kimmy, his beige jumpsuits and pouffy hair! Who can I make fun of now? Speaker of the House Boner, upsets me too much. Dictators need to be a healthy distance from me and not affect my daily life, like Boner and his evil-robot/crybaby activities, who would be a dictator if he had the opportunity.

Bruce Villanch informing me of Kim Jong Il's demise amongst the backdrop of snowy gay winter-wonderland, tops my old Most Surreal Hollywood Moment, which took place in an intimate recording studio setting, sharing licorice whips with with Alice Cooper.

Love The Ukulady

ps: Fired-For-Being-Gay, BFF, Mitch Stein, will be filing his discrimination lawsuit against Charter Oak High School very soon! Stay tuned for the scoop!

pps: I hope the North Koreans are secretly partying and get to go free! Poor slaves.

ppps: Could the deaths of 2 Dictators be the start of the 2012 consciousness shift?

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Carb, Lard & Peace on Earth!

Dear Blob,
'Tis the time of year for Carb 'n' Lard Snacks & Peace on Earth!

Love The Ukulady

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Robots Drink Hot Cococa!

Dear Blob,
The Elves are making Gingerbread dogs! Robots drink hot cocoa!
Love The Ukulady