Monday, January 19, 2009

World-Power Christmas Eve!

Dear Blob!
It is World-Power Christmas Eve! Adios to the Celebration and Reign of Anti-Intellectualism, Cocky Bravado, and the Dark Side! Somehow, amidst the thrill and amazement of Obama's victory, it didn't occur to me that Bush, Cheney and their administration, which says, "thumbs-up, Torture!" is actually leaving! Not only is Obama and his fleet of Critical Thinkers, who celebrate knowledge & science, taking control of our broken country, but Bush and his BFF, Hubris, will be gone! Whooohooo! It really hit me yesterday! Here we are, on the brink of Global Energy Shifting! Please, Blob and Powers of Manifestation, keep Obama alive and productive. The most exciting thing to me is the re-installation of Intellectualism in office. Bush isn't an inherently evil person, just dumb and cocky. It's like the James Spader crowd from Pretty in Pink (the Richies), got control of the White House for 8 years and now Duckie and Annie Potts are in power.

Meanwhile, upon reading the Inaugural luncheon menu, I am concerned with the lack of Greens. Seafood Stew, Brace of American Birds (duck & pheasant - fancy!), sweet potatoes and Apple Sponge Cake. I don't like sweet potatoes too much, which is why, I suppose, I didn't capitalize them. No salad or roughage! Perhaps at the Inaugural dinner....
Love The Ukulady
ps: Molly Ringwald should have ended up with Duckie, not Andrew McCarthy.
pps: Or like the Craig Sheffield crowd in Some Kind Of Wonderful. Watching Obama take power is like watching Mary Stuart Masterson and Eric Stoltz fall in love. Good Guys win!
ppps: Even though Jenna Bush has been such a shitty myspace friend, I will miss the Bush Twins in the spotlight.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Dear Taliban!

Dear Blob -
I live downstairs from such an awful neighbor, for the past year and a half, Fabulous Roommate and I have called her The Cuntessa. She earned a new name this weekend, after verbally attacking me at 3 in the afternoon and subsequently filming me on my porch singing. Unfortunately for her, she is one of the Ukulady Haters (see occasional comments), particularly of my voice, which was described on Ebay as "extremely squeaky. (In googling myself, I discovered my album, Banned From Canters!, on Ebay!

Meanwhile, The Cuntessa's name has changed to The Taliban. And below, I write a letter to all Taliban:

Dear Taliban!
Please stop bullying the folks who live next door, downstairs and all around you. Your antagonism is totally anti-love and you're contributing to the Dark Side. In a way, I am looking forward to your next attack because I plan on using my Shield of Supreme Love and Peace, singing The Rainbow Connection. Snap! Rainbow Connection in your face, Taliban!
Love The Ukulady
ps: My solution to The Taliban was reached after much discussion with friends and family, who also suggestion Restraining Order. My landlord told me to call the police next time The Taliban harasses me.
pps: I am impressed with teen-singing sensation, Taylor Swift! Not her music, but her marketing team.