Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Mystery of the Missing Chicken

Dear Blob -
Ukulady & Lad are Chicken-Sitting 5 chickens. Our duties are simple: let the chickens out of the coop in the morning and tuck them in at night. Last night, at dusk, we ventured into the yard to perform our chicken-sitting duties and to our dismay, there were only 4 chickens nestled in the coop. Distraught, we searched high and low for the missing yellow chicken, but after much fruitless chicken-seeking, we had to admit our chicken-sitting failures. After using a flashlight to search the nooks and crannies of the coop, we sadly concluded Yellow Chicken had been stolen by a hawk or had vanishing-into-thin-air-abilities. Sadly, we locked the 4 chickens in their coop and over a delicious chicken dinner, discussed where the Yellow Chicken could have gone. Sounds like a classic case of the Chicken-Sitters eating the chicken, but our dinner was rotisserie, not Missing Yellow Chicken.

Upon waking this morning, Ukulad went to let the remaining 4 chickens out of the coop and found, in the coop, 5 chickens! Somehow Yellow Chicken re-appeared in the night and joined her fellow chickens! Yellow Chicken either possesses Powers of Invisibility and was always in the coop or it's a Magical Coop because we eyeball-scoured that coop and yard yesterday and Yellow Chicken was not there. This morning she was. The Mysterious Magical Chicken!

Ukulady & Lad's chicken-sitting reputations are restored!

Signing off from The House of the Mysterious Chickens!
Love The Ukulady

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Kool-Aid Man returns!

Dear Blob,
After a many-year hiatus, joyfully, The Kool-Aid Man has returned to television! I've missed his buoyant enthusiasm and am pleased the Kool Aid media moguls have belatedly recognized Kool-Aid Man''s ageless appeal. However, the new Kool-Aid Man wears pants. Upon viewing the new Kool-Aid commercial, I knew something was wrong. I was to see Kool-Aid Man again; flashbacks to Saturday Morning cartoons in the '80's while crunching dense bowls of grape-nuts with honey, jog-shuffled through my head. But something felt off with this new Kool-Aid Man.

He is portrayed as gracious and generous, giving up his waiting-for-the-bus-seat to a pregnant lady, instilling positive ethics in the television viewers. But something was wrong. Then the Ukulady unicorn light went Meep! Kool-Aid Man does not wear pants! He's a pitcher of Kool-Aid.

Manpanion and I did important, scholarly research on the interweb and discovered, yes, the Old Kool-Aid Man does not wear pants. New Kool Aid Man looks stupid in pants.

Pants have 2 purposes: providing coverage for modesty and warmth. It doesn't seem to be cold in the bus-seat-commercial and Kool-Aid Man is not a real man with man-junk. Kool-Aid Man is a pitcher of Kool-Aid and be-panting him conjures creepy images of Kool-Aid Man junk.

I applaud the return of Kool-Aid Man, but for Meep's sake, keep him a pitcher of Kool-Aid. Take off his pants!
Love The Ukulady
ps: Poor Lindsey Lohan! Again!
pps: Ukulad did an interweb search for motivational music and Eye of the Tiger was the first song to pop into his uklad head. meep!