Last Thursday me and Best Straight Male Friend in LA (BSMFinLA) forced ourselves to go to our mutual commercial agent's wife's baby shower, being hosted at a sleek skinny-person bar on the Sunset Strip. The Sunset Strip, while glamourous in name, is completely pretentious, vapid, and full of people who are probably robots. However, we like our agent, and after a quick stop at Border's books (alas there are no unchain bookshops in LA), where I purchased the classic "Monster at the End Of This Book", starring Grover, we headed to the Sunset Strip. Aside from being a neighborhood of brainless pretty people, it is also the neighborhood of No-Parking-Unless-You-Want-To-Valet-For-$12-Dollars. So we parked in a nearby cinemall structure. BSMF is one of most hilarious people I know, so I was in a particularly happy mood, as we took the elevator to and fro the bar to car. Upon the elevator doors opening, who should exit, but Lindsey Lohan, in the flesh! I almost died. As I grew up amongst hippie celebrities, I don't get too excited seeing celebrities, but seeing Lindsey Lohan at a distance of about five feet, was utterly thrilling. She is mouth-droppingly beautiful. Extremely skinny, but her features are unbelievabley exquisite. And she looked pretty disheveled, for her. She seemed agitated, being in public, and quickly headed, with her handler, to the cinema. It took my breath away. Later, driving home, I remembered the unkind things I sang about her (see www.TheUkuLady.com "Poor Lindsey") and I felt a moment of remorse. That feeling is gone, replaced by pity. Parents, please don't whore your children out!
Love The UkuLady
ps: I think I'm allergic to cashews.