Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Gene Simmons, Brangelina, Parastic Twins & Camping!

Gene Simmons, Brangelina, Parasitic Twins & Camping!
Dear Blob,
I performed for Gene Simmons last week and am contractually forbidden to say anything on the subject. I auditioned to be an in UnNamed soon-to-be-aired reality television show, based on songwriting. Gene told me I am a natural performer and I am proud of him for not being dead. Once the show airs, I will post a full-disclosure blob on the subject.

In other news, I dreamt I was BFF with Brangelina and all their kids. In real life, I did go to Jane Fonda's acting summer camp with Angelina, in the '80's. She and I were never in the same bunk, and I recall her being extremely shy, so a tween friendship never materialized.

An early morning question queried by my manpanion:
"If Siamese twins have sex, is it masturbation, or incest?" Wow. Probably both. Weird. I'm relieved I don't have a parasitic twin. I'm also relieved I wasn't born with two faces. Google that one, Blob! A baby in India was born with a rare condition, two faces. I don't recommend googling medical oddities and deformities, before bed.
Love The Ukulady

ps: Manpanion and I went camping last weekend and a skeevy wannabe hippie was making the rounds, attempting to befriend other campers. Luckily, Manpanion wore his comedy Republican hat, discovered to be The Best Deterrent for skeevy wannabe hippies. The schmucky one-world-one-love-hippie saw Manpanion's "Proud to be a Republican" hat and pleasingly, steered clear of our campsite.
pps: Do not go camping in the summer. Schmucks abound, with a enormous disrespect for other campers and the earth, as proven by a pristine emerald waterfall, fringed with moss, ferns, a cast-aside lavender g-string and a dirty diaper.

No comments: