Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Dear Taliban!

Dear Blob -
I live downstairs from such an awful neighbor, for the past year and a half, Fabulous Roommate and I have called her The Cuntessa. She earned a new name this weekend, after verbally attacking me at 3 in the afternoon and subsequently filming me on my porch singing. Unfortunately for her, she is one of the Ukulady Haters (see occasional comments), particularly of my voice, which was described on Ebay as "extremely squeaky. (In googling myself, I discovered my album, Banned From Canters!, on Ebay!

Meanwhile, The Cuntessa's name has changed to The Taliban. And below, I write a letter to all Taliban:

Dear Taliban!
Please stop bullying the folks who live next door, downstairs and all around you. Your antagonism is totally anti-love and you're contributing to the Dark Side. In a way, I am looking forward to your next attack because I plan on using my Shield of Supreme Love and Peace, singing The Rainbow Connection. Snap! Rainbow Connection in your face, Taliban!
Love The Ukulady
ps: My solution to The Taliban was reached after much discussion with friends and family, who also suggestion Restraining Order. My landlord told me to call the police next time The Taliban harasses me.
pps: I am impressed with teen-singing sensation, Taylor Swift! Not her music, but her marketing team.

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