Sunday, August 1, 2010

Kool-Aid Man returns!

Dear Blob,
After a many-year hiatus, joyfully, The Kool-Aid Man has returned to television! I've missed his buoyant enthusiasm and am pleased the Kool Aid media moguls have belatedly recognized Kool-Aid Man''s ageless appeal. However, the new Kool-Aid Man wears pants. Upon viewing the new Kool-Aid commercial, I knew something was wrong. I was to see Kool-Aid Man again; flashbacks to Saturday Morning cartoons in the '80's while crunching dense bowls of grape-nuts with honey, jog-shuffled through my head. But something felt off with this new Kool-Aid Man.

He is portrayed as gracious and generous, giving up his waiting-for-the-bus-seat to a pregnant lady, instilling positive ethics in the television viewers. But something was wrong. Then the Ukulady unicorn light went Meep! Kool-Aid Man does not wear pants! He's a pitcher of Kool-Aid.

Manpanion and I did important, scholarly research on the interweb and discovered, yes, the Old Kool-Aid Man does not wear pants. New Kool Aid Man looks stupid in pants.

Pants have 2 purposes: providing coverage for modesty and warmth. It doesn't seem to be cold in the bus-seat-commercial and Kool-Aid Man is not a real man with man-junk. Kool-Aid Man is a pitcher of Kool-Aid and be-panting him conjures creepy images of Kool-Aid Man junk.

I applaud the return of Kool-Aid Man, but for Meep's sake, keep him a pitcher of Kool-Aid. Take off his pants!
Love The Ukulady
ps: Poor Lindsey Lohan! Again!
pps: Ukulad did an interweb search for motivational music and Eye of the Tiger was the first song to pop into his uklad head. meep!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I felt creeped-out by the commercial also, why was the pregnant mothers belly button so pronounced? And did you notice the clear 666 on the new kool-aid guy.