Showing posts with label gardening in la. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gardening in la. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Fired for Posing with Corndog vs. Public Heroin-Use & Tasty Kakes!


Dear Blob,
While Fired-For-Being-Gay BFF, Mitch Stein's pro-bono lawyer gathers the paperwork to serve the Charter Oak High School District for discrimination, more interesting media stories are emerging, like the basil seedlings I planted a few weeks ago.

My basil seedlets, peeking out of the dirt, are covered in weird black-tar-like meep from odd mushroom spores, which have also emerged from the earth, making the usually-tantalizing basil, creepy and disturbing, just like this recent story in the San Gabriel Tribune: Click Here!

The San Gabriel Tribune reports that an Azusa teacher was (merely) placed on leave after posting on Facebook (quote!), "For the next 40 days I will be giving up heroin - in all its forms" as well as celebrating underage drinking in Europe.

Announcing to Facebook that you are Lenting-it-Up with your Heroin use and the school district only Puts you on Leave?! And Mitch was Fired for posing with a Corndog & some Drag Queens? The glaring homophobia shines as bright as sequin glitter-sparkles favored by drag queens, 5 year old girls and pagaent enthusiasts.

The black mushroom tar-substance of the story is thickening! Just like pudding!

Speaking of pudding, I enjoyed my first Philadelphia Tasty Kake yesterday, courtesy of my new favorite HilariousGayComic, Jackie Jones, a Philly native, who also educated us on the Best Philly Steak, found, not in Philly, but in Atlantic City, New Jersey! The Joy of Learning!

There is more exciting pudding-plot thickening going on with Fired-For-Being-Gay BFF, Mitch, but I'm not allowed to blob about it yet.... Stay tuned...

Love The Ukulady

ps: Tasty Kake, peanut butter flavor, was delicious; way better than any Hostess or Little Debbie product.

pps: I just went to the Tasty Kake website and they have a product called Krimpets! Meeep!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Fired-For-Being-Gay Mitch on Perez Hilton & Corndog Enthusiasm!

PHOTOS: Fired-For-Being-Gay Mitch & fiancee, Hugo, Ukulady & Corndog!


Dear Blob,
It's too bad Mitch is engaged to be married to his partner because he if he wanted to, he could have a million dates since being Featured on the Front Page of Perez Hilton last Friday! You read-heard that right, Blob, Gay Icon, Perez Hilton picked up Fired-For-Being-Gay, Mitch's story and featured him alongside Linsdsay, Brittney, Kendra and all the other Hollywood Party Meeps!

Due to working a real-person job, I'm a bit behind the blobbing and was unable to blob this breaking news. What a dream for a gay media enthusiast!

I just searched for the link and discovered Perez has 2 websites, PerezHilton.com and FitHilton.com. Perhaps FitHilton is the new, thin 'n' fit Perez's website. Pleasingly, Mitch is on the Thin website, FitHilton.com, although Perez used the unflattering picture and Mitch looks a bit...puffy and totally cranky. Not the ideal attitude for a date, which isn't going to happen as Mitch is engaged to Hugo, but if it were, the potential Million Dates would probably change the Cranky Attitude Mitch to Happy Mitch Party Meep!

In other news, Ukulad and I inherited a food garden from the NeoSurrealists, who went to MIT to be Geniuses and we are having major bug and fungus issues. Ants and giant antish creatures are having a chomp-festival on the peppers and weird mushrooms, which exude a black, oily substance, are springing up all around the basil & artisan spring mix-greens.

I thought the black mushroom ooze was tar, but closer inspection revealed bulbous mushroom heads, something the homophobic Charter Oak High School Principal would find offensive-in-appearance, bursting through the soil and soiling potential dinner. Ukulad is worried they are poisonous mushrooms, but I feel confident that they are unharmful; more research is needed. This is why I've always grown succulents only; they are almost impossible to kill and take almost no care.

Love The Ukulady

ps: I'm preparing to start the International Corndog Association or Global Corndog Network or Universal Corndog Alliance.
The website will be a venue for Corndog Enthusiasts to post photos of them & their Corndogs! We will celebrate The Corndog via pictures so we don't gain enormous pouches...

Monday, August 22, 2011

UkuAdventures in LA: Fear Propaganda, Velveeta & Seeds!


Dear Blob,
Driving around LA, I'm disgusted by the amount of billboards for new movies and television that base their ad campaigns around Fear. Like whiny Luke Skywalker in the first Star Wars, I feel whiny about Fear Propaganda; "When will Americans realize our society is based on Fear Propaganda?" Whine I in a whiny meep.

When I was on my way to Mexico for 5 weeks, more than 5 friends looked stricken upon learning of my destination and warned me against getting kidnapped. I was surprised that so many well-educated, saavy and seemingly-courageous friends of mine still believe everything the news says. Thanks American News for Meeping up the Mexican Tourism industry! It would be like someone saying to an LA-bound tourist, "Ahh! Careful you don't get shot!" Interestingly, many non-Americans I've met believe that all Americans carry guns.

Videogames about war and fighting, television about murder and crime, films about murder and betrayal, books on sex and vampires; this is what our society is raising new humans on. Since the rise of Monotheism, humans have relied on Fear Propaganda and I find it mind-blowing that Fear Propaganda is still going strong; it's numero uno! Fear is Little Miss Pretty Princess, Gold Medal Winner, Valedictorian!

The Hollywood movie billboards are a sad joke on humanity. Millions of dollars wasted on a couple hours of chip-eating-inducing escapsim about either fat stoners or sexy murder. The Hollywood moguls would seemingly rather buy another vacation house than stand up to their peers and say, "Meep this! I'm going to make a 100 million dollar film about kindness!" Bummer for the masses who don't have the privilege of a private school education which encouraged me to be a critical thinker and question, rather than fill-in-the-SAT-bubbles and remain a frightened chip-eating sheep. I'm a chip-eating questioner.

The news frightens people of the wrong things. A tiny part of Mexico is dangerous, not the entire country. What is dangerous is the Fukushima nuclear waste spreading throughout the globe. The news considers Jessica Simpson's fat more important than radioactive poisoning, which is Everywhere. Apparently the Fear Propaganda leaders prefer to keep humans scared of each other and mind-broadening world-travel.

The pioneers were told by pioneer newspapers that the Indians were bloodthirsty, so they set off into Indian Territory terrified and racist. Genocide comes from Fear Propaganda.

I'm not scared of international travel or Muslims or checking out Watts Towers in Watts. I'm not scared of people; I'm scared of what the media doesn't tell us: that there is nuclear waste and toxic poison seeping into every corner of planet earth.

I'm scared my years in LA will compromise my health because after all, Readers, LA is a Nuclear Wasteland. How do we get the word out that a Nuclear Meltdown Larger than Three Mile Island happened here in Los Angeles and has never been cleaned up? Does anyone care? Attention San Fernando Valley Dwellers: You are living amidst Nuclear Waste! Don't let your kids play in the dirt outside! Seriously. That's something to be scared of, not taking a trip across borders.

Because of the invention of Money, humans continue to foster racism and xenophobia. Poor humans; too stupid to realize positive thinking is the best choice, until some idiotic book like The Secret comes along, the saavy authors making billions off Human Insecurity.

In other news, how can Velveeta possibly be cheese? I was nibbling leftover Velveeta, which some non-hippie-raised hippie brought over and a droplet fell on my lap. I peeled it off and not a trace remained; it was like plastic. The Lad looked up Velveeta ingredients and apparently it is not technically plastic; however, any food that peels off fabric without leaving a mark can't actually be food.

Love The Ukulady

ps: I planted seeds of basil and artisan salad spring mix a week ago and little green sproutlets are shooting up! Its' so rewarding! Everyone should plant seeds; it feels so fantastic! It should be a requirement in school: gardening from seeds!