Friday, June 20, 2008

Jamie Lynn Spears and Vaginas!

Dear Blob,
Jamie Lynn Spears, 17 year old sister to Britney, has given birth via scheduled C-Section. Her teen vagina is still firm, tight, but not so fresh and virginal as a Christian-valued community member, would prefer. And while we're discussing tight vajees, my manager, who is tight in the Hollywood community, informed me that the renown plastic surgeon to the stars does at least 3 vajee rejuvs a day. I suppose the surgeon gathers the celebrity vajee flaps into a bouquet of sorts, and perhaps uses a tourniquet, then clips the pleats of vagina, trimming the pleats into a non-plural pleat, leaving 2 or 3 vagina folds, which, when un-tourniquetted, reveals a super-tight vagina, the skin shiny from it's vajee-lip-face-lift, like Joan River's shiny sheen-of-a-face.

In other, but related news, Cindy McCain terrifies me. She is so face-lifted-scary. I admire John McCain for living in a tiger cage in Vietnam for 5 years, but he resembles a shriveled testicle and is a puppet-of-the-Dark-Side. I love Barack and Michelle and if (Crossies!) he becomes the president of our pathetic and crumbled country, it will be an amazing and wonderful day.
Love The Ukulady
ps: Unfortunately love is bad for summer bikini-bodies. My winter of making-out and eating sweets has destroyed 2 years of dilligent LA-driven body-fat-minimalzation work. Being less than 5 feet is handy when I need to dash through crowds, but is a bummer when one cookie adds a bra-size. Cookies and the pill.
pps: I'd rather be fat than worried about getting knocked-up, like Jamie Lynn. I hope the irresponsible slut goes on the pill.

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