Monday, July 16, 2007

Soy Moist Chappacinnos & such...

Dear Blog,
The disparity between Regular Life in LA and Fantasyland at Camp Winnarainbow is ridiculous. At Camp I didn't even take comedy notes because every second was chock-full of hilarity, brilliance and insight. Back in LA, as I sift through major real-life bullshit, which shall go undetailed, I have to remind myself that taco trucks are amazing, rotund echo park cholas with cameltoe bring me joy and there is value in constantly driving. Also:
1. Court-Appointed Pants: these are government-owned pants loaned to the schmuck who shows up in court wearing shorts.
2. Soy Moist Chappaccinos. I ordered one from the Coffee Bean and the barrista said, "what size?" I took pity upon her and informed her that the menu did not actually offer Soy Moist Chappaccinos. Say it. Good Times.
3. Parasites in Paraguay.
4. Opera = art form for the hefty. Couture = art form for the slim.
On an unrelated note, I realized that I would totally marry a corndog, but only if he had a fake moustache and googly eyes. This is because I love corndogs and not because of some dirty reason having to do with the corndog's suggestive shape.
Love The Ukulady
PS: Also, I'm weary of seeing people's ass cracks. Low-rise pants are way too low.
PPS: I opera sang the words CornDog, Marshmallow and Mullet yesterday in the studio.

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