Monday, July 9, 2007

A Very UkuLady Return to LalaLand

Dear Blog,
A quickie review of my first week back in LA after the woods of Northern California:
1. Oh right, I live in Mexico. I remembered this on my way to jog around Echo Park Lake, deftly zigzagging past ridiculous amounts of garbage, which included dirty diapers, soiled prom dresses and human shit, all amongst hot-cheetos bags, and dozens of other miscellaneous plastic bags. The bags are sadly interwined in scrubby dandelions, smeared with car oil, ketchup from mini-fast-food packets and cat, dog and people feces. Good Times.
2. 4th of July in Echo Park this year did not include a palm tree on fire at the lake and the neighborhood youth seemed tamer than last year, setting off mostly legal fireworks until only about midnight, rather than 4am, like last year. There was also a taco party and pre-firework nibblies on my porch.
3. My first week back also included an impromptu Friday nvitation to join '80's party-boy-gay-icon, James St. James, on his 24hour extravaganza! Ring My Bell's studio is in an empty storefront on Hollywood Blvd, with all-American fatty tourists gawking at the star-studded sidewalk, the hot dog shacks and the porn-outfit shops. RIng My Bell was a gay extravaganza, complete with me and a soft-core gay porn star, who plays a heartthrob vampire on a show I've never heard of called, Dante's Cove, answering the phones together. Dylan, the soft-core porn star wore no shirt and super low-riders, which showed his yellow and red-starred panties. He showed his ass several times and many times was very close to removing all his clothes for the internet audience. James St. James was harried, but totally sweet. My BFF, D. Black put it well, saying, "It's like you decided you were a gay icon, went to the gay community and all the gay boys are like, 'Who's she? Oh, Ok, I guess so. Yeah, she's funny and cute. Ok, she can be a ga icon!'". It was the first time I've been referred to as a celebrity, by James, as in, he's talking on the phone to a famous friend of his, in prison for murdering his drug dealer, and James says to his murderer friend, "We're having a 24 hour show and I've got all these celebrities here, like The UkuLady and Dylan the soft-core porn star vampire guy."
4. The Neosurrealists Wedding in Topanga Canyon on Saturday; they are the Neosurrealists and The UkuLady played a set and wrote The Neosurrealist Wedding Song (see later this week). Best ceremony ever; it included a Cheese Break, the question, Will You Still Love Dan if He Votes Republican (yes) and bellydancers.
5. Psychic Dating pilot shoot on Sunday. The UkuLady had a reading from Psychic Dave, who seems truly intuitive...psychic? Perhaps. Another surreal day, watching 3 sets of psychics, including the Psychic Twins, give separate readings to friends. Interestingly, the readings were similar for the same people, from the different readers.
6. Amidst the oddities of these three events was learning Nicole Richie is pregnant! Oh that poor baby fetus.... Gay Best Friend thinks Nicole may have mistakenly eaten a jelly bean or grain of Minute Rice.
7. Psychic Dave did tell me to write, so Blog, I'll hustle up my blogging this week.
Love The UkuLady

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