Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Mormons Love Pepsi & Panties

Dear Blob,
I'm distressed that the Cult of Mormanism has reached the Crux of all Cults's ultimate desire; lacing up it's We're-A-Real-Religion-Sneakers! and sprinting to the tipping point of acceptability. Mormonism is particularly fraught with hypocrisy and repulsisism, growing it's base from the usual cult-tenants of pedophilia, group sex and female oppression, and preying on the poor, uneducated and oppressed....the darkies of the the globe. Mormons love sending their fresh-faced missionary boys to third-world countries, where they bring hope, special underwear & Pepsi to the indigenous people. Mormons love their Pepsi....
My UkuLady diatribe comes from this morning's LA Times, which featured a full page article, complete with color photo, of the Claremont Graduate University's new full time Mormon Studies professor. Repulsive.
The UkuLady recently read Under The Banner of Heaven, Jon Krauker's non-fictional account of pioneer Mormon's slaughter of pioneer wagon trains, which they blamed on the Injun's. The book also details the Mormon's ridiculous history and ultimately, The UkuLady is saddened by the many people so fearful of death and the Unknown, that they whole-heartedly believe the rantings of some guy (Joseph Smith), who either 1. took some mushrooms, or 2. was mentally ill.
Mormanism, like most cults, started because a crazy person wanted to have a lot of sex with a lot of different women and children.
Again, no wonder ET's aren't interested in planet Earth. Humans are so unevolved, living in fear and reveling in utter Sheephood.
Distressedly yours, The UkuLady
ps: The LA Times is the most conservative Christian newspaper; yesterday's front-page California Wildfire articles were ALL about the Christian fire victims who came out to Pray. Giant color pictures of Christians in prayer circles. Where are the color pictures of the Pagan, Agnostic & Atheist fire victims?
pps: The UkuLady is not an Atheist, although my grandfather, a NYC intellectual Art-Worshipper, was.
ppps: I am a believer in Energy.
ppps: Everyone should read the articles and writings of Death & Dying by Elizabeth K. Ross. Fuck Fear.
pppps: Although the LA Times is totally conservative, I can't break my morning paper habit and the NY Times is too expensive.


Anonymous said...

As a non-mormon growing up in Provo Utah, I agree with your comments on Joseph Smith and do not agree with missionary work. However, I think you better check your facts on the social facts of the religion (sex, pedophilia, female oppression, and the preying on the poor and uneducated). I think if you had real facts you would be suprised. Also, the LDS religion (mormonism) is not a cult. With well over a million members, it long ago passed cult statis.

Aaron Packard said...

As a mormon growing up outside of utah, know for a fact this lady probably looked up mormons on google and looked at the first page. No matter what our detractors say we dont approve of multiple wives or really of any intimacy short of kissing before marriage. Also the practice of polygamy has been banned in the church for many years and was only used because of a surplus of woman in the church. approximately 20% wwere male after being slaughtered by missourians after the governor stated it legal to kill mormons. so someone needed to care for those husbandless woman. and i challenge any idiot who would believe this bull-crap to read the Book of Mormon and see whether an uneducated eighteen year old could have written it. and for the record Joseph smith only had one wife so it wasnt cause he wanted sex with bunch of girls. get your freaking facts right before posting slander on a church that you know nothing other than what you've learned from south park and some random guy who hates the church but also doesnt have the right facts. oh and i am a seventeen year old kid who loves to play the ukulele dont ruin its name by attaching it to your stupidity.