Cupcake & Swizzle Stick in "Success!"

Dear Blob,
Many years ago I wrote a song called Cupcakes and Art, singing about how I want a Cupcake Puppet and her boyfriend would be a Swizzle Stick puppet. When I met Adam Brown, the Ukulad, he surprised me with handmade puppets, Cupcake & Swizzle Stick. They will be part of my kids show promoting love, kindness and friendship.

Love The Ukulady

Friendheart

Dear Blob,
I'm working a real-person day job with no days-off, which makes me too tired these days to think of anything interesting to blob about. However, I can't stand to have the ickily-hateful Charter Oak School superintendent (Mormon) featured as the first Ukulady Blob, so I give you an oldie, but goodie: FriendHeart



To The Downfall of Evil!
Love The Ukulady

Mitch Tears up on NBC, But No Full Tears for the Haters!

View more videos at: http://nbclosangeles.com.

Mitch Sounds Super Thin in Radio Interview!

Dear Blob,
The tables have turned! Fired-For-Being-Gay, BFF, Mitch, has been my manager for several years; however, now that his story is becoming local and hopefully soon, national news, Mitch wants me to be his manager. Ridiculous.

Readers, please click on this meep to listen to an outstanding Radio Interview with Mitch and LA radio personality, Bill Handel!

And click here to read about Mitch on NBC LA!

Apparently, the NBC article hate-party-lover, Jenny Osterkamp, who's vitriolic quote about pulling her kid off the water-polo team because she hates gay people, isn't even a water-polo parent. She's a bit cold-sorey too; not quite the face the Christian Right wants on-camera....

What's the deal with humans loving to hate? The Ukulad was raised a Southern Baptist and knows the old heeb, Jesus's teachings inside and out and tells me that all that dude wanted was for humans to love and care for each other.

As I've blobbed about before, the homosexuals hated in the bible are not our pals in Weho, the Castro, Your Neighborhood and Every Neighborhood on Planet Earth, but the war-mongering humans who pillaged, burned and raped everyone and everything in Egypt, Assyria, Rome, Babylonia and such.

Same idea as Don't Eat Shellfish; these days we have fridges and ice, so shrimp is cool. These days Homosexuals mean the awesome peeps who have the best taste, throw the best parties, get married & raise kids. It's genetic. Poor Michelle Bachman's husband - sooooooo gay! He'd probs love nothing more than to meep it up at Hamburger Mary's with a gaggle of fab drag queens. He probs watches Logo on the sly.

To The Downfall of Evil, indeed.
Love The Ukulady

ps: Mitch sounds really thin in the radio interview!

"You Can't Have My Tears!" Fired-for-Being-Gay Mitch shouts!

Dear Blob,
I was going to wake up early and listen to formerly Gay-Bear-Manager-Mitch, now, Fired-for-Being-Gay Mitch on Bill Handel's popular morning radio show, but I missed it due to extreme bed-coziness; however, he and Devynn are featured on the front page.

In other news, Mitch's lawyer is starting the vast paperwork party it takes to serve suing-party papers to Homophobia High, aka Charter Oak High School of Covina, CA and Mitch is continuing to be the best water-polo-parent & money-raiser, hosting an inner-tube fundraiser recently.

NBC wanted him on the 11o'clock news, but Mitch didn't want to cry on-camera. "They can't have my tears!" he dramatically announced via phone. I pictured him raising his fist to the Pomona nightsky as he shouts, "I want to be on TV! I want to tell my story! But they can't have my tears!" Love it.

Meanwhile: 5 Linguistic & Visually Pleasing Words & Word-Combos

1. Kvetchup: a condiment for Heebs
2. Wussies from Worcester (must properly pronounce Worcester as Wooster)
3. Bored Boarders in the Whore Quarter (of the city)
4. Pork Wheels
5: Man Ham

Love The Ukulady

ps: 6. Trilogy: a name

Eco-Tips from The Unicorn Whisperer: Recyling Propane!

Dear Blob,
It's time for everyone to Recycle, Re-Use & Re-Believe in Unicorns.

Love The Ukulady

Fired-For-Being-Gay Mitch on Perez Hilton & Corndog Enthusiasm!

PHOTOS: Fired-For-Being-Gay Mitch & fiancee, Hugo, Ukulady & Corndog!


Dear Blob,
It's too bad Mitch is engaged to be married to his partner because he if he wanted to, he could have a million dates since being Featured on the Front Page of Perez Hilton last Friday! You read-heard that right, Blob, Gay Icon, Perez Hilton picked up Fired-For-Being-Gay, Mitch's story and featured him alongside Linsdsay, Brittney, Kendra and all the other Hollywood Party Meeps!

Due to working a real-person job, I'm a bit behind the blobbing and was unable to blob this breaking news. What a dream for a gay media enthusiast!

I just searched for the link and discovered Perez has 2 websites, PerezHilton.com and FitHilton.com. Perhaps FitHilton is the new, thin 'n' fit Perez's website. Pleasingly, Mitch is on the Thin website, FitHilton.com, although Perez used the unflattering picture and Mitch looks a bit...puffy and totally cranky. Not the ideal attitude for a date, which isn't going to happen as Mitch is engaged to Hugo, but if it were, the potential Million Dates would probably change the Cranky Attitude Mitch to Happy Mitch Party Meep!

In other news, Ukulad and I inherited a food garden from the NeoSurrealists, who went to MIT to be Geniuses and we are having major bug and fungus issues. Ants and giant antish creatures are having a chomp-festival on the peppers and weird mushrooms, which exude a black, oily substance, are springing up all around the basil & artisan spring mix-greens.

I thought the black mushroom ooze was tar, but closer inspection revealed bulbous mushroom heads, something the homophobic Charter Oak High School Principal would find offensive-in-appearance, bursting through the soil and soiling potential dinner. Ukulad is worried they are poisonous mushrooms, but I feel confident that they are unharmful; more research is needed. This is why I've always grown succulents only; they are almost impossible to kill and take almost no care.

Love The Ukulady

ps: I'm preparing to start the International Corndog Association or Global Corndog Network or Universal Corndog Alliance.
The website will be a venue for Corndog Enthusiasts to post photos of them & their Corndogs! We will celebrate The Corndog via pictures so we don't gain enormous pouches...

The Power of Grassroots Blobbing: Mitch's Story Everywhere!

PHOTO: The Ukulady's Pet: The Unicorndog!
Dear Blob,
Grassroots blobbing worked! You, blob, using your blobby tenticles, reached a real reporter for the Glendora Patch, who's story subsequently meeped Fired-For-Being-Gay Mitch's story out to the Gay Blobbing Galaxy and now Mitch and Devynn are featured on the front page of www.Advocate.com! If one googles Gay Coach Charter Oak, Mitch's story is everywhere!

This is not the way Mitch planned to get famous; he is a hilarious writer, storyteller & Entertainment Visionary. He is responsible for The Ukulady's early youtube fame, getting me a million hits and always has a brilliant showbiz scheme meeping around in his head.

I am relieved I'm no longer responsible for being the Interweb Voice of Mitch's story and somewhat shocked that the power of Grassroots Blobbing actually works. The more I read versions of Mitch's firing, the more ridiculous and outrageous it becomes. I hope the National Corndog Association gets aboard our Outrage-Train and sues Charter Oak for slander.

After I wrote the above sentence, I googled National Corndog Association and found no url, but did find National Corndog Day! Now I'm excited! And wondering if I should start The National Corndog Association... a non-profit dedicated to the advancement of Corndog Appreciation and Corndog Celebration.... Seeking Intern to Help Ukulady launch the National Corndog Association! Must be able to build HTML.

Love The Ukulady
ps: "Look at the Nipple!" I heard my pal say. He said Pitbull. Pitbull Nipple.

Fired-For-Being-Gay, Mitch's News Stories Hit the Stands!

Dear Blob,
Nothing like being emotionally attached to a media story to remember how slanted and biased the media is, depending on reporters & newspaper ownership. Here are 2 stories by real journalists about Fired-For-Being-Gay BFF, Mitch:

1. The San Gabriel Tribune

2. The Glendora Patch

The San Gabriel Tribune cropped Mitch's daughter, Devynn out of the photo and lays most blame on Mitch's firing for having gaycentric pictures. This is similar to telling a rape victim she's at fault for wearing a mini-skirt.

The entire reason we, Team Stein, feel Mitch has been discriminated against, is because the photos he had on Facebook were neither offensive nor inappropriate, unless you hate drag queens. The San Gabriel Tribue makes the pictures sound racy and outrageous, which they aren't. Boo to the San Gabriel Tribune; Ukulady gives you 3 stars out of 10.

And to make matters worse, they printed a terrible picture of Mitch; he is much cuter in real life. The photo-editors definitely know the way to piss of a gay man: print an unflattering photo of him.

Luckily the Glendora Patch's article is a much more accurate story and gets to the heart of the issue: How has this affected Devynn? And, ultimately, Mitch was a stellar water-polo coach and is an outstanding Dad and the Charter Oak Water Polo Team wants him back.

Kids model behavior. Mitch's firing because he hangs with Drag Queens and poses with corndogs is a green light for kids to rock out at the Hate Festival.

I'm currently reading a 1950's History of the World book, which is surprisingly, outstanding and a reminder that humans have not changed in the past several hundred thousand years. Humans have always been fearful, war-mongering bullies... until they get to know their targets. Then they fall in love. Same old story.

The Ukulady aims to be a Force of Change and continues to campaign for the Downfall of Evil!

Love The Ukulady

ps: Ted Haggarty is going on Celebrity Wife Swap! Poor man; he needs to meep it up with our drag queen friends.

pps: I'm a working girl for the next few weeks, pounding the pavement of LA, seeking camera-ready people with new cars for a market research project; I get business lunch!

ppps: I've inserted a Cute Picture of Mitch to counter the unflattering San Gabriel pic. He's adorable.

Celebrate Thumbs in Joshua Tree & Mitch Update!

Dear Blob,
Like firming a muscle with regular, focused attention, relationships & psyches require firming and nothing firms like a trip out of the city. Ukulad and I packed up our camping gear, costumes & Evil Sandwich and in 3 hours were surrounded by the Pink Rocks of Joshua Tree National Park. A million Thumbs Up!

Speaking of thumbs, I spent some Thumb Appreciation time recently, hiding my thumbs under my hands and using my acting background, super-concentrated on internalizing the sensation of being Thumbless, with only 4 working fingers. If I didn't have thumbs my pointer-finger would become superhero-muscley, ripped, as they say in the gyms, fitness & wrestling arenas of planet earth. I'm so glad I have thumbs; Celebrate Thumbs!

In other news, Open Mics & American Idol-like shows are the Modern Campfires of Today. Humans used to gather round the fire and weave song 'n' stories to entertain the tribe or do shadow puppets. Joshua Tree has primo Shadow-Puppet stages everywhere and our campsite was the scene of several alligator, bird & frog shadow-dramas. Joshua Tree rocks are like the Broadway stage for Shadow Puppets. We couldn't get past Short-form Shadow Puppets with the storyline of existence to mouth-opening-activities to death by being-eaten. Good times!

Love The Ukulady

ps: UPDATE ON FIRED-FOR-BEING-GAY-MITCH!
Fired-For-Being-Gay Mitch's story has finally been picked up by a real reporter for the Glendora Patch, a blog attached to the Huffington Post! The actual newspaper, a small Covina/Pomona rag, who was going to run the story decided to put off reporting the story until an actual lawsuit is filed, which could be weeks. We assume the newspaper is backed by Conservatives; why else would they put off reporting the News?

pps: I awoke this morning pleased I don't live in a town called Shrillsville. Shrillsville! A town for the shrill!

We Go Together!

Dear Blob,
I am a Valentine & Nature Enthusiast! This song was written in Barra De Navidad, Mexico and videoed in Joshua Tree, CA.

Love The Ukulady

10 Pleasing Word Combos: Day 4

Dear Blob,

1. Strippers eating Chicken Strips on the Strip.
2. Frenergy: Friend Energy!
3. Hobosexuals: Peeps who fancy Hobos.
4. Picky & Busy: Sisters
5. Pumice & Hummus: Sisters
6. Miss Fish, the misfit Fish.
7. Turtleneck! The Movie.
8. Manitard: leotard for men; Catchitard: netted leotard; Shellacitard: Glossy leotard.
9. Al Pacino Cheetos
10. The Fez Dispenser: Stocked with Shriner's headwear.

Love The Ukulady
ps: Detective Nibbles & The Wiglet: a Book

10 Pleasing Word Combos: Day 3

Dear Blob,
10 Pleasing Thoughts 'n' Word Combos:

1. The Trip-Trapping of the Von Trapp children...

2. Kim Jong Ill: When you are feeling sickly-despotic/manical; use: "I'm feeling really Kim Jon Ill! I Rule the Universe!"

3. Tidbit Quibble: "Stop Tidbit Quibbling! Todd gets the crumb, Velva gets the morsel!"

4. Flesh Vest & Flesh Cuffs: Kim Jong Il wore a Double-breasted Flesh Vest with Flesh Cuffs.

5. Pillogne: Pillowy Bologne

6. Muffin Man vs. Muscle Man

7. Ukuladian Geometry

8. Temps eating Tempeh in Tempe, Az.

9. Stage Parents vs. Stage Peanuts

10: Organic Ice: "This ice is organic...."

Love The Ukulady

ps: 10.5. Ricotta Frittata on Cibatta!

Update on Fired-For-Being-Gay-in-LA-County, Mitch Stein!

Dear Blob,
Finally gay BFF, Mitch Stein, Fired-For-Being-Gay, has given me the thumbs up to blob about the entire story so far, as I understand it:

As we know, Readers & Blob, Gay-Bear-BFF was fired from his water-polo-coaching job because of 3 photos found on his facebook page by an anonymous parent, who sent the them to the principal and superintendent of Charter Oak High School in Covina, CA.

Breaking News: Mitch is 99% sure that the Anonymous Parent is a former classmate of his who, incredibly, used to gay-bash him in high school!

Here's the Scoop:
Apparently another coach ordered several water-polo players to wash cars for a water-polo-related punishment. One of the car-washers was the son of the Gay-Bashing Anonymous Parent (apparently a Cop!); other carwashing water-polo-players have come forward to say that, upon seeing his kid washing cars, they overheard Gay-Bashing Anonymous Parent say: "I'm going get that F*****g F*gg*t!" Wow.

My breath is taken away with outrage, sadness and disgust. What is so scary to Gay-Bashing Cop-Dad about being Gay?

The good news is most of the water-polo parents are now wearing Team Stein tee-shirts and several other high schools have offered Mitch water-polo-coaching jobs. However, Mitch coached to spend time with his daughter, who by the way, is doing well and loves high school. Strong kid.

The school has yet to respond to Why Mitch Was Fired, but did send 3 certified letters downsizing the facebook photos from Obscene to Inappropriate. Watch out Corndog-Snacking People in Photographs!

Where is the press? Aside from my modest snack-centric blob, there will be an article coming out in a Pomona/Covina rag; but not until Mitch's lawsuit of is filed. Where is the LA Times? If this is how the press covers discrimination & homophobia, no wonder people still feel justified to smugly commit acts of Hate.

Where are the gay folks in the Covina? Why aren't they rallying? Why aren't they loud and angry that someone in their community has been fired for being gay? Sadly, we think that they are scared, afraid of being targets for hate crime. Mitch's firing is sending the gays of Covina and Pomona back into the closet. Makes me want to record an audio cassette of throw-up sounds and magically make it play on loop in the prinicipal's car, office & home.

Something is horribly wrong here. No one is blobbing about this; 1 small-time newspaper has picked up the story, but hasn't even published it yet! Where are the Gay Rights blob-bloggers? Please pick up this news! Don't let the kids of Covina learn from the celebration of hate perpetuated by the Charter Oak High School District.

Love The Ukulady

ps: I wonder how many gay bars the Gay-Bashing Anonymous Cop Parent secretly frequents? Give us a break, Gay-Basher! We know you want to be tagged in the Ukulady's Japanese Creme Collon Cookie picture

10 Pleasing Word Combos: Day 2

Dear Blob,
10 Pleasing Thoughts Verbally & Visually: Day 2

1. Shrimp Thins: Crackers
2. Flesh Punch: a beverage
3. Backpack Snack-Yak
4. Tuna Cotillion: Party for Tuna Teens named Tina
5. Flatmeat Melts 'n' Flatmelt Meats
6. Kvetch Cords: Corduroys to wear while kvetching
7. Florkle: Ladel & Fork
8. Jehovah Java: Coffee for the Devout
9. Prostitots: Baby hookers
10: Trader Jews: TJ's for the Heebs

Love The Ukulady

ps: Is Oy in the Dictionary?
pps: Where does the word Corduroy come from? So weird.

10 Pleasing Thoughts: Day 1

Dear Blob,
10 Pleasing Thoughts: Verbally or Visually

1. Minions with Bunions: The Egyptian slaves, hauling all those stone blocks....
2. Excellence Day
3. Fashion Model Fish
4. Spungry: Spunky & Hungry
5. Chartreuse: a girl's name
6. Ganhdi: I put the Fist in Pacifist!
7. She-Whistle vs. He-Whistle
8. Baby-Steps vs. Booby-Traps
9. Christ-Krispies: a Cereal for the Devout
10. Knee Caps: Hats for Knees

Love The Ukulady
ps: Squid Square

UkuAdventures: Resignation Mired in Capitalism!

Dear Blob,
1. Waiting Rooms are a Vortex of Hell. This week I was forced to watch Gluttony TV in a medical Waiting Room. The only redemption was the fact that I am not actually in a cinematic Far-Sideish Hell and I didn't have to stay there forever.

2. Gluttony TV: Man vs. Food the Television Show is an exceptional example of Humanity at its Worst. If I was an alien mother and my alien child wanted to take the spacecraft to cruise Planet Earth, I would show my alien child an episode of that television show in hopes of deterring his journey.

Yet, the gluttonous part of me enjoys the enormous melty-cheese-heavy foods consumed by the host and I'm interesting in visiting the Giant Food Eateries featured. However by the end of the show, when the host, sweating melted-cheese and MSG, stuffs the last of a 5 pound cheeseburger into his pie-hole, I'm repelled by the Celebration of Gluttony and disappointed, once again, in American Television's Promotion of Excess.

These are times, not of Unawareness of the Dark Side, of which Gluttony is part of, but Resignation mired in Capitalism. "Shrug, sigh, oh well, the '60's movement didn't work; there's a serious water problem, toxic-waste everywhere, politicians have learned nothing from the last 1000 years, human genes will either mutate & get with the program or die-off, so I may as well make some money so I can afford to live in a non-polluted part of planet earth....Mmmm, French Fries..."

When Greed & Narcissism, which seem ingrained in human genetics, are bred out of humans, my pretend Alien Mother will allow my pretend Alien child to visit Planet Earth.

Love The Ukulady

ps: My pal's psychic step-mother (take it in) says that when Planet Earth has catastrophic toxic events occur, like Fukushima, there is a rise in UFO sightenings because radiation affects ET's and the Universe... Time to Celebrate Life Today!

Ukuadventures in LA: Weird-Skin Fever!

Dear Blob,
I forgot to mention I've got some weird splotchy skin condition in the exact same place on both hands, which appeared overnight. It seems to be an allergic reaction, perhaps to plants or dirt, of which I've been dabbling in.

My hands appear to have been splashed with dark stain, the opposite of my imaginary BFF, Michael Jackson's supposed splotchy skin-whitening disease, vitiligo. The weblet of my fingers, when spread like an enthusiastic gymnast, now has super-dark pigment reaching from between the pinkies to each finger-web and the entire fleshy top-hand section near the thumb. It's slightly itchy, now and again but from my interweb research, does not seem to be cancer, thank meep.

Speaking in reading-words, of Michael Jackson, I used to have a re-occuring dream that I helped him, listened to him, like a therapist friend. One night I dreamt my good non-imaginary friend, Jeff Brown, beat out Michael Jackson in Blue Man Group Auditions. I told Jeff of this dream and he went out and auditioned for Blue Man, winning a spot on the Blue Man squad and has been paying his bills catching mock-marshmallows in his mouth for years.

When Brittney Spears was troubled, I dreamt several times I was her helper-therapist friend. Thankfully, those dreams have passed; I have no interest in helping Brittney. Michael, yes, but sadly, he didn't hear my Psychic MeepCall of Friendship.

Love The Ukulady

PS: Fabulous Word Combos:
1. Snack Trolley
2. Diner Dinner Date (Lad and I enjoyed a grilled-cheese date at Mar Vista's 5-star bowling alley diner recently)
3. Sleepwalking Snacktasting

UkuCrafting Fever!

Dear Blob,
Will someone please invent an awesome hot glue gun? Hot Glue Gun technology is seriously stuck in the sixties.


Love The Ukulady

Tell a Dog with Grandma Cookie Jar!

UkuAdventures in LA: The Horror of the LA County Fair & Fired-For-Being-Gay Mitch Update!

PHOTOS: Wiggle Wurm, Giant Pumpkin, Man's Neck



Dear Blob,
I made the mistake of going to the LA County Fair yesterday. It was dollar-day and Fired-For-Being-Gay BFF Mitch, his daughter Devynn and the Ukulad, were up for the event.

I love county fairs, being surrounded by cordog stands and shiny, bright rides, even though I don't enjoy riding; however the LA County Fair is like the Far Side Hell version of the Fair.

Several years ago I wrote this song about the LA County Fair; perhaps I thought it had changed, but it is still a Vortex of the Worst of Humanity, including:

1. Whore Mommies: These are tarted-up mommies (usually very young), in super-high-heels and skimpy, skin-tight outfits, pushing strollers. Who goes to the Fair in stilettos? Perhaps they have robot-feet.

2. Extreme Pouches: Like Extreme Sports, Extreme Pouches are tummy pouches taken to the next level. LA County Fair patrons, when not in Whore Mommy outfits, are clad in what Tina Fey calls Mom Jeans, I call them Pouch Pants: usually plus-sized humans in thick, tight jeans, waistbanded just under the bosom, cinched tight at the upper waist (located above the belly button), with ballooning pouches sheathed in denim above and below the belt, causing the Extreme Pouch People to resemble gigantic 8's.

3. Babies drinking Slurpees, Sodas & eating French Fries.

4. Mullets, cameltoes, gluttony, consumerism, heat-exhaustion medicated with softee-serve.

6. Family abuse. This was the tipping point of Awfulness. I made the huge mistake of standing in a 30 minute line for a corndog, when I saw an adult man punch a pre-teen boy, who seemed to be his stepson. The mother stood by, snacking on her fried-stick, 2 smaller boys, resembling the adult man, ignored the violence and continued munching fried stix, probably relieved they were not the target.

It was horrible and horrifying and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to give the punched kid a card for a family-abuse hotline/non-profit; I wanted to yell at the mother to protect her kids and notify authorities of the abuse. However, surrounded by thousands of people, flashing ride-lights and carnies hawking, there wasn't much I could do. The father was the kind of guy who would probably punch me if I said anything.

I wanted to take photos of all the incredibly horrible Outfit No's, but instead, I took a picture with my Cameraheart.

Why is the LA County Fair worse than other fairs? It could be the 15 million Angelinos, disconnected to nature and community, unaccustomed to looking strangers in the eyeballs and de-programmed from saying hello on the street. A sea of sweating humans gorging on shiny-tan-foods in checkered baskets made from trees, soon to be landfill.

We marveled at the amount of money coming in; Mitch estimated one carnie stand was bringing in $40 every 5 minutes.

The best part of the fair is the convention hall of plants and tacky National Park displays with paper-mache wolves 'n' bears.

The Ukulad: They tore up real nature to construct fake nature.

Humans flocked to the cool halls of green chlorophyll and kids happily frolicked on a man-made tree-laden hill with dioramas of fake animals mixed with real animals in glass cases. The Angeles Mountains were clear in the distance, the smog of LA joyously blown away. I longed to be in the mountains, but at the same time my eyeballs enjoyed the rainbow sparkles of the carnival rides and portable candy-snack-shacks.

Positive LA County Fair highlights included the table-setting competition, the quilts and looking at old baked goods in competition display cabinets.

Love The Ukulady

ps: Update from Fired-For-Being-Gay Mitch: The school district refuses to make a statement and has downgraded his facebook photos from Obscene to Inappropriate. The parents of the water-polo players have made Team Stein tee-shirts and all the players cheered when Mitch appeared on the pool deck, cooler of water and oranges in hand, to cheer on the team.

The homophobic principal announced she would make appear at a water-polo-parent meeting and make a statement, but she was a no-show. Several other high schools have offered coaching jobs to Mitch, but he turned them down, as the point of coaching was to spend time with his daughter. Devynn loves high school. Stay tuned for more.... Newspaper articles should be out soon....

pps: During the Pig Races, I sat behind a man with the most extraordinary crinkly-neck: see photo.

Tell a Dog with Don Black of Ghiant Music!

Dear Blob,
In honor of my BFF, Global Genius, Don Black, Tells a Dog his problems and then feels better!

Love The Ukulady
ps: Headed to the LA County Fair! Mullets, Corndogs & Cameltoe here we come!

How To Feel Better About Life: Thankful I'm Not a Sister Wife!

PHOTOS: SAG Sister Wives vs. Non-Union Sister Wives


Dear Blob,
I've started watching Sister Wives the reality show on TVComputer. My overwhelming feeling after watching Kody, his 4 wives and 16 kids, is exhaustion and relief that my parents are neither Mormons nor Plural Marriage Enthusiasts.

Watching Sister Wives is a great way to feel good about one's own family. With 4 wives and 16 kids, Sister Wives family-dysfunction is Orange Alert if Family Dysfunction was on the governments color-coded Terror Alert, which by the way, has been phased out. I pitied the awkward teens of the plural-marriage family.

Sister Wives inspired today's Mini-Guide To Feeling Better About Your Life!

1. When feeling low about your family dysfunction, enjoy an episode of Sister Wives! At least you didn't grow up in the world of plural marriage!
2. If you can't watch Sister Wives because you don't have eyeballs or TVComputer, feel thankful you have arms!
3. If you don't have arms, at least you have eyeballs to read this!
4. If your eyeballs don't work, at least you have access to audio technology that allows you to listen to the Ukulady's reasons for feeling thankful.
5. If you are a member of a plural marriage family, think of the Donner Party!

Love The Ukulady

ps: The Ukulad is tired of thinking of the Donner Party in times of stress.

pps: I mourn the television loss of Big Love; SAG Sister Wives are much more visually-pleasing to watch than Non-Union life Sister Wives.