Tuesday, July 19, 2011

UkuAdventures in Mexico: Trouble at the Oxxo!

PHOTOS: SuaviCreams! Giant Durian, Sad Jesus, Marshmallow Cannibals!

Dear Blob,
Good Customer Service speaks neither English or Spanish, but the universal language of politeness. Jessaly's days at the Oxxo, our mini-mart of choice, may be numbered. The Sullen, Overly-Made-Up Mini-Mart Clerk is also universal. Today's clerk, in her Daisy Duke shorts, barely peeping out from under her regulation Oxxo smock, got on her cell phone, as we approached her domain. Whore-Clerkette proceeded to chat on her cell as Jessica asked, in fairly passable Espanol, for cigarettes; it took literally several minutes of calling,"Dunhill Negro, Por Favor!" for Whore-Clerkette to saunter from the white packages on one side of the shelf to the other, as she dialed numbers on her phone and texted.

Then Jessica broke the handle of the Frosty Frappaccino machine. It's ridiculous that the word Frappaccino has crossed international borders.

We are on the fence whether we should return to the Oxxo. Jessica is too embarrassed to cross the threshold; I think they make shoddy Frappuccino handles. We are boycotting Kiosko due to their assumption we don't know how to count. That must be what clerks think when they attempt to shortchange customers; Ahh, here comes a gringo who is also a woman! She must not know how to count! Little do they know, Thessica is an overly-educated freelancer, notorious for watching her pennies, as every freelance-penny counts!

In other news, Conchita seems to love me now that Baby OC is gone; there are 2 black iguanas living on the backyard wall & we've begun our Farmacia exploration. It brings the constant animosity I feel towards the American healthcare system brightly into focus.

Love The Ukulady

ps: I cooked some green peppers tonight, which were surprisingly spicy and hours after cutting them, left my hands feeling spicy-tingley, the same way my lips felt after eating them. It's tricky to figure out which produce signs go to which vegetable at the Mercado. There are several onion and pepper varieties and clearly, I purchased the non-mild.
pps: Avocados are expensive here! Same price as in the states.
ppps: When I return to LA, our avocado tree will be in full bloom; I intend to sell the avocados on Venice Boulevard at Beethoven; swing on by, LA Readers!

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