Thursday, July 21, 2011

UkuAdventures in Mexico: Dining Room Table Bed!

Day & Night

Dear Blob,
Ukuadventures are becoming increasingly ridiculous. I slept on the dining room table last night.

The flea problem, or whatever creatures are infesting Casa Azul, are in all 3 bedrooms and the couches and their number is growing. Of course we are on the hunt for a fumigator asap, however, this is Mexico and we are on Mexican time.

From the Beginning: Jessica's first week, she slept in the office bedroom, waking every morning, or in her case, noon, with dozens of bites, seemingly from spiders, mosquitoes and possibly fleas. So she switched to the master bedroom. The morning bites continued and a few days ago, we noticed flea creatures hopping around the couches.

Yesterday morning I awoke, after a poor 'n' itchy nights-unrest, covered in flea-seeming nibblets. My fitful sleep also resulted in a horrible dream about having 3 boobs. Last night, before bed, we changed all the sheets and pillowcases and I retired to bed. While reading (interviews with John Lennon & Yoko), I felt the distinct sensation of bugs hop-crawling on me; alert, I put aside the book and waited for the creatures. Within 5 minutes I killed at least 10. Disturbingly, some seemed like fleas, needing to be killed by fingernail slicing, while some were more easily crushed and left a tiny bug-blood smear. This worried me and the American panic of bed-bug infestation swept over Thessica.

Jessica, laptop in hand, skittled into the library bedroom and we researched bedbugs vs. fleas. We got the flashlights and examined all the mattress nooks 'n' crannies. None of the mattresses exhibited signs of bedbugs but the description of the blood-smear death-mark matched. I weighed my options: a bug-infested soft bed or the dining room table. I chose the table.

A couple towels and chair cushions, it was a pretty good night's rest. Luckily, I was fairly exhausted from a hard day of swimming 'n' sun in La Manzanilla, which is another story of new friendsies of the it's-a-small-world variety, a Mexican Andy Warhol & luxury swimming pool-party.

This morning I awoke to my first phone call, from HB Larry. Hot Town Scoop! Laura's hard-partying, hooker-humping, grocery-store boss died of a heart-attack and she was now in charge and dealing with funeral expenses & planning. I told him I slept on the table.

An email from Carmen & Sally directed us to Fumigator, "Lupe's Husband". Larry rang his doorbell by shouting over the wall, "Lupe!" Very Arrested Development. Lupe's Husband sent the 10 year old daughter to the front gate with the message his sprayer is broken.

We then went to Laura's sister's, Leelah, who advised HB Larry to perform the fumigation poison-party himself, as the other town fumigator is the nephew of the Dead Party-Lovin' Boss and is busy at the Wake.

We retired to Casa Azul for coffee at my bed, where, comparing hard-surface-sleep stories, Larry reminisced about falling asleep on a motor-boat-motor.

As of this writing, the Tomzap forum has provided another fumigator, Daniel, who will be here at 1:30 to assess the situation. We will look appropriately pathetic & sympathetic so's to avoid another night on the table. Crossies!

Love The Ukulady
ps: Small-World Magic: Larry's pal in La Manzanilla is Mark, a web-designer from LA. Mark is moving into the Title Guarantee Building in downtown LA on Sunday. My former roommate and BFF lives there and I'm supposed to write the building theme song for their weekly-Brunch'n'Supper Club.
pps: Mark hosted us at his gorgeous hillside home, where we swam, kept an eye out for scorpions & I broke a glass in his pool.
ppps: Chickens eat Scorpions! This is why we haven't seen many in the Barrio!

1 comment:

Gabby La La said...

Dear Thessica,
Mimi La La suggests sprinkling baking soda all over the infested areas. Leave it for about 10 minutes then vacuum it up. Also, lavendar, spearmint, or eucalyptus! best of luck to you.... I'm having sympathy bites:(