Poor Brittney! Not only is her offical website still under construction, but one can only imagine the pain and self-loathing she must be feeling as she makes her way through various rehabs, San Fernando tattoo parlors and K-Fed's driveway. She is so interestingly self-destructive! Jenna Bush is nothing compared to Britsies! I'm a little disappointed that there's been no new Brit news since last week, but I suppose I'll have to distract myself with a growing dislike of being phone-routed to India when I need the help of a native English speaker, preferably accentless.
I never thought I'd find myself in need of a red-blooded American, but dealing with Electronic Art's tax bullshit is turning me into a bit of a racist. Perhaps racist is too strong a word. I simply want to speak with someone familiar with American tax forms, rules and regulations who I don't have to ask to repeatedly repeat themselves because I can't decipher his accent. I'm pleased that the bright young Indians fluent in English have good jobs at the phone centers of Bangelore, but all I want is to speak to an American employee of Electronic Arts.
Meanwhile, Brittney is another classic example of a child star gone wrong. Here's an idea: Crazy Stage-Parents, don't whore your child out! Of course Brittney is losing her shit - she was dressed in sexypot outfits and not only applauded for being a sexy 11 year old, but her repulsive mother pushed her to national fame, capitalizing on western society's sick sexualization of children. Hey Mrs. Spears, you think there's a correlation between the rampant pedophilia problem and young Brittney whoring it up in her hot "Oops I did It Again" video? Target offers thong panties for five year olds. I'm considering setting up camp, like Cindy Sheehan, in front of Promises, the Malibu rehab center, so when Brittney comes out, I can help her! I can show her how to put on her adult thong-panties and strap her 2 babies into their carseats. And I'll take her to yoga with me, where she'll develop a healthy inner-body-bright. Poor Brittney.
Love The UkuLady