Sunday, March 11, 2007

The Love of Mr. Peanut & Mr. Potato-Head

Dear Blog,
Don't you think that Mr. Peanut and Mr. Potato Head would make a great couple?! Mr. Peanut is the flamy fashion-conscious, slightly prissy, of the couple. Mr. Potato Head is the bear, the voice of reason, pleasingly plump; perhaps dons a nice pair of leather chaps for the Folsom Street Faire. They bicker flirtatiously in public, perhaps engage in threesomes and other gay adventures; but ultimately Mr. Peanut comes home at night to Mr. Potato Head, who is cuisinarting a fresh pesto, using an Alice Waters' recipe.
They have their single gay friends over for manhattans and fictionary, Mr. Kool Aid and Twinkie the Kid, who occasionally meets Mr. Peanut for sultry rendezvous in tawdry motels or steamy cars parked near the ocean.
The most beautiful man I ever saw at the Folsom Street faire (Jenna, it's an S&M festival in San Francisco's leather district) was a totally hairless, naked, dark black man with piercing sapphire eyes, twirling in a see-everything tutu on a podium. My friend, Kacy, and I were magnetically drawn to him, gazing upon his hypnotic spin, when Kacy said, "Oh my god, that's my UPS man!" I think Mr. Peanut would look equally as magnetic tutu-clad, naked as only Mr. Peanut and his sexy monocle could be.
A new friend today told me there was once a Mrs. Kool Aid. I'm going to wikipedia that later.
Tortured with transition, The UkuLady

No comments: