Sunday, March 11, 2007

Poor Lindsey Lohan

Dear Blog,
I'm so worried about my non-myspace celebrity friend, Lindsey! She's not only taken to fully shaving her vagina, but she's gone into rehab! Blog, she's seriously in need of understanding, love and forgiveness and it seems that all she gets are million-dollar movie contracts and free drinks at hollywood hot spots. Poor Lindsey Lohan. Not only is her father insane and in jail, but her mother is really controlling and kind of ugly in a face-lifty way; so of course poor Lindsey has turned to cocaine because cocaine is the perfect foster parent and mentor.
The mentoring programs of America should stop wasting their time on training people and start handing out cocaine to the kids; along with a warning pamphlet so the kids don't get too hooked and have to go to rehab like Lindsey. Everything in moderation..... However, rehab in LA is the perfect place to make best friends with a celebrity, who is sure, upon rehab release, to fiscally support whatever art the celebritie's new rehab BFF is bent on creating! All us artists who want to make movies or have theater companies should get hooked on coke or anorexia so we can join our celebrity pals, Nicole and Lindsey in rehab; befriend them and our financial worries may be over! Good luck in rehab, Lindsey!
Love The UkuLady Storm Lerner

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